CHAPTER 6

Strengthen Your Immunity: Self-Care, Self-Kind, Self-Full. Nourish It.

Your self-care is your superpower; cultivate the heck out of it—love yourself up.

You’ve claimed; you’ve intended; you’ve laid your foundation for good IEP. It’s time to strengthen your immunity against negative contagions and create even more space and resiliency to navigate this big life. In Contagious Culture I covered some concepts around self-care and continue to receive many questions and requests pointing to some of the biggest cultural stories we make up about self-care and “building our fields.” I found this is a topic that people wanted to hear more about. These questions and requests have led to this chapter as well as additional practices to support your Internal IEP.

First things first. Building your immunity and being positively contagious does not mean you are “fake” or “ra, ra, sis boom bah!” or “up” or “positive” or “high vibration” or “happy” all the time. It does mean you have self-awareness and self-efficacy to choose how to respond and show up when you’re not feeling “up” or when you need support. It means that you give yourself full permission to be real, have your experience, learn from that experience, and get help where needed. And it means you’re “response-able” for working your stuff out (in a safe space with the appropriate people where you aren’t vomiting out your issues or taking them out on your team). Building your immunity is essential for all of this.

Building our immunity requires self-care, vulnerability, and courage—it requires we do our work. When we do our work we have greater access to ourselves and a fuller range of emotions. With this access we increase our capacity to hold space for ourselves, for others, and for their range of emotions. Our ability to lead and influence others is highly dependent on the quality of space we can hold. And here’s the thing: we can only lead someone as far as we are able to go ourselves. Add to this that it’s easy to get clobbered by another’s negative energy—and we have unlimited reasons to build our immunity.

You’ll notice in this work we’re talking about managing you—and the energy you bring. We’re also talking about managing others—and the energy coming at you from them. Managing other people is where it’s especially helpful to build immunity and consciousness. Building our immunity is not about being impenetrable, numb, or fake—it’s about being stronger and more resilient so we can help others and do more good. Therefore, self-care is not about being selfish or luxurious—it is generous response-able leadership.

Self-Care Is a Leadership Skill

Every time I lead a session or meet with a new client, I know we will likely be addressing at least two main themes: (1) unlocking new levels of leadership and influence capacity and (2) reframing self-care from being a selfish luxury into a self-full, nonnegotiable necessity and skill.

These two desires—lead well and take care—are often held as mutually exclusive and working against each other when really they need each other. One cannot survive without the other.

Impact needs self-care for power and sustainability. Self-care needs impact for power and inspiration.

If we’re keeping score, impact needs self-care more than self-care needs impact because you can’t be truly (or sustainably) impactful if you are exhausted or burnt out. As one of our participants put it to me last year after a team member had died of a heart attack, “Forget about us not leading at our best if we’re burnt out—we can’t lead if we’re dead.”

If I’m connected to my intention for the impact I want to have (and why), I’m likely more inspired to take care of myself. I’m less inclined to disregard my well-being or eat junk food or skip my workout or compromise my sleep and personal space if I know that my performance and how I show up for the people I lead depends on me being physically, mentally, and spiritually fully resourced.

Self-care becomes not only essential but one of the most generous things I can do. Not only does it strengthen my immunity and protect me against what I’ve come to call “leadership depression,” but it keeps me physically capable of doing what I’m here to do. Think of the last time you flew. The pilot made the usual announcement that if there is an issue in flight and the oxygen masks drop, you should put your mask on yourself first and then attend to those around you, including your own children. Why? Because if you’re passed out or dead, you’re of no use to anyone around you. Leadership and self-care are no different.

Self-Care as a Critical Conversation

This past year in almost every room I’ve been in, there is at least one person who’s recently lost someone to an unexpected early death. The majority of causes? Heart attack, cancer, and suicide. I don’t think it has to be this way. I do think the way we tend to self-care, preventative health, and mental health does need a big up-leveling. We’ve come a long way in awareness, disease prevention, stress management solutions, bio-hacking, workplace Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), the science of well-being, and even having these conversations to begin with. I am wildly optimistic. And we have to keep talking about it, and putting our well-being at the top of the priority list just as we prioritize business and financial results, impact on others, and anything else we want to create.

