INDEX
A
AAR. See After action review
Adversity and crisis. See also Trauma
benefit-finding exercise after, 119
character building nature of, x, 1–6, 8, 10–11, 37, 248–249, 261–262
gratitude role in handling, 248
hiring interview questions on, 69
as noncognitive factor of success, 12
organization decentralization during, 242
resilience in face of, 103–104, 108, 111, 114–117
service to others during, 114–115
virtue practiced during, x–xi, 17, 52–53
African Americans. See Black people
After action review (AAR), 92, 97, 98–100
Allport, Gordon, 186, 194–195, 201
Anger, 2, 35–36, 109, 200, 207–209, 214–215, 247
Anxiety, 15–16, 96–97, 146–147
Areté (excellence), ix, 22, 262, 268
Aristotle, 7, 22, 23, 49–50, 235, 247, 262, 266
Arrogance, 42, 97, 166, 223–225, 245
Asian Americans, 190–191
B
Barrett, Lisa Feldman, 150–151
Belonging, sense of, 131–134, 139–142, 187, 192–197
Bias, 22, 67–69, 118, 187–190, 200
Black people, 3, 187, 190–193, 200–201. See also Apartheid
Bonanno, George, 112
Brain function. See Neurology
C
Calmness. See Temperance
Cannon, Walter, 105
Character, xii
adversity building, x, 1–6, 8, 10–11, 37, 248–249, 261–262
affluence obstacle in building, 8
coaching goal of, 221–222
competence valued after, ix, 7, 60–62, 166
hiring consideration of, 60–64, 166
kids taught to value, over achievement, 145–147
noncognitive skills relation to, 11–12, 63–64
in teamwork and organizational culture, 10–11, 62–63
wisdom around growth of, 37–38
Children and parenting. See also Schools
character emphasis over achievement in, 145–147
growth mindset and, 148–150
learning patterns, recognition and reworking of, 150–153
mistakes and failure acceptance for, 148–149, 153, 159
restorative practices around, 156–158, 159
swim buddy and trusted-advisor system for, 153–155
technology habits and, 236–238
virtue self-assessment questions and, 121, 149–150, 267–268
Christakis, Nicholas, 21
Christensen, Clayton, 170, 183
Cleveland Clinic, 125–126, 138, 141, 143, 163, 173–174
Coaching
arrogance-humility spectrum relation to, 223–225
benefits of, 217–219
challenges and obstacles, 219–220, 222–223
defining role of, 220–221
DE&I, 190–191
features of effective, 84, 228–230
goals of, 221–222
habits creation with, 246
noncognitive skills and, 221–222
sports, 75–77, 217–218, 224, 246
Comfort, 13–14, 104, 105, 163, 238. See also Discomfort
Commitment. See Grit
Compassion
catch phrase for, 55
COVID-19 pandemic and, 29, 254
engagement impacted by, 28, 29, 55, 127–128
evolutionary theories and, 162–163
innovation and, 164, 170, 172, 173–174, 183
organizational culture and, 28, 234
service to others over self with, 27–28, 43, 259
trauma transformed with, 3–4
Competence, character over, ix, 7, 60–62, 166
Courage, 267
catch phrase for, 55
conditions for virtuous, 30
grit relation to, 67
innovation and, 164, 167, 175, 178, 183
lack of, demonstrations of, 44
medical professional example of, 31–32
neurology and hormones role in, 30–31
under pressure, 33
as relative to each person, 29, 43
vulnerability role in, 32, 43, 230
COVID-19 pandemic, x, 169, 249
human folly and successes during, 138–139, 252, 259
job loss protection during, 125–126
leaders response to, 116, 262–263
medical professionals during, 125–126, 163, 173–174, 259, 261, 262–263
resilience and, 103–104, 114–117
virtue-based organizational culture during, 52–53
Crisis. See Adversity and crisis
Culture. See Organizational culture
