INTRODUCTION

Why Bridging Differences Matters

We each bring who we are to our mentoring relationships. Yet “who we are” is composed of several elements: the person we see ourselves as, the person our mentoring partners see us as, and the unique cultural lens through which we view the world and the way it works. “Who we are” is determined by the many factors that shape our identity, culture, and worldview.

Unless you are working in a highly homogeneous organization, you will encounter visible and not-so-visible differences between who you are and who your mentoring partner is. The potential minefields for mentoring relationships are everywhere if we fail to adequately acknowledge and explore those differences in a way that promotes learning and satisfaction for both partners. Recognizing, understanding, and bridging these differences is crucial to a successful mentoring relationship. So often, we see “difference” not as belonging to us but to someone else. When we call someone “different,” that makes us “normal.” When each of us sees the other as “different,” it pushes us apart and disconnects us. The truth is that there is no normal. Our differences rest between us, not within us. And because of this, the title of this book, Bridging Differences, is meant quite literally:

» A bridge is a structure that connects two distinct things.

» A bridge requires a solid foundation in order to stand securely.

» A bridge requires work, time, strategy, and focus to build.

» Building a bridge requires the help of other people. It is an active process involving connections, bonding, and collaboration; working together, we build a newer and richer mutual understanding.

When we don’t understand the need to bridge the differences between us, we miss out on the richness those differences can bring to our relationships and we significantly limit the impact of our mentoring. What’s more, if we don’t take the time to build the skills needed to bridge these differences, we create conflict and misunderstanding, widening gaps instead of narrowing them. When we understand how to bridge differences, our mentoring relationships are better, our outcomes are better, and our organizations benefit from the differences between us. This benefit is clear, and it has caught the attention of growing numbers of employers. Increasingly, organizations are redefining mentorship to advance diversity and inclusion—and for good reason: diversity increases successful outcomes and grows the bottom line. According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, “Organizations with inclusive cultures are six times more likely to be innovative and agile, eight times more likely to achieve better business outcomes, and twice as likely to meet or exceed financial targets.”²

Organizations with inclusive cultures actively pursue cultural competency—the skill that enables effective understanding and communication across the differences inherent in a diverse group of people. When cultural competency informs mentoring, learning is elevated, engagement and communication are enhanced, achievement of learning goals is accelerated, and relationships deepen. Whether you are a mentor or a mentee, bridging the differences between you and your partner—leaning forward into difference, learning from it, and leveraging it—allows you both to experience the promise and full potential of mentoring.