Fortunately, we’re seeing more and more organizations and leaders putting a greater value on mindfulness, self-care, and well-being. Why? Because aside from up-leveling leadership skills and creating a better culture, more importantly, no one wants a burnt-out workforce, an exhausted partner, or another premature death or suicide. No leaders want to have their employees on disability due to depression or illness because people are overwhelmed or not taking care of themselves. Sure, the business results from getting “in front of this” and addressing it proactively are great, the culture optimization is lovely, but we’re talking about livelihood and life.

Self-Care Is Not What You Think

I used to think that self-care was a “thing” you did. What I know now is that self-care is something you “be”—it’s a mindset that can inform every decision we make. When we be self-care, it doesn’t matter if we have three weeks for vacation off the grid, two minutes of silence, or no time at all and only a moment of presence with ourselves and a kind thought we can choose—we can access self-care immediately.

The illusion of what “self-care” is often deters people from participating in it. It can seem so big and time-consuming, and the idea of doing it often feels overwhelming, impenetrable, and selfish. And then we end up doing nothing. To help demystify the idea of self-care, let’s take it down a notch and look at what self-care truly is.

Self-care happens “in the cracks.” It doesn’t have to mean eight hours of sleep each night, two hours a day in the gym, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, decadent vacations, and a massage therapist following us around. While these may all be lovely (and by all means, go for it), there are more immediately accessible, less expensive, and less time-consuming ways to take care of ourselves.

Self-care is being kind to yourself, taking care of yourself, and being your own best friend and advocate.

It happens when you’ve had a hard day or moment and, instead of armoring up and forcing your way through, you admit it—and let yourself have a minute.

It happens when you opt out of a toxic conversation or relationship.

It happens when you have to use the bathroom, and instead of holding it, you go. Or when you’re thirsty, instead of ignoring it or rushing past the water stop, you drink.

It happens when you bring your “emergency food” with you or a snack in your bag so you don’t get stuck without food, or even worse, with bad food.

It happens when instead of being unkind to yourself and beating yourself up for that last “fail” or “dumb thing you just said,” you offer yourself grace and even an acknowledgment for being brave.

It happens when you say “no” to a late-night meal or drinks when you’re traveling so you can sleep and avoid becoming exhausted.

It happens when you climb into a hot bath and go to bed early as opposed to getting sucked into TV or social media and losing sleep and brain peace.

It happens when you gift yourself a 10-minute time-out for a nap or just a quiet solo moment.

It happens when you set your intentions in the morning as you brush your teeth (bonus points if you say, “Good morning, love, you are fabulous!”).

It happens when you guard your morning for your first 10 minutes, only for you and stay quiet.

It happens when instead of apologizing to the person who keeps interrupting you, you pause and hold your space.

It happens when you ask for what you need.

It happens when you look in the mirror and instead of berating the most recent wrinkle, wiggly bit, or gray hair—you love it up and thank it for its service and the wisdom that comes with it.

It happens when your kid gets in the car and is having a bad day, and instead of taking it personally, you breathe and love him or her (and you).

It happens when you say “no” and mean it.

It happens when you say “yes” and mean it.

It happens when you stay present with the dishes you’re washing, listen to music, and enjoy the simplicity of that space.

It happens when you enjoy your food, or coffee, or that perfect-sized bite of chocolate.

It happens when we’re feeling depressed or sad and instead of brushing it off give ourselves space to get curious, process it, and glean the learning. (There is so much learning in depression and sadness.)

It happens when we get ourselves the professional help and care we need when we need it (therapy, coaching, medical attention, etc.).

It happens when we give ourselves a moment to breathe, get present, and connect with our intention.

It happens when we pause.

It happens in the moment.

Presence is self-care.

The examples of self-care, from minuscule to grand, are limitless.