D
Deci, Edward, 126
DE&I. See Diversity, equity, and inclusion
Discomfort, normalizing, x, 13–19
Diversity, equity, and inclusion (DE&I)
advocate mindset in, 200–202
anti-bias training around, 189–190
contact hypothesis and, 186, 194–195
cultural groupings and, 195–196
empathy role in, 199–200
explorer mindset in, 198–199
in hiring, 192
incarceration story about creating, 185–186
psychological safety role in, 191, 196
in schools, 200–201
shared stories creating, 194–195
short-term programs impact on, 188–189
statistics on, 186–187
stereotypes and, 186–187, 194, 201–202
tools and trainings for, 189–192, 197–198, 203–205
Dodson, John, 15
Doudna, Jennifer, 49
Drucker, Peter, 91, 134–135, 161, 164, 242
E
Edmans, Alex, 25
Edmondson, Amy, 94
EDWINS, 1–3
Eger, Edith “Edie,” 1, 3–6, 36–38, 110, 113, 116, 210
Empathy
DE&I and, 199–200
impacts of practicing, 50, 117, 172
incarceration stories and, 3–4, 185–186, 200
PTG cultivation and, 113
Engagement
compassion impact on, 28, 29, 55, 127–128
deficit-based thinking obstacle for, 136–137
definition and facts of, 128–131
drivers of, 55, 65–66, 127–128, 132–133
financial reward relation to, 126–127, 137–138
job crafting and, 137–138, 140–143
job loss protection example and, 125–126
making a difference role in, 137–138, 140–143
purpose clarity impacting, 78, 81, 86–89, 91, 127, 143, 171–175
relevance and strengths-based approach in, 130–131, 134–137, 142
remote-based work, 174
sense of belonging and, 131–134, 139–140, 141–142, 187
tools and conversation for increasing, 139–143
in virtue-based organizational culture, 7, 8, 9, 55–56, 122, 138
Entitlement, 8, 115, 166, 200, 243, 245
Equity. See Diversity, equity, and inclusion
Ericsson, Anders, 242–243, 244
Erikson, Erik, 240–241
Excellence (areté), ix, 22, 262, 268
F
Failure. See Mistakes and failure
innovation relation to, 32–33, 178–182, 183
reality compared future imaginings, 84, 108–109, 110, 118
selfishness reaction in, 114–115
“worst case” questions in dealing with, 84, 118–119
engagement relation to, 126–127, 137–138
innovation and, 166–167, 181–182
virtue-based organizational culture impact on, 28, 52–53
Fink, Laurence, 171–172
Force field analysis model, 50–51
Forgiveness, 122
in face of injustice, 3–4, 35–36, 200, 208–209
leaders skills in, 209–210
neurology of, 214–215
relationship restoration and, 36, 209–210, 213–214
Frankl, Viktor, 5, 19, 42–43, 113
Friedman, Thomas, 101
Friedman Doctrine, 171
G
Gandhi, Mahatma, 36, 187, 193, 210
Gawande, Atul, 217–218
Gittell, Jody, 79–80
Giving nature and practice, 64–65, 71
Gratitude, 42, 65–66, 72, 242–249
Greeks, ancient, xiii, 222, 251, 270
Aristotle, 7, 22, 23, 49–50, 235, 247, 262, 266
on failure of will, 238
on gratitude, 65
virtues according to, ix, 22, 24, 103, 256–257
Growth mindset
children taught to develop, 148–150
goals viewed with, 90
intelligence malleability and, 147–148
neuroplasticity relation to, 242
“not yet” thinking with, 66, 91, 149
research and example of, 56, 66–67
self-assessment of, 71–72
wisdom relation to, 37–38
Grudges, 119, 207–210, 215, 245
H
Habits
balanced life and, 240–241
coaches role in creating, 246
failure of will role in, 238–240
forming, overview of, 233–235
gratitude practice impact on, 65, 242–249
of innovation, 167–170
neurology and, 23, 90, 105, 235–238, 266–267
self-reflection on, 246, 267–268
technology-related, 39, 236–240, 244
toolkit, 247–249
