7
Who Do You Think You Are? Tone and Style
“Style is the dress of thoughts.”
—Lord Chesterfield
“Proper words in proper places
make the true definition of style.”
—Jonathan Swift
“When we come across a natural style, we are
surprised and delighted; for we expected
an author, and we find a man.”
—Blaise Pascal
HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU OVERHEARD someone complain, “It’s not what he said but how he said it. Who does he think he’s talking to?” Tone of voice is an important factor in our professional and personal relationships. When you neglect to use the appropriate tone in speech or writing, you undermine your reader’s ability to respond with a positive or open attitude to your message, no matter how important or logical or persuasive its content. In the sets of sentences that follow, notice how your response to each sentence differs according to its tone of voice.
1a. We feel no further obligation to assist in this matter.
1b. We have provided all the help we can regarding this matter.
2a. You have clearly failed once again to understand the main points in my memo.
2b. I need to explain several key points in my memo.
3a. We told you and we repeat we have no interest in your invention.
3b. Thank you for offering to sell us your invention.
Unfortunately, the benefits it provides lie outside our daily production needs.
Unless you’re a mean-spirited person, most likely you appreciate the second sentence in each set due to its less negative, and hence, more professional tone. The first sentences indicate stubborn noncompliance to a request, dissatisfaction, annoyance, and irritation, not the most welcoming of feelings directed to the reader. You will find that generally people will respond positively to incoming writing even when they are feeling stressed or angry, provided the message is not openly hostile or confrontational. The “partly sunny” day is always more inviting than the “partly cloudy” one.
It’s all a question of attitude. Telemarketers advise their staffs to keep a mirror in front of their phones and to smile into it before dialing potential customers. The theory is that the listener can hear more from the tone of your voice than the words. If you forgot to sign a credit-card application, you would most likely rather learn that “We need your signature in order to process this application.” rather than “You failed to sign the application.”
Feelings
Emotions can easily intrude upon the most simple messages. Some people can send us letters and e-mail messages that are clearly hostile or nasty and tempt us to respond in kind. At times maybe we should. How would you feel if you received this message?
Whose job do you think you can do better? Mine or yours?
Most likely you’d feel like socking the person who sent it. There are certainly people who can push us over the edge of civilized decorum. The question is how to respond to them. In this case, perhaps it’s best not to respond at all. The writer is clearly upset and resentful, perhaps even insecure about something you may have said or suggested. If you receive an unsettling message such as this, do not respond immediately. No matter how justified or outraged you feel, your emotions will get the better of your ability to express your thoughts and, ironically enough, you may end up appearing the aggressor. Perhaps one way to ensure an appropriate tone is to follow the advice of 19th-century English novelist Anthony Trollope, who suggested that there “should be a rule through the letter writing world: that no angry letter be posted till four-and-twenty hours will have elapsed.” Here are additional guidelines:
1. Consider your relationship with the reader. Familiar? Formal? Tense? Friendly? Business?
2. Identify the reader’s likely point of view, needs, expectations, concerns, possible prejudices, attitudes, and interests.
3. Determine the purpose of your message. Is there more than one purpose?
4. Understand how much detail the reader will need (for example, times, dates, names, addresses, telephone, e-mail, fax numbers, or examples) to avoid his or her experiencing frustration, annoyance, or information overload.
5. Ask yourself how much the reader may be interested in the content. What function or value can the message provide in terms of interests, benefits, decision-making, and/or understanding of problems, procedures, or incidents?
6. Avoid a pompous or arrogant tone. In comedy, audiences always appreciate seeing the pompous or arrogant knave slip on that banana peel or receive a whipped-cream pie in the face. Self-importance in writing is also worthy of amusement. Sentences that exhibit a gracious diplomacy usually prove more effective than abrasive ones, intentional or not, which will only alienate your reader.
Instead of:
In the future see to it that this office does not have to remind you to submit your expense vouchers on time.
Write:
Please remember you must submit your expense vouchers on time.
7. Avoid seeming indifferent. Indifference is worse than anger or refusal. For writers, artists, composers, and filmmakers a poor review is usually better than no review. Seeming indifference will never earn your reader’s good graces.
Instead of:
The responsibility for reviewing proposals clearly belongs to our Purchasing Department. This department is interested only in matters concerning safety.
Write:
The Purchasing Department is responsible for reviewing proposals. Our department is limited to administering safety programs.
