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The Jimmy Fallon Touch: Good Manners Help You Shine
I was delighted when a radio commentator reported that the National League of Junior Cotillions chose Jimmy Fallon to top its “Best-Mannered List for 2014.”
According to the League’s Website, Fallon was selected as Number One “for maintaining the dignity and respect of others through his comedic disposition as host of The Tonight Show.”
I can’t think of a better choice. Part of what makes Fallon so charming is that he invariably seems delighted to be with his guests and determined to help them look good. Much of our enjoyment comes from his intense interest in their success and his whole body laughter at their jokes. Even if you don’t think he’s funny, you can’t help but like Jimmy Fallon. Perhaps social graces like his are so appealing because they are a low-key application of the Golden Rule. The way he interacts with others seems to say: I’ll be nice to you and I have confidence that you’ll be nice to me.
The ideals of polite behavior may not be a topic of discussion in your workplace. But you’ll know what your colleague means if he describes someone as “a real gentleman,” or “a true lady.” People with excellent social manners tend to stand out. And we enjoy being with polite people because they tend to notice us and are so aware of our needs.
For a personal brand that sets you apart from the crowd, learn from Fallon. Develop a reputation for treating everyone with respect. Of course, what counts most are the big things, like pitching in to support your coworkers in a crisis. But you can enhance your brand by consistently exhibiting good manners in even small ways. These seven strategies can help you develop the Jimmy Fallon touch:
1) Say “hello.” When we’re around other people, it’s always decent to acknowledge their presence. Your rude coworkers may act like others are invisible, but with a simple “good morning” you can forge a sense of connection and goodwill.
2) Shake hands. The perfect handshake is valued in U.S. culture, and it allows you to exude confidence and warmth. This simple gesture can help you to make a good first impression, reconnect with someone you haven’t seen in a while, or say a polished “goodbye.” Try these tips to perfect your handshake:
Be quick to extend your right hand, particularly if you are the older person or have the higher authority.
Look the other person in the eye before and during your handshake. And offer a greeting or pleasantry such as, “It’s great to meet you.”
Allow your grip to be firm but not crushing.
Shake your hand up and down, just a few inches, and not more than once or twice.
3) Speak with basic courtesy. Your habits of speech say a lot about you. These guidelines set a minimum standard:
Be quick to say “please” and “thank you” to everyone.
Say “excuse me” if you bump into or must interrupt someone.
Avoid profanity and crude language.
Praise or congratulate folks on their achievements, even if it requires you to bite back a twinge of envy.
4) Be considerate of others’ time. When people are busy, it’s unkind to waste their minutes and hours:
Be punctual for meetings and appointments.
Respond quickly to invitations (to save time spent on follow-up).
Don’t waste time with rants or lengthy accounts of small matters.
Don’t play with your phone during a meeting or conversation.
5) Treat colleagues with class. The way you talk about others can shape your reputation:
Don’t gossip with coworkers about coworkers.
Don’t bad-mouth your boss, your team, or your organization.
Share credit, paying special attention to junior team members whose work might otherwise go unnoticed.
6) Debate with civility. Disagreement is part of the creative process and responsible professionals aren’t afraid to speak up, but that’s no excuse for being mean:
Express criticism in terms of the work or the concept, and avoid making it about the person.
When possible, frame your comments in a positive way.
Avoid sarcasm because it’s seldom amusing and can lead to misunderstandings.
Let the other side speak, genuinely listen to their views, and imagine what it’s like from their perspective.
7) Dine with style. Table manners are about assuring that everyone has a good time and nobody’s enjoyment is ruined by someone else’s gross behavior. Don’t get hung up on questions about which fork to use. The point of standardized silverware rules is to make guests comfortable as they select the implement for each course. And nobody will care if you pick up the “wrong” fork. On the other hand, avoid disrupting the table by knowing which wine glass and bread plate belong to you. The standard is that all glasses are placed on the right side of the main dinner plate (“drink to the right”), and other dishes are on the left (“eat to the left”). Beyond that, in U.S. business circles, these rules are widely accepted:
Don’t object when your host indicates where you should sit.
Always chew with your mouth closed.
Don’t speak when you have food in your mouth.
Eat quietly, taking small manageable bites.
Don’t slurp or blow on your food to cool it—just wait until it’s not so hot.
Never blow your nose on your napkin.
Never pick your teeth at the table.
The main point is that people with the Jimmy Fallon touch project the message that everyone matters. They’re considerate. And they help build cultures where everyone can collaborate, perform well, and enjoy the work. It’s no wonder that other people like being around them.