virtue cultivated through, 6, 22–24, 49–50, 167, 234, 236, 238–239, 262, 266–268
Hinton, Anthony Ray, 1, 3–4, 6, 19, 200
Hiring
4Gs performance virtues consideration in, 63–67
combating bias in, 67–69
credentials and priorities, 59, 60–67, 166
DE&I considerations in, 192
interview question examples, 68–69
Hispanic Americans, 187, 190–191
Hoban, Jack, 34
Holocaust, 1, 4–5, 19, 42, 113
Homeostasis, 104, 105, 163, 238
Ho’oponopono, 122
Hope, 267–268
in adversity and crisis, 40–41, 42
catch phrase for, 55
as engagement driver, 132–133
gratitude relation to, 42
lack of, impacts, 45
learning and choosing, 41–43
resilience and, 118
Humility, 7, 42, 97, 116, 139, 223–225, 243, 245
Humphrey, Robert, 34–35
I
Incarcerated adults, 1–4, 156–157, 185–186, 200
Inclusion. See Diversity, equity, and inclusion
Injustices, reaction to, 3–4, 8, 35–36, 200, 208–209
Innovation
compassion role in, 164, 170, 172, 173–174, 183
courage necessary for, 164, 167, 175, 178, 183
discovery characteristics and habits of, 167–170
fear role in, 32–33, 178–182, 183
financial ends and, 166–167, 181–182
growth contrasted with operational structure for, 175–178
organizational culture and, 161–162, 170–175
risk consideration in, 164–166, 178–182, 183
social capital impact for, 170
teamwork and, 162–163, 180–181
training, 166–167
trust role in, 163–164, 168, 169, 170
Intelligence, 37, 63–64, 145, 147–148, 155
Isaacson, Walter, 49
J
James, William, 22
Job crafting, 137–138, 140–143
Job satisfaction, 126–127. See also Engagement
catch phrase for, 55
ego obstacles in, 33
injustices response and, 3–4, 8, 35–36, 200, 208–209
military approach to, 34–35, 211–214
restorative, 156–158, 159, 210–214
K
Kahneman, Daniel, 50, 133, 233–234
Kennedy, John F., 198–199
Kids. See Children and parenting; Schools
Kim, Jonny, 10–11
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 40, 145, 187, 193
L
COVID-19 response from, 116, 262–263
dark-triangle, 165–166
feedback sought by, 69–70, 219
forgiveness skills of, 209–210
listening and inquiry skills for, 86–87, 134
Plato’s Academy approach to, 24
poll on qualities desired of, 132
strengths-based approach of, 83–85, 130–131, 134–136, 269
virtuous, xiii, 27, 53–54, 256–257
Lewin, Kurt, 50
Listening skills, 86–87, 134, 141, 227–228
Logos-mythos thinking and tools, 251–254, 257, 259, 268
M
Mandela, Nelson, 119, 185, 194, 211
Maslow, Abraham, 22
McKenzie, Lesley, 25–26
Medical professionals
Cleveland Clinic, 125–126, 138, 141, 143, 163, 173–174
courage example, 31–32
COVID-19 and, 125–126, 163, 173–174, 259, 261, 262–263
deficit-based thinking obstacle for, 136–137
engagement example with, 138
job crafting example of, 141, 143
teamwork approach and training for, 80–82
conflict deescalation training and, 34–35
justice approach in, 34–35, 211–214
PTSD experience for, 111–112
training approach for, 10–11, 34–35, 38, 75–78
Mistakes and failure
arrogance and, 224
children taught to handle, 148–149, 153, 159
failure of will with habits and, 238–240
innovation and fear of, 32–33, 183
learning from, 7, 65, 76, 105–106, 121
“not yet” thinking about, 66, 91, 149
Motivation, 12, 39–40, 56, 94, 96–97, 132
Mythos-logos thinking and tools, 251–254, 257, 259, 268
N
Narcissism, x, 9, 127, 135, 165, 245, 259
Navy SEALs, 4, 10–11, 38, 75–77, 91
Neurology
of anger and forgiveness, 214–215
courage and, 30–31
of criticism, 219–220
habits and, 23, 90, 105, 235–238, 267–288
of homeostasis, 104, 105, 163, 238