Self-Care as an Act of Generosity

Self-talk and productive language, accessing gratitude, honoring intuition and our deeper voices and emotions, catching the stories and assumptions we’re making up before they take us dark—these are all forms of self-care and help us strengthen our immunity. What’s more, our self-care is an act of generosity. The more we tend to it, the more we have to give.

One of my very richly scheduled clients, who disliked shopping and whose profession required she look on point all the time, signed up with an online styling and shopping service that sends her clothes each month. (This also enables her to give more to her clients and focus her energy on the right things.)

Another client had a five-minute ritual he did with his wife every morning where for five protected glorious minutes (without their kids and the world pulling on them), they lay in bed (or hid in the closet) and appreciated each other, set their intentions for the day, and just spent time together. (This also enables their marriage to thrive.)

One of our participants from a nonprofit shared that her self-care was in saying her prayers in the morning, setting her intentions on the commute into work, and bringing her favorite tea to the office each day in her “lucky” mug. (This also enables her to be more present for her coworkers and the people she serves.)

One of my favorite forms of self-care is my “no, no thank you” to food that I know may compromise my energetic state or clear thinking. Or “no,” when intuitively something feels off or I simply don’t want to do something. I’ve come to love the “no” and find that every time I honor it, I feel more grounded, clear, and trusting of myself, and it frees me up to do better. (This also enables me to give more and be a solid YES for the things I commit to.)

Another form? The self-imposed “time-out” when I feel myself getting jacked or reactive. A simple five-minute time-out (which may consist of me finding a quiet spot to reboot or hitting the bathroom stall to power-pose or dance) brings me back to center, and I’m better able to respond to whatever is happening. (This also spares whomever I’m with from a reactive, and likely not so pleasant or productive, response from me.)

Finally, one of my favorite examples: A friend of mine has a self-care practice that revolves around kindness. Every time she feels overwhelmed by current events, she takes a breath, gets present, feels gratitude for her blessings, and then asks herself, “What is the littlest thing I can do to be kind and help things go better?” This often results in her making a phone call, reaching out to someone in need, making a donation, or doing anything else that feels authentically kind and will do good. She knows it won’t solve all the problems of the world, but this little act and intention gives her more internal grace, helps her feel a bit better, and ultimately pays her self-care forward. She’s very generous. When I asked her what gives her the energy to contribute again and again, and to not be overwhelmed by it all, she shares that she is able to do this, in part, because she stays conscious with her own self-care first; she allows herself full authentic emotion (which means tears, anger, and even hopelessness sometimes), she gets support from her friends to talk about it, and then she uses her IEP to take care of herself and move through it.

Making Self-Care a Habit Proactively and Reactively

The more we practice self-care, self-kindness, presence, intention, and any of the things I’ve listed here (not to mention your own ways that work for you), the less intimidating self-care is and the more a habit it becomes. Until it’s our default and something we can quickly recover to. Have a lot of toxicity in your life? No worries. If you take care of yourself, get present, and stay connected to your intentions, it will become clearer about how you want to navigate and change it (and even how you may be contributing to the toxicity to begin with). Feeling overwhelmed by current events? Take such great care of yourself (while staying connected to your intention for impact) that you are better resourced to rise above the “ick” and ultimately help things go better.

We can build our resiliency and immunity proactively and reactively. The more we’re exposed to negative contagions and react or respond well (by holding our space, taking care of ourselves, bouncing back, and continually learning from it), the more we are able to build our resiliency and immunity reactively. On the flip side, we can build it proactively via self-care, intention, and what I share in this book. Think of it like eating your vegetables, taking your vitamins, and choosing your thoughts—doing these things builds your immunity and resiliency. You might also think of self-care as a “flu shot” (the kind that works and is awesome) that immunizes you against catching others’ muck. Whatever metaphor works for you is not important; what’s important is that you decide to take care of yourself. This means addressing your kryptonite and building up your superpowers.

