Index
agenda: client routine example of, 158
discernment of personal hidden, 156
functional, 157
question format sample of, 159
turn “topics” into questions on, 158
typical example of, 157–158
anecdote: humor and use of, 81
storytelling versus, 123–124
apology: common misunderstanding about, 87
humility in, 87
manager scenario of, 86–87
promptness and sincerity of, 86
refusal of, 86
solution-focused in, 88
specific acknowledgment in, 87–88
swiftness of, 87
Asch, Sholem, 135
backward display of information, 142–144
Baldoni, John, 131
Baruch, Bernard, 153
Battista, Orlando A., 97
“been there, done that” syndrome, 61
Belker, L. B., 83
Bennis, Warren, 39
big picture, 6–7, 16, 38, 58, 172
Blockbuster, 61
body language: as communication standard, 75–76
controlling of dominators by, 168
negative versus positive, 21–22
negotiator’s reading of, 103–104
Booher, Dianna, 7, 41, 111, 115
humor as approach to, 81
wish-list exercise for, 43
Bruce, Anne, 71
career growth: feedback as investment in, 47
halting of, 16
millennials thriving on, 66, 69
personalized, 66
reconfirm interest in, 67
reinforcement of, 68
CESifo, 49
Chang, Morris, 1
Chesterton, G. K., 157
Clarke, Boyd, 109
coaching, strategic, 37
clear feedback in, 47–48
confidence building in, 47
for diets, 45
encouragement in, 48
goal and expectation communication in, 46
identify team strengths in, 46
life coaches and personal trainers in, 46
motivators in, 46
potential danger warning of, 47
resource provision in, 47
stretch assignments in, 48
win celebration in, 48
Communicate With Confidence: How to Say It Right the First Time and Every Time (Booher), 7, 41
communication, 46
coaching scenario in, 37
hiding light in, 36
information-hoarding reasons in, 37–38
strategic information sharing as, 38
“thought leadership” in, 37
communication, difficulties in: conversation consideration in, 113
large group connection lack in, 113
“lecture mode” avoidance in, 113
psychological preparation for, 115–116
sentences that “talk at,” 113–114
sentences that “talk with,” 114
“talk with” demeanor to aid in, 114–115
tough questions from strong personalities as, 115–116
communication, strategic: ask for collaboration or disagreement in, 40
big-picture thinkers in, 6–7
definition of, 3
fact and fiction separation in, 40
Jordan story example of, 5
as leadership core, 3
leading question examples in, 39–40
listen and follow-up questions in, 40
open-ended questions in, 40
silence use in, 41
tactical communication versus, 6–7
communication standards: body language reading as, 75–76
branding in, 73–74
confidentiality in, 77
emotional context attention in, 76
“hot words” example in, 76
improving, 75
listening as, 75
positive and negative style in, 74
precise word choice in, 76
timing importance in, 77
truth-telling importance in, 75
conversations, 6
apologies in, 86–88
communication difficulties in, 113
communication standards for, 73–77
humor in, 79–82
networking in, 89–94
response time in, 83–85
termination preparation for, 54
Cooley, Charles Horton, 32
Cool Hand Luke (fictional character), 5
Cooper, Jilly, 153
cost and deliverables, 169–171
Covey, Stephen, 169
Creating Personal Presence (Booher), 111
Crossland, Ron, 109
data: case building use of, 117
“map out” story for, 119
one-point use of, 120
“presentation stew” scenario in, 118–119
selective use of, 119
story determination use of, 119
words and concepts for conclusion in, 119–120
decisions, bad: accept responsibility for, 62
analysis of, 60
“been there, done that” syndrome in, 61
confidantes in, 63
course-correct after, 62–63
ego power in, 62
feedback and alternatives for, 61
information from all sources use in, 63
reality check for, 62
self-interest above common good in, 61–62
as version of old challenge in, 61
directives: check-back in, 44
leaders regarding, 42–44
money no object as, 43
“on hold” use in, 43–44
positive phrasing in, 44
“rebuilding” term use in, 43
disappearing boss, 34–35
discussion: casual, 68–69
key stakeholder, 156
learning as topic in, 68
rambling control in, 165
structure of, 165
termination documentation for, 53–54
dominators, controlling of: with body language and voice, 168
call by name as, 168
call on others as, 168
contribution acknowledgment with body language to, 168