hope and, 41
neuroplasticity, 23, 215, 233, 235–238, 270
of resilience, 105–106
stress and, 106
Noncognitive skills, 11–12, 19, 63–64, 221–222
O
Organizational culture
assessment of, 47–48
change obstacles and drivers in, 50–52
character impact on, 10–11, 62–63
innovation and, 161–162, 170–175
psychological safety in, 92, 94–97, 99, 100
pull rather than push strategy in, 51, 54, 146, 258, 268–269
purpose clarity and action role in, 78, 81, 88–89, 91, 127, 143, 171–175
virtue as metric in assessment of, 28, 47–48, 53–54
virtue-based, cultivation of, 7–8, 48–49, 52–55, 57, 268–269
virtue-based, engagement in, 7, 8, 9, 55–56, 122, 138
virtue-based, language around, 54–55, 255–256, 262–263, 266
P
Parenting. See Children and parenting
Parker Hannifin, 8, 28, 128, 163, 234
Performance. See specific topics
Post-traumatic growth (PTG), 19, 112–113, 248
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), 19, 110–111, 113
Pressure
anxiety declining benefits of, 15–16
courage under, 33
default to training under, 38, 75–78, 103, 120, 260
leaning into discomfort of, 14–16
self-discovery question on virtue in, 45
sports, performing under, 14, 75–76, 260
temperance under, 38–39
tools for dealing with, 17–18
Prisons. See Incarcerated adults
Pro-social behaviors, 17, 19, 21–22, 88, 104, 118, 131
Psychological safety. See Safety
PTG. See Post-traumatic growth
PTSD. See Post-traumatic stress disorder
Purpose
clarity and engagement around, 78, 81, 88–89, 91, 127, 143, 171–175
financial success and sense of, 91
PTG cultivation and, 113
R
Relationships
constructive over destructive communication in, 120
focus on empowering, 121
forgiveness in restoration of, 36, 209–210, 213–214
loneliness and lack of strong, 14
priority, over performance, 265–266
PTG cultivation and, 113
resilience and role of, 104, 106, 107–108, 118
self-discovery question on virtue in, 45
sports performance and, 12–13
teamwork focus on building, 78, 79–82, 88, 92, 94, 97, 101
trauma survival relation to, 19, 111
virtue cultivation impact on, 7–8
well-being impacted by, 107, 266
Resilience
benefit-finding exercise for, 119
as coaching goal, 221–222
during crisis and adversity, 103–104, 108, 111, 114–117
fear and, 108–109
growth mindset role in, 112, 114–115
neurology behind, 105–106
reason factor in, 104, 109–110, 118
regulation/feelings of safety role in, 104, 105–106, 118
relationships factor in, 104, 106, 107–108, 118
service to others role in, 110–111, 119
stress, 110
studies on human, 19
tools for building, 118–122
training, 103–104
trauma and, 1–6, 19, 110–117, 118
Restorative practices, 156–158, 159, 210–214
Risk, 18, 30, 32–33, 67, 164–166, 178–182, 183
Robben Island prison, 185–186
Roof, Dylann, 208–209
S
Safety, 242
DE&I and psychological, 191, 196
evolution and, 163
neurology of fear and, 108–109, 247
resilience relation to feelings of, 104, 105–106, 118
teamwork and psychological, 92, 94–97, 99, 100, 262
Schools
DE&I in, 200–201
growth mindset in, 148
kindness over metrics in, 22, 257–258
restorative practices in, 156–158, 159
student patterns in, 150–153
virtues taught and studied in, 145–147, 256–258
Self-discovery and self-assessments
of 4Gs performance virtues, 71–73, 149–150
coaching promoting, 229
on gratitude, 72
narcissism obstacle to, 9
questions, 45, 121–122, 267–268
virtues, 23–24, 45, 71–73, 121–122, 149–150, 267–268
Selfishness, 114–115, 162, 165–166
Selye, Hans, 16