Immunity Kryptonite: 31 Things That Weaken Your Field

Just as we build immunity, we can weaken it too! Let’s look at some of the things you may be doing that deplete your energetic field (which in turn can hurt your trust and credibility). These are common, they’re human, and they pack a subtle and powerful punch. Everything in this chapter (and throughout the rest of this book) can help combat these forms of kryptonite. Look at this list and see if you can slowly knock out a couple of these items. You don’t have to do a ton here, and this doesn’t have to be hard.

How many of these things do you do?

1.   Talking about how busy you are

2.   Making excuses

3.   Telling your frustrated or dramatic story over and over again

4.   Apologizing repeatedly (double points if they’re inappropriate or weak apologies with no ownership)

5.   Breaking a promise (to self or other)

6.   Lying (to self or other)

7.   Being late (double points if you make excuses versus own it)

8.   Saying “yes” when you mean “no” (and then resenting it)

9.   Being a martyr about your time, energy, actions, anything

10.   Gossiping

11.   Blaming someone/something else

12.   Waiting to be rescued

13.   Playing your role in the Drama Triangle as Victim, Hero, or Perpetrator (and likely all three at times)

14.   Complaining

15.   Using weak language

16.   Not taking care of yourself

17.   Not owning your “stuff”

18.   Watching too much TV; watching bad TV

19.   Tolerating people/places/things that suck the life out of you

20.   Tolerating that thing in your environment that bugs you

21.   Procrastinating

22.   Suffering (pain is inevitable; suffering is optional)

23.   Going it alone; not getting help

24.   Talking behind people’s backs

25.   Not engaging issues directly

26.   Avoiding . . . anything

27.   Giving fluffy “nice” feedback

28.   Not deciding but rather being paralyzed in the ambiguity of indecision

29.   Not standing for what you need (especially from a self-care standpoint)

30.   Not honoring your core values (without consciously deciding to not honor them for an intentional reason)

31.   Overfunctioning, being overly responsible or accountable

What else would you add? In my experience, we’ve all dabbled in a few of these. The leadership is in owning and shifting them as we wish for stronger impact and influence.

The Mindset of Building Your Immunity (Being)

There is the being of building our immunity—our self-awareness, beliefs, thoughts, assumptions, attitudes, intentions, relationship with ourselves, and the way we hold our space.

There is the doing—our physical and environmental practices, our rituals, the language we use, what/whom we surround ourselves with, meditation, boundaries, and even travel and “getting in front” of anything coming our way.

They, of course, work together. You need the being and the doing.

Let’s start with the being because it will infuse everything you do.

The following are eight principles I’ve found to be incredibly helpful for shifting mindset, building immunity, and strengthening IEP. Each is immediately applicable, doesn’t take a ton of time, and doesn’t have to be complicated (unless you wish to make it so).

Own and embody any of these, and you shift the field:

•   My presence is my impact. How I show up matters.

•   Showing up for myself first is vital to be able to show up for others.

•   My relationship with myself is the most important relationship I have. (This includes any spiritual beliefs I hold and my relationship with a higher power.)

•   The combination of trust, credibility, and leadership is an inside-out job.

•   The clarity of my intention equals the power and quality of my impact (and the ease of doing anything).

•   I matter. I have my own space. (I am “response-able” for holding and nourishing it.)

•   I create my experience. I author my story. I lead me.

•   Presence, not perfection.

Which feel most important to you? Whether you are a top-level executive or entry-level administrator, teacher or principal, winemaker or grape picker . . . these principles strengthen the Essential You and build your field. Choose one, embody it for a day, keep rebooting back to it, and see what opens up.

The Practice of Building Your Immunity (Doing)

None of this “showing up” and “setting the tone” stuff is about perfection or doing anything “right.” It’s about self-awareness, presence, doing the best you can, taking care of yourself, noticing when you’re off, owning it, stepping in, and choosing to rise in whatever way will help you hold your space best and serve most.

Only you can know what will work for you.

Here are some of the most valuable practices I’ve personally found in strengthening IEP and building my immunity. In Part 5, I’ll give you a resource that offers some of my favorite thought leaders, services, tools, and publications that address many of these if you wish for more support or information. Consider this a checklist of places to consider that may be strengthening or weakening your IEP.

