|CHAPTER 11|
Act As If
“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.”
—WILLIAM JAMES, psychologist
“I said, ‘I don’t think I can give you that kind of emotion.’ And he [Hitchcock] sat there and said, ‘Ingrid, fake it!’ Well, that was the best advice I’ve had in my whole life.”
—INGRID BERGMAN, actress
What’s the opposite of executive presence?
Executive absence. Here’s what absence sounds like if, for example, you’re giving a presentation. You begin with excuses:
“I’m not very good at this,” you might say. “And I didn’t receive the PowerPoint slides until a few minutes ago, and right after that, the entire left side of my body went completely numb.”
The message: “Audience, don’t expect too much. In fact, let’s not focus on you at all. Let’s worry about me.”
Imagine if other professionals did this:
Pilot to passengers: “Gosh, this is the first time I’ve ever flown such a big plane. Our flight today may be a little jumpy. God knows, I am.”
Doctor to patient: “Cover your mouth, and stop coughing so much. I’m just getting over a horrible stomach virus. I really feel gross—much worse than this stupid thing you’ve got.”
U.S. President to country: “I’ve never given a State of the Union address before, and my schedule has been crazy busy, no rest at all, not even for a second. This is, by far, the worst job I’ve ever had. So please don’t ask, ‘How are things going in the USA?’ I really have no idea.”
What do doctors, pilots, and presidents have in common? Acting.
“There have been times in this office,” Ronald Reagan said, “when I’ve wondered how you could do the job if you hadn’t been an actor.”1
But we’re not talking about professional acting. We’re talking about “acting as if,” a powerful idea first promoted by William James (often called “the father of American psychology”), then later popularized as “fake it till you make it.”
Years ago, a men’s fashion magazine took some homeless men and gave them a complete makeover. Dressed up, the men looked like executives.
That’s “acting as if,” and that’s roughly the same process you and I go through every morning when we struggle out of bed.
We need to suit up.
President Reagan’s Best Joke
The remarkable thing was not the joke, but Reagan’s timing.
The 69th day of his presidency, he’d been shot—the bullet was an inch from his heart—and he was telling his wife about the assassination attempt.
“Honey, I forgot to duck,” he said, a line first used by boxer Jack Dempsey after losing a fight.
If someone shot me, I’m not sure I’d respond by joking around.
Sometimes I complain if I have a head cold or if my back is a little stiff, so I can’t see being overly cheerful if there were a bullet lodged near my heart.
Also there’s the trauma. Someone shot me! With a gun! At the very least, my feelings would be hurt.
But not Reagan. He refused to look or act distressed—that’s what his humor said. “I hope you’re all Republicans,” he joked with the surgeons.
Ok, so he wasn’t hysterically funny. But the surgeons must have been impressed by his presence.
So was the country—Reagan’s approval rating soared to 73%.
Confidence: Avoid These Three Mistakes
Mistake #1: Assuming you know what’s going on inside others.
Suppose at the next leadership offsite, your CEO stands up and then, in a commanding voice, sings out the quarterly financials.
You’re impressed. And yet, you know nothing about the CEO’s inner experience. He could be extremely confident, or extremely nervous, or extremely insane.
Mistake #2: Assuming others know what’s going on inside you.
Let’s say you’re at a meeting, feeling stressed. But if your heart is pounding, others can’t hear it. And if you’ve got butterflies in your belly, others can’t see them.
Often, the only reason others know you’re nervous is because you feel compelled to tell everyone.
Don’t.
Mistake #3: Assuming you should feel as confident inside as others appear outside.
“Stop comparing your insides to others’ outsides.”
That’s my favorite line (paraphrased) from a novel about a U.S. President whose physician vanishes.2 Then the President has a psychotic episode, which, to me, just seemed like a predictable reaction to bad health care.
When I work with business leaders, they’re often surprised to discover a basic truth: You can act confident without feeling confident.
And if you act confident enough times, eventually the feeling will show up.
Don’t wait.