Service to others
compassion and, 27–28, 43, 259
crisis response and, 114–115
resilience relation to, 110–111, 119
teamwork purpose clarity and, 88, 91
Singleton, Chris, 208–209
South African apartheid, 40–41, 185–186
Spiegel, Elizabeth, 153
Sports
coaching in, 75–77, 217–218, 224, 246
performing under pressure in, 14, 75–76, 260
relationships role in success in, 12–13
trust cultivation in, 25–26
Stanier, Michael, 226
Staples, Brent, 200–201
Steele, Claude, 201
Stereotypes, 186–187, 194, 201–202
Strengths, leveraging, 78, 83–85, 94, 130–131, 134–137, 142, 269
Stress, 16–19, 45, 106, 109–111, 113
T
Teachers. See Coaching; Schools; Training
Teamwork, 234
adversity experience and, 10–11, 77
assessment tools, 82, 85, 87, 89, 92, 95–96
character role in, 10–11, 62–63
chartering role in, 86
DE&I example in, 203–205
forgiveness skills and, 209–211, 214
hiring interview questions on, 68
innovation and, 162–163, 180–181
job crafting applied in, 142–143
medical professionals approach to, 80–82
Navy SEALs approach to, 10–11, 75–78
negotiation training for, 81
psychological safety and, 92, 94–97, 99, 100, 262
purpose clarity and engagement for, 78, 81, 86–89, 91, 173–175
relationship building in, 78, 79–82, 88, 92, 94, 97, 101
results delivery in, 78, 90–92
self-assessments around, 45, 93–96
selfishness overcome by virtuous, 165–166
strengths-based focus for, 78, 83–85, 94, 130–131, 135–136
survival relation to, 21
trust building for, 76–79, 92–95, 97, 99–100
Technology, 39, 49, 77, 138–139, 236–240, 244, 251–253
Temperance, 268
catch phrase for, 55
lack of, impacts, 44
in pressure response, 38–39
remote-based work and, 169
self-assessment of, 72
tools for practicing, 39–40
training for, 38
Training
anti-bias, 187, 188, 189–190, 200
default to, under pressure, 38, 75–78, 103, 120, 260
DE&I, 189–192, 197–198, 203–205
innovation, 166–167
military, 10–11, 34–35, 38, 75–78
Navy SEALs teamwork, 10–11, 75–77
negotiation, 81
resilience, 103–104
virtue, example of, 53–54
Trauma
big T or small t, understanding, 114–117
compassion transforming, 3–4
relationships role in dealing with, 19, 111
resiliency and, 1–6, 19, 110–117, 118
self-discovery question on virtue in, 45
building and restoring, 26–27, 76–79, 92–95, 97, 99–100, 157–158
Edelman’s Trust Barometer for measuring, 49
innovation and, 163–164, 168, 169, 170
in leaders, importance, 25–26, 97
organizational culture and, 49, 52, 54, 55
performance relation to, evidence on, 25–26
relationship strength and, 26, 43
V
Values, 253–255
Virtues, seven classical, xii, 8
Virtue/virtues. See also specific virtues and topics
4Gs performance, defining and recognizing, 63–67, 71–73, 149–150
ancient Greeks on, ix, 22, 24, 103, 256–257
deliberate practice of, x–xi, 17, 52–53, 118, 266–268, 270
habits role in cultivating, 6, 22–24, 49–50, 167, 234, 236, 238–239, 266–268
imperfections mixed with, 9–10, 48, 91, 128, 214, 259
obstacles to practicing, 8, 9–10, 33
in poll on qualities desired of leaders, 132
as priority before performance, x, 7, 53, 60–61, 258–259
self-assessment work on, 23–24, 45, 71–73, 121–122, 149–150, 267–268
universal/cross-cultural nature of, 8–9, 56, 203
values relationship to, 253–255
Voice of the customer (VOC), 53, 168, 179–180, 181
Vulnerability, 26, 32, 43, 113, 224–225, 230
W
White supremacy, 4, 200, 208–209
Wilson, E. O., 138, 162, 165–166, 252
Wisdom, 36–38, 44, 55, 72, 164, 169, 268
Y
Yerkes, Robert, 15