Sleep. Get your sleep, good-quality sleep. The research on sleep deprivation and what it does to our brains, our decision making, and our ability to be present is staggering. Prioritize sleep. Say “no” to late evenings out; don’t get sucked into TV or social media; do whatever you need to—get your zzzz’s.

Fuel. Make sure that your food is fuel and that it serves you. Pay attention to how you feel when (and after) you eat certain foods. Notice how food impacts your mood. Food allergies and sensitivities cause all sorts of havoc on the body. It’s not just about paying attention to carbs, protein, or fat. We want to look at inflammation, allergies, autoimmunity, and an endless list of other issues that can cause illness, low energy, brain fog, fatigue, grumpiness, impatience, pain, the beer belly/muffin top, and more.

Exercise. The body has to move. Our bodies are our vehicles for change and doing all the amazing things we do. The fact that you are reading or listening to this book right now in whatever way you are is a miracle—thank you, body! My fingers, hands, and arms typed this book, and my heart and brain created it . Thank you, body! Our bodies do so much for us, and yet they’re often the last thing paid attention to when time is tight. Physical activity creates essential hormones and processes in the body that are key to our mood, energy, health, decision making, clarity, stress management, and general mental and physical well-being. Find ways to move—if even a quick five minutes here and there.

Meditation. What is your practice? This does not have to be a big formal meditation practice. This can simply be time being present with yourself. My meditation, which means my quiet space in the morning, sets me up for a more solid day. My practice changes. The types of meditation I practice evolve as I do. It may be 10 minutes; it may be an hour. It may be formal; it may be casual. I do what I can, and I’m never sorry I did.

Intentions and gratitude. These are low-hanging fruit state shifters and grounders of ideas and plans. Both set us up for greater success. They work beautifully together. I start every morning with these and tap them throughout the day as needed. My morning process takes under nine minutes and sets the tone for the whole day. I use the IEP Sheet, do my five steps, and access gratitude—not just for the good stuff, but also for the most difficult. (This is the true practice of gratitude; can you find gratitude in the muck?) Remember this: intention sets the tone and paves the way to show up well, while gratitude creates more joy, space, wisdom, and fuel to make that intention happen. (Bonus: intentionality and gratitude are super-contagious.)

Dancing, music, movement. Some combination of these, even for two minutes, can be absolute state shifters and tone setters for your day, your moment, or that meeting. When you find yourself getting stuck or tunnel-visioned or need a time-out to think, you can recover, get into a more proactive space, and reboot your presence with any of these.

Connection. This one may not always be in your control, as it requires other people (however, connection with self counts too!). I intend to connect meaningfully with at least one person daily I can heart-to-heart it with, if even for two minutes (or via text, video, or voice message) to let people know I love, admire, appreciate, and/or see them. I do my best to be present and connect with any human I come in contact with and find something to enjoy—even if I don’t know that person.

Choosing high-vibe thinking. Choosing our thoughts is powerful. My team and I have an agreement around this idea that’s so important to us that we’ve put anchors on our office walls to remind us: High Vibe, Decide, Show Up, Assume Good, Get Curious, Check Your Intention, Tell the Truth, Honor All, Be in Service Of, and Use It for Good. In essence, this all means that whatever is happening, when we find ourselves going down the drain in low-vibe thinking, or getting snarky in our presence, we’re “response-able” to honor and shift it productively. It’s not about faking our feelings or bypassing the emotion or situation. It’s about having awareness and choice to create more space and find a higher-vibration thought and pathway that will support what we’re up to. These anchors serve as reminders (and bread crumbs) to do this. If we find we keep hitting a low state about the same thing, then it’s time to get curious. Find out why it keeps happening: there’s gold here; wisdom is waiting. (By the way, there is always a reason for low-vibe repeats. It’s either lack of awareness, bad habits, unclear intentions, incomplete communication, or a sign that something needs changing.)

