CHAPTER 22
Adopt Strategic Negotiation Practices
During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.
Strategic negotiators stand out from their less-successful colleagues. The following communication habits will increase your chances to negotiate beneficial partnerships, close bigger client contracts, gain significant promotions, and resolve troublesome conflicts.
Strategic negotiators listen to a complete thought expressed. Their less-successful colleagues assume they know what the other person is driving at, so they interrupt often, missing much of the message.
Strategic negotiators practice focused attention. Their less successful coworkers often set themselves up for failure. They become easily distracted with electronic gadgets or passersby. Trying to multi-task, they let their mind wander off topic—again missing key information that would be helpful to the discussion.
Strategic negotiators take notes on what they hear. The less-successful assume they will remember what they hear and seldom write down information for later reference.
Strategic negotiators listen for alignment. Unsuccessful negotiators tend to listen for disagreement and attempt to talk the other party over to their side. They view the discussion as an “us” versus “them” situation, with persuasion as the main tool in their toolbox.
Strategic negotiators identify opportunities—mutual acquaintances, referrals, recommendations—to make assessments and look for mutual benefit in other ventures. The successful set their radar to intercept signals from all directions. Their less-successful colleagues either fail to pick up on these tidbits of information or tune them out as irrelevant. Their radar operates on a very limited range.
Strategic negotiators ask probing questions to understand the other person’s goals, needs, concerns, and resistance to an agreement. Less-successful negotiators focus on stating and restating their own needs, goals, and concerns, considering the other person’s goals an afterthought.
Strategic negotiators let the other party make the first request or offer. The conventional wisdom is, “The person who mentions money first loses.” If the other party seems reluctant to mention money first, you might elicit an offer with questions or statements: “What had you planned to pay for something like this?” “Do you have a budget in mind for this project?” “What have you paid for this service in the past?” “What’s the going rate for something like this?” “Have you checked around for prices?” “What kind of financial arrangements did you have in mind?”
If your negotiation involves requests other than financial, you still might encourage the party to make their request first. “When were you thinking you could have this project completed?” “So are you aiming for any critical deadline to have this delivered?” “Are we working around any crucial supply difficulties?”
The less effective negotiator operates under the philosophy, “Let’s just get this deal done (or situation handled). Take it or leave it.”
Strategic negotiators avoid getting blinded by big numbers. They adequately break down the numbers and assess needs and potential opportunities over the long term. But hefty lump sums dazzle less-savvy negotiators who aren’t used to assessing long-term risks and rewards.
Strategic negotiators focus on a few key things they really want. Less-effective negotiators get caught up in the details and nickel-and-dime about unimportant matters. As a result, they walk away with a long but trivial list of “points scored.”
Strategic negotiators refuse to fall for the “no exceptions” line. They understand everything is negotiable—for a price. Unskilled negotiators often accept this “no exceptions” comment and fail to ask for what they need or want.
Strategic negotiators ask questions to clarify understanding before drawing conclusions. The less successful jump to conclusions based on assumptions of what the other person wants, needs, has, or can or can’t do.
Strategic negotiators read body language well. They also acknowledge that they’re listening (with eye contact, facial expression, and note taking). Less-experienced negotiators pay less attention to body language—their own or the other person’s. The less experienced focus primarily on words, often missing much of the real message about potential areas for a change in position or common ground.
Strategic negotiators are comfortable with silence; they listen far more than they talk. Unseasoned negotiators become rattled by silence. They talk more than they listen, giving away far too much information and failing to gather information they need to make offers or solid decisions.
Strategic negotiators stay calm and controlled—even if the other party gets upset in heated discussions. They master their moods, keep their tone of voice upbeat, maintain a normal volume, and avoid negative body language (such as eye rolls, smirks, or steepled hands). Their less successful colleagues get agitated and react emotionally—only to regret the results later.
(Of course, many negotiations involve complete teams rather than just two people. But since this book focuses on individual leaders, I’m including here only guidelines that apply to individuals. For a more extensive discussion on negotiation strategies and pitfalls, see my book Communicate With Confidence.)
Coupled with pre-planning and proper structure, strategic negotiations with lasting benefits for both parties stem from skill and patience—both of which can sometimes be in short supply.