16
Get the “It” Factor: Create Presence

Clients whom I’m coaching often ask, “How do I get executive presence?” The question is tricky because “executive presence” isn’t easily defined. Most folks agree that leaders need it and great leaders have it. But it’s not so simple to deconstruct its elements.

Your definition may be based on a leader you know who has a commanding aura. You know what I mean—someone who exudes confidence and attracts people like a magnet. Sometimes the value of executive presence seems most obvious when it’s missing. I’m thinking of Ed*, a brilliant corporate attorney who was repeatedly overlooked when spots opened within his company’s management ranks. When I asked the COO whether Ed was likely to be promoted, she said, “No. He’ll always be valued as a talented technical lawyer, but we’re not going to move him up. Ed just doesn’t have executive presence.”

The COO didn’t try to define “executive presence,” but I knew what she meant. The attorney could write memos like a dream. When asked a question, however, he seemed hesitant. He’d mumble, then he’d shuffle down the hall. He just didn’t have “It.” He didn’t radiate that assurance, that dignity, that sense of control that others see as “executive presence.”

Use this checklist to build presence

Do you sometimes worry that you don’t have enough of that “It” factor? Do you fear you’ll miss out on career opportunities, despite your great work, because you lack a powerful demeanor? Presence is an elusive quality, like love or happiness; you can’t just pick some up. But you can do a great deal to appear more like a leader. You can build your presence by changing the ways you look and behave, and even how you think and feel about yourself.

Here’s a checklist of key factors that contribute to executive presence. If you want to enhance your gravitas, read through the questions and find points to work on:

1) Do you have a leadership vision? As we discussed in Chapter 5, it’s easier to act like a leader when you have a clear sense of the attributes of leadership. If you can’t easily describe your vision of a leader, list characteristics you admire, such as reliability, honesty, or a positive attitude. Look at your list frequently so that you’re reminded to incorporate these traits into your daily behavior.

2) Do you seem organized? If you’re typically late, if your papers are a mess, and if you have trouble meeting deadlines, then your presence is compromised. Colleagues may see you as disorganized and unable to get the job done. Suzy* is a communications consultant who thought of herself as a ditzy, creative type. She’d explain away her lateness by saying, “Oh, you know us artists.” But finally she realized that her firm’s partners regarded her as a bit out of control. She saw they weren’t going to promote her to the role of client manager until something changed. Suzy got her calendar and other systems in order. And, significantly, she told all her colleagues that she was working with a coach to become more productive and organized. She reshaped her brand, and soon she was managing client accounts.

3) Do you need a makeover? It may not be fair, but physical appearance is an integral part of presence. To look like an executive, it helps to be well groomed and well dressed. If your clothes are dated and untidy, or your hair is always messy, you may come across as unpolished and not management material.

4) Can you make a presentation? The ability to give a speech or contribute useful remarks at a meeting will enhance your presence. Of course, you have to be clear and concise. But it’s also important to know how to engage with other people. Present your points in a way that makes them relevant to the audience. Listen carefully to questions and comments, and respond without becoming defensive.

5) Do you say what you mean? Whether you’re speaking to a crowd or chatting one-on-one, you’ll have more gravitas if you speak directly, without hesitation or self-deprecation. Ask colleagues to observe the way you talk, so they can help you spot self-critical phrasing or annoying habits like starting sentences with phrases like, “I’m not an expert, but . . .” If you sound like you’re uncertain of what you’re saying, you can’t expect others to be convinced.

6) How’s your vitality? Managing your presence requires taking charge of your energy level. If you’re sleep deprived, bored, or out of shape, you’re less likely to come across as a leader. Being frantic isn’t good either, because your hyperactivity can translate into stress for those around you. To appear more powerful, be serious about maintaining good health and fitness, and stay calm with practices like meditation.

7) Do you know how to appear more confident? People with executive presence seem cool and ready to handle any situation. But a superb record may not be enough to give professionals a belief in their own ability to master the next crisis. And even if they do know they can perform, that knowledge may not be apparent to others. A good starting point for boosting your confidence level, and making sure it shows, is to manage the voice in your head, as we discussed in Chapter 7.

8) What’s your body saying? Your nonverbal behavior can be even more important than your words. At least on an unconscious level, people make judgments based on your posture, facial expressions, and even your fleeting microexpressions. They may even “mirror” your smile or the way you are holding your body, with their emotions shifting to more closely match yours. And, according to fascinating research from psychologists like Harvard’s Amy Cuddy, your own brain also picks up those messages from your body and face. If you assume the stance of a confident person, your mind and emotions may follow, helping you to soon feel more confidence.

Although the concept of presence is complicated, I’ve seen professionals make speedy improvements in the way they come across. For example, there’s Lydia*, an accomplished economist whose concern about details translates into successful projects. But Lydia is such a perfectionist that, when handed a new assignment, she tends to immediately start fretting about the best way to start. Her boss told me that Lydia didn’t appear sure about her plans because of her worried demeanor. People hesitated to follow her directions because she often looked so anxious and uncertain.

Lydia understood that she’d be a better leader if she could appear more decisive. To work on this, she explored various forms of “self-talk” before settling on two techniques. First, before entering a meeting, she would define her intent for the occasion. It might be something such as, “I’m going to raise point X and come across as interested and positive.” Then she’d encourage herself with repeated affirmations such as, “My plan is on target and I know it will work.”

Lydia also became conscious of her body language, and realized that when anxious she’d bow her head, cross her arms, and hunch her shoulders. Inspired by Dr. Cuddy’s moving TED Talk, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are,” she began practicing “power posing.” Before making a presentation or attending an important event, she would go through a quick series of exercises, like holding her arms up high in a V shape. She said that the poses did seem to make her feel surer of herself. She also started regular yoga classes again and found that they helped her body stop feeling—and looking—so tense.

I spoke with Lydia’s boss a few months after she began working on her presence and he was surprised by her transformation in such a short time.

Building presence can mean work on many levels

There is much you can do to rapidly enhance your executive presence. And, on a deeper level, you can continue to strengthen your presence through exercises intended to develop the level of your self-awareness. Use these questions to check in with four aspects of yourself:

1) Your physical self:

How is my posture? Am I tense? Shall I relax my shoulders and other parts of my body?

What is the expression on my face? Am I frowning? Is my jaw clenched? Can I generate a smile?

How is my breathing? Is it shallow or hurried? Is it time for a deep, slow breath?

2) Your intellectual self:

Has that internal voice been nagging me with worries and regrets? Shall I put them aside for now?

What are my top goals for the day? For the next hour?

What is my plan for reaching my most immediate goal?

Is it time to shift my focus away from my own problems and onto another person?

3) Your emotional self:

Has there been a moment today when I experienced an intense emotion? What was it?

Did that surge of emotion impact the way I responded to another person?

What am I feeling now?

Are there feelings I want to let go, before going back to work?

4) Your spiritual self:

What key values will help me with the decisions I must make today?

Have my activities so far today been in keeping with the values that matter the most to me?

What are three things I feel grateful for?

Is it time for a moment of meditation, affirmation, or a quick prayer?

Can I help someone?