Staying conscious and intentional with your language and state of being. Being aware of and course-correcting our use of language and states is a beautiful immunity builder. Ask these simple questions for powerful outcomes: Does the language you use expand or contract the field? Does your state create expansion or contraction? You can choose different words and states you want to work with as you feel they support your field. For example, let’s take “hope,” “need,” and “sorry”—all weak and often unconsciously used words. Instead, turn “hope” into “intend,” “trust,” or “expect”; turn “need” into “want,” “will,” or “prefer”; and use “sorry” only in the most intentional and appropriate of ways. For example, if I’ve broken an agreement or had an unintended impact, I might say, “I acknowledge my broken agreement or unintended impact, and here’s how I’ll make it right/clean it up.” We’re looking for conscious, true, and powerful words. Other examples? I’ve seen teams replace the word “busy” with “on purpose” or “richly scheduled”; “worried” with “aware of”; “but” with “and”; and the energetic state of “excuses” with “accountability”—all with subtle and powerful positive results. The language and states are nuanced and potent. Pay attention.

Regularly creating chunks of time for silence and unplugging. You must create space. (No one will do this for you—own it.) This doesn’t have to happen daily. Instead, choose a day each week (the whole day or a chunk of hours) and spend it in silence or unplugged. No phones, no texts, no TV, no nada. I do this. It helps a ton. Even if it’s an intentional hour. My kids know this, and we’ve codesigned it with a code for if they really need me and it can’t wait because their cute pants are on fire. This has worked beautifully. Quick mini-unplugs and conscious disengagement space are essential and can feel like a lot more time if you are truly present and fully allow yourself space.

Other Ideas for Setting Yourself Up Well

Here are some other things we’ve had clients and program participants share that they’ve integrated more intentionally into their lives for nourishment and self-care with great results. Add your own!

•   Family dinners and a table setting ritual

•   No phones after 6 p.m. (or a time that works for you)

•   Only one glass of wine—to enjoy it (not self-medicate with it)

•   Intention and appreciation sessions with their partner, family, team

•   Intention and appreciation sessions with themselves

•   Regular dates and sex with their partner

•   Ditching the pressure and quest for “work/life” balance (it’s all one life!)

•   Love letters, love texts, love emails, and flowers, sent to self (“yasss”!)

•   An evening bath or soak or walk

•   Morning intentions outside for their morning ritual,

•   Any ritual that has them be present in the doing (can be anything: coffee making, tea, dishes, making their bed)

•   Journaling daily or weekly

•   Writing a vision for the future and what they want to create and then reading it daily

•   Exercising with friends

•   Having a daily check-in call at 5:30 a.m. (or whenever) to ground, set intentions, and address life and learning as it unfolds

•   A weekly men’s dinner or women’s circle

Anything that is “life-giving” counts. Let’s acknowledge that it is easy to let “things” slide—travel, time zones, kids, client needs, life demands, deadlines, surprises . . . you name it. Let that be OK. There is no pressure here, only an invitation to do what you can—and be the best you can. And when it all falls apart? Be nice. Learn from it. Reboot. And climb back on. If you’re building your immunity regularly, your recovery will be swift.

The Morning Ritual: Setting the Tone for the Day

I’ve had morning rituals for as long as I can remember. They’ve never let me down. They support me in owning my life and being my best for those in it. When my kids were little, you might have found me hiding in my bathroom, sitting on the floor of the cold tile in Chicago, with a space heater after getting up 30 minutes (or more) earlier while kids and then hubby slept so I could create this space for myself. Now my morning ritual happens in my first 9 to 60 minutes upon waking, whatever I’ve created space for. Whether it’s a minute or many, I find the ritual to be magical and centering. The point? Claim your space; set your tone; own your day; own your life.

Your ritual can be anything you wish—it can be event or activity specific (like making tea or coffee or a meal or doing dishes), and it can be at any time (morning, evening, upon waking, before going to bed, or before or after each meeting). You can create rituals out of anything I’ve shared in this book, and of course out of your own wisdom and desires. The invitation is to design it in a way that feels amazing and creates a life-giving practice.

