|CHAPTER 8|
Vary from Announce to Discuss
“When you run General Electric, there are 7 to 12 times a year when you have to say, ‘you’re doing it my way.’ If you do it 18 times, the good people will leave. If you do it 3 times, the company falls apart.”
“I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time, and prevents arguments.”
When You Make an Announcement, Be Clear: This Decision Is Nonnegotiable
Some of us are confused, both at work and at home, about which decisions are open for debate and which aren’t. The first is a discussion; the second, an announcement.
When my son was little, he often heard everything I said as a discussion. The statement “Go to bed right now—before I call the POLICE!” was, for my son, simply an opening gambit.
Announcements are different from discussions; they should look, sound, and feel different.2 As a leader, it’s easy to get tripped up; you might overuse one mode or send out confusing signals about which mode you’re in.
Firing someone is an announcement. You wouldn’t say, “George, suppose, just for argument’s sake, we asked you to turn in your badge, pack up your desk, and get the hell out of here—would that be terribly inconvenient?”
One night, I told my son, in no uncertain terms, to go upstairs and brush his teeth. I thought it was an announcement. But he stood his ground: “You are not the boss of me,” he said.
“Who is the boss of you?” I wondered. Maybe I could call that person for advice.
And yet, I wasn’t overly concerned. Bedtime struggles, I figured, fell into the category of problems that solve themselves. This issue would disappear with age and maturity.
My wife was dubious: “Age and maturity? How much older do you need to be?” The problem, she implied in a very subtle Why are you not getting this, you idiot? sort of way, was with me. I needed to be more of a boss.
Fair enough. And so, as I aged and matured, I grew more comfortable with authority. Eventually, I was able to get my son to bed without even mentioning the police . . .
Whether you announce or discuss, be clear which one you’re doing.
(For more, please see Command, page 146.)
When You Make an Announcement, Explain the “Why”
To build trust, it’s not enough to announce what you’re doing, even if what you’re doing is right. You need to explain why it’s right. For example:
8:30 a.m. My wife and I park our car, carry our bikes onto a “bike bus,” and hang them from ceiling hooks. The bus goes to the Martha’s Vineyard ferry, which leaves soon, at 9:30 a.m.
The bus driver looks unhappy about having actual passengers. “I won’t be departing till 9:10,” she announces. Her tone implies, “Don’t get your hopes up. Life is disappointing.”
By 8:50, the bus is full of restless passengers and dangling bikes. “Why are we leaving so late?” asks a passenger.
“Because I’ve been doing this job for 12 years and that’s when we’re leaving,” the driver says. In other words, Don’t question my authority.
“How long does it take to get to the dock?” I ask.
The bus driver looks at my wife: “Tell your husband to relax. We’ll be there by 9:17—trust me.”
Ok. But that only leaves 13 minutes to remove a busload of bikes and luggage, buy ferry tickets, and board the boat.
For this plan to work, everyone will need to be extremely caffeinated. I wonder if there’s any way, in the next few minutes, for each passenger to drink at least 10–20 cups of coffee.
The bus gets quiet as we wait. “I’m surprised there’s not more conversation,” the bus driver says.
“We’re afraid of you,” says a passenger.
9:10 a.m. We’re off! The bus barrels down the narrow road at breakneck speed. The bikes swing recklessly from above, luggage flies off the rack, passengers cling to their seats.
It’s the most exciting bus ride I’ve ever been on!
“Don’t they have any speed limits in the U.S.?” gasps a Canadian woman who’s bouncing up and down next to us.
“This whole trip is stupid,” says her friend. “I just want to go home.”
At 9:17 a.m., we arrive at the dock. Thirteen minutes later, we’re on the ferry. The bus driver, it turns out, was right about the math. But wrong about expecting us to trust her.
Maybe there was a good reason for the 9:10 departure. Maybe she knew the ferry would wait, no matter when we arrived. But why not say that?
“I’ll never get on a bus with that driver again,” says the Canadian woman.
“I just want to go home,” says her friend.
To Increase Your Influence, Give Away Some Control
On my way home from work, my wife sometimes phones: “Is there any way you could possibly pick up some milk?” she asks.
I know right away that I’m headed for the supermarket. But my wife has a sweet way of asking—she gives me the illusion of control. I don’t even drink milk, but I support the concept.
No one likes being told what to do, so people who are skilled influencers avoid overusing the announcement or “tell” mode.
On the other hand, suppose you’ve made a nonnegotiable decision: “We need vast quantities of low fat, farm fresh milk in this house right away!”
Well, most decisions are multi-dimensional: there’s a what, how, when, where, and who. Can you find somewhere to flex?
Recently, for example, I was working with a manager who needed to send someone to a client meeting in North Dakota. It was winter, North Dakota was cold. No one wanted to go.
The manager knew the what (meet client), how (face-to-face), and where (North Dakota). Those things were nonnegotiable, but everything else was flexible. She really didn’t care who went, or when, whether this week or next.
So she threw the problem out to her staff and let them decide. They decided to draw straws after work, over a drink.
Probably not milk.
When Discussing a Problem, Let the Other Person Talk First
My wife and I were having dinner at a Boston seafood restaurant that we like a lot, for the main reason that we’ve never had a bad meal there, or been poisoned.
I ordered fisherman’s stew and immediately felt buyer’s remorse, although I appreciate the idea of being a fisherman. My wife ordered grilled shrimp and a baked potato.
Time passed. The waitress stopped by for a visit and to “explain the story about what happened to your dinner.” Sounded ominous. Still, I enjoy a good story as much as the next fisherman.
“Your fisherman’s stew has been ready for some time,” she said, “but someone stole the grilled shrimp for another table.” Not good news. I was especially discouraged about the stew: Was there something wrong with it? How come no one wanted to steal it?
More time passed. When the food arrived, the baked potato was cold, and the broth from the stew had evaporated or, I could only hope, been stolen.
A manager stopped by to check on things. We told her the story about dinner. She looked sad.
“What would you like me to do?” she asked.
We didn’t have anything particular in mind.
“All right,” she said. “How about we pay for your dinner?”
We didn’t argue. She still looked sad.
“Also, I’m also going to wrap up two complimentary desserts— pumpkin cheesecake and Boston cream pie.”
Completely unnecessary, we said. But we accepted the gift anyway, in the interest of cheering her up . . .
The next time you talk to someone about a problem, don’t be too fast to offer, or insist on, your solution. While it’s good to have some suggestions in mind, try letting the other person go first.
p.s. If possible, avoid fisherman’s stew. Substitute pumpkin cheesecake.
Announce or Discuss?
Announce when:
• The matter is nonnegotiable (due to laws, safety concerns, company policies, etc.).
• It’s an emergency—there’s no time to discuss.
• You have expertise, others don’t.
• You need the buy-in of others.
• The matter is more important to others than to you.
• Others have as much knowledge and experience as you do. Or their complete lack of experience gives them a fresh perspective.
And you have more than two options.
Imagine, for example, you’re a military commander. Consider these options (they go from more control to less):
1.Announce (high control): “We need to take the hill! Now!”
2. Announce, plus explain “why”: “We need to take the hill now. Because otherwise, we’re all going to DIE.”
3.Announce the goal, but discuss the means (moderate control): “We need to take the hill now. What’s the best way to do that?”
4.Discuss others’ ideas, and then you decide: “I think we should take the hill. But I’d like to hear other suggestions before I decide.”
5.Discuss others’ ideas, and then they decide (low control): “How would you like to spend the afternoon? I suppose we could take the hill. But it’s really up to you . . .”
If you’re going to discuss, you need to ask smart questions. That’s next.