8. Avoid being offensive or outright insulting. No one appreciates rudeness or being insulted. Even when understood to be in jest, feelings often get rattled or egos can receive a bruising not likely to be soon forgotten.
Never write:
Obviously, your thinking on this issue is so far-fetched and in the twilight zone of incredible absurdity that only a half-wit could understand what you are trying to say.
Instead:
There are some points in your comments (underlined) I would appreciate your clarifying.
Writing Negative Messages to Managers and Executives
When you have to write a negative message upwards to your manager, the vice president, the CEO, or perhaps the board of directors of your company, you naturally feel a considerable degree of anxiety, and no wonder. After all, you want to impress these important readers. You want to be perceived as being intelligent, professional, hardworking, efficient, and highly skillful in conveying your thoughts in writing.
Your reader, on the other hand, is simply interested in obtaining a clear understanding of your main message. How often have you heard these high level readers say: “Just tell me what I need to know in a few sentences or a short paragraph.” In other words, don’t waste my time; it’s too valuable. You, of course, hope beyond hope that you will not become the proverbial victim of the bearer of bad news. So here’s one method for communicating negative tidings and not suffering the wrath of the gods of industry.
1. First, consider your relationship to the reader. Do you have frequent communication or interaction with this individual? Is he or she friendly towards you or at least respectful? How about personality traits or corporate image? Nice? Pompous? Cold? Reserved? Formal? Cheerful? Easy-going? Always stressed? Rude? Overbearing? Impatient? Calm?
2. The more you know or think you know about this higher-level reader, the more confident you may feel in writing to him or her. In any case, use a pleasant or neutral opening sentence. Do not just blurt out the bad news. Proceed with caution, but do proceed.
3. Explain the reasons or provide brief background details surrounding the bad news.
4. State the message directly. Don’t tap dance around the tough issues or message.
5. Then, if possible, suggest optimism for future resolution of the negative issue and close cordially.
Example
TO: Sam Fischer
FROM: George Woodruff
DATE: April 30
SUBJECT: Status of West Palm Research & Development Center
As requested, I have evaluated the current status of construction of the West Palm Research & Development Center. Unusually strong winds and heavy rains resulted in extensive delays in suppliers’ ability to deliver essential materials. As a result, there is only minimal progress to report. The current mild sunny weather and temperature, however, are expected to continue throughout May, during which time considerable progress is expected.
Sunny, Blue-Skies Words
Words have denotative (dictionary) meanings and connotative (suggestive) ones. What often matters in ensuring that your writing conveys a tone appropriate to your purpose is the feeling a particular word invokes in your reader. Advertisers know the value of promising their products and services will offer trouble-free operation or solve your problems or guarantee peace of mind. No computer is ever advertised as slower than the previous model, nor is software touted as nearly impossible for the average person to understand. Hardly. So here is a list of words that will more often than not evoke in your reader’s mind sunny days, blue skies, and soft sandy beaches lined with palm trees or any other pleasant image:
advantage
approval
attractiveness
benefit
beneficial
capable
comfort
commendable
comprehensive
confidence
convenience
cooperation
courtesy
dependable
desirable
distinction
diversity
ease
economy
effective
efficient
enthusiasm
excellence
exceptional
exclusive
genuine
good
guarantee
helpful
honest
humor
improvement
initiative
integrity
intelligence
kind
lasting
merit
notable
opportunity
popular
practical
prominent
reliable
responsible
satisfaction
value
Stormy-Weather Words
Just as all days do not have to be sunny, so too does tone not have to be always positive. There are times when you will need to write a negative memo or e-mail; letter of complaint; poor evaluation of an employee, product, or service; or response to unjustified criticism. Then you will want to use the list that follows. (Just remember that when you use these words, you should do so intentionally.)
alleged
blame
careless
cheap
collusion
commonplace
deadlock
discredit
disgusting
disreputable
disrupt
embarrassing
erroneous
exaggerate
extravagant
fail
failure
fault
fiasco
flagrant
implicate
impossible
insolvent
irritation
meager
mediocre
misfortune
neglectful
negligence
obstinate
opinionated
oversight
premature
rude
squander
superficial
The Tone Is You
Writers of fiction strive to find a truthful balance between life as it is lived and as it is imagined. Tone demands a balancing act of words as well. Just remember that whatever you write will have your name on it. People who have never met or spoken with you will learn quite a bit about you simply from the tone of your voice and words.