Here are two examples of morning rituals that show this can work for you whether you have 15 minutes or a full hour:

1-Hour Ritual

5:30 a.m. Wake up—nine-minute body scan with the questions below (you can use the nine-minute snooze function to time this).

5:40 Capture any thoughts or intentions before shifting state (keep a journal or IEP Sheet next to your bed).

5:50 Coffee/tea/water/let the dog out, etc.

6:00 Meditate for 12–15 minutes.

6:15 Movement/dancing/music/stretching/breathwork (any or all).

6:25 Complete the IEP Sheet with all intentions for the day, the four quadrants complete, and your IEP Practice set.

6:30 Rock your day.

15-Minute Ritual

5:30 a.m. Wake up—five-minute body scan.

5:35 Capture thoughts and intentions; fill out the IEP Sheet stat.

5:40 Dance or intentionally move and breathe your way to the bathroom; brush your teeth; head for the kitchen for coffee; let the dog out. While doing all of the above and getting ready for your day, talk nice to yourself, reflect on your intentions, and love. yourself up.

5:45 Rock your day.

You can do a lot with 15 minutes (or less—make this work for you). The time allotted and components included are up to you. Have fun.

Note: There are no rules. And here are two I highly recommend . . . no snooze and no phone in bed! Do not go back to sleep (your brain will be grateful). And do not check email, texts, voice mail, news, social media, or anything from the outside world that will pull on you and extract your attention and energy before you have completed your ritual and set the tone for your day. I promise you this will magnify the power of your ritual and the container you that create for yourself. (After all, “I find other people’s drama, noise, and agendas for my time and energy to be truly life-giving, pleasurable, and productive . . . ,” said no one, ever. ) If you don’t believe me, just do it for seven days and see.

The Morning Questions

Here are some morning questions that can help ground you in your day. Check in with these while doing your morning scan or journaling:

Check in with your body: How am I? What do I need? What feels great? What needs TLC? Any places you want to give extra care to today will pop up.

Check in with your mind: How is it? What is the quality of my thinking? That thing I was trying to figure out yesterday, does my mind have new information or wisdom for me today? What’s the general tone of my mind this morning?

Check in with your emotions: How am I? Do I feel heard and cared for? What does my intuition “know” about that “thing”? Is there anything tender or joyful that needs extra attention or celebration? Where might my emotions need a little extra honoring today?

Check in with your heart: How is my heart today? What am I grateful for? What is my desire? Anything you need from me today, heart?

Check in with your spirit: How are you, spirit? Do you feel honored? Are we on track with our purpose? What intuition do you want me to pay extra attention to today? What do I need to know that I might not see yet?

Check in with your intention: What do I want to create today? What’s the impact I want to have? (What’s important about this? Whom will it serve?) How do I want to feel? How do I want to make others feel? What kind of contagious do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What kind of contribution would I like to be with this life today?

Once you’ve all checked in, huddle up: “We’re all in this together, I love you, let’s go.”

These questions are quiet and gentle. Remember, they’re happening while you lie in bed, in meditation, doing your “morning scan.” When complete, capture anything that feels important and note any “worries” or “pay attentions!!” that came up during the scan. You don’t have to ask them all; use them as you love them. I do find that checking in with each domain helps me pull myself together and create a more solid container and presence for the day, which then of course fuels me up to be more resilient, robust, and intentionally contagious.

Fieldwork: Make It Real

What will serve you most from this chapter? What resonated? What “poked” at you? Where did you feel sad, excited, stressed, relieved? Let’s build your Immunity Plan.

Immunity Plan

1.   My definition of self-care is: _________________

2.   Why self-care is important to me. (How it supports my intention for impact, what it’s in service of, and those it impacts besides me): _____________

3.   Circle the things on the Immunity Kryptonite list that you do to weaken your field.

4.   Three things you do to weaken your field, which you will take immediate action on, are:

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5.   Identify three things you will do to build your immunity over the next 30 days. Include mindset (being) and action (doing) in your practice.

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6.   Create your morning ritual here:

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7.   Anything else that feels important from this chapter? Name it and claim it.

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