traffic cop with verbal cue, 168
withholding verbal pats on the back for, 167–168
Drummond, Henry, 11
dynamic delivery checklist, 127
Eastman Kodak, 61
Eichinger, Robert, 65
employee recognition guidelines, 50–51
Encyclopaedia Britannica, 106–107
Entrepreneur, 123
Epictetus, 117
executive presence: act with integrity in, 112
attributes of, 111–112
physical appearance as, 112
speaking patterns and vocal quality in, 112
strategic thinking capacity as, 112
Facebook, 20, 50, 147–148, 150
facilitator, 130, 161, 162, 164–165, 167–168
Fast Company, 123
feedback, 44, 53, 59, 63, 69, 166
for bad decisions, 61
in coaching, 47–48
Ferrazzi, Keith, 89 Forbes, 123, 147
Gallup poll: on expectations and outcomes, 18
on response time, 84
Gardner, John W., 27
Gibbon, Edward, 52
Glasow, Arnold H., 49
goals, 122
big-picture and primary, in meetings, 156, 172
in coaching, 46
of leader and manager, 14, 34, 42, 44
“lost in translation” of, 19
in negotiations, 97–98
Gordon, Karen Elizabeth, 15
Harris, Sydney J., 18
Harris Poll, 65
Harvard Business Review, 123, 147
Heist, Dan (fictional character), 86
Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, 111
hiring. See interview “hot words,” 76
Humes, James, 36
humor: anecdote used as, 81
as brainstorming approach, 81
Dr. Einstein of Grammar scenario of, 79–80
German proverb about, 82
grammatical errors as, 80
laugh at self in, 82
lighthearted response in, 81
Miss Amos scenario of, 78–79
motive use in, 81
permission to laugh in, 82
positiveness of, 81
as productivity booster, 79–80
self-deprecating, 82
as stress choice, 79
as tension reliever, 81
word choices in, 81
writing carefully with, 81
information hoarding, 37–38
information sharing, 38
interview: accomplishment question for, 30
admiration question for, 29
core character and competence questions for, 28–31
failure question in, 31
horrible-day question for, 30
interview and complete package in, 27–28
irritating-people question for, 29
mistreatment question for, 30
new idea explanation in, 31
past situation handling in, 28
time-waster question for, 29
well-planned questions in, 28
Jardiel Poncela, Enrique, 142
Jobs, Steve, 122
Karrass, Chester L., 95
Kennedy, John F., 64
Kettering, Charles, 165
key-word outline, 129
Korn Ferry Institute study, 65
leader: answer focus of, 16
demoralizing versus motivating, 58–59
detailed communication of, 15–16
directives regarding, 42–44
education of others as, 17
employee recognition guidelines for, 50–51
goal of, 14
key question for, 15
manager difference between, 12–14
Mitch story of, 11–12
staying relevant as, 17
strategic insight and communication of, 5
termination adage of, 52
termination steps for, 53–55
winning team trust as, 44
leadership communication skills, 3, 6
building trust as, 26
clear communication in, 19
detailed communication as, 15–16
expectation and outcome scenario in, 18–19
hero highlights use in, 21
inconsistency versus consistency in, 19
individual performers in, 20
ineffective versus effective verification questions for, 22–23
negative versus positive body language in, 21–22
one-size-fits-all versus personalization in, 20
specifics addressed in, 20
storytelling as, 121
strategic information sharing as, 38
strategic insight as, 5
trade on trust in, 25
unwilling to admit mistakes versus accountability in, 19–20
LEAD format, 132–134
“lecture mode,” 113
life coaches, 46
listening, 40
as communication standard, 75
involvement in storytelling, 122
as manager, 34
of negotiators, 101–102
“lost in translation,” 19
manager: accessibility of, 35
apology scenario of, 86–87
coaching steps for, 46–48
demoralization scenario for, 56–58
demoralizing versus motivating, 58–59
direct communication as, 33
employee recognition guidelines for, 50–51
goal delegation of, 34
goal of, 14
leader difference between, 12–14
limited experience of, 12
listening as, 34
meeting ground rules of, 35
micromanagement traits of, 33
meetings, 6
agenda “topics” into questions for, 158
attendance specifics for, 162–163
best practices for, 171–172
big-picture goals in, 172
“champions” solicitations before, 156
client routine agenda example for, 158
“commitment check” before, 156
confirmation and cancellation system for, 163
cost and deliverables in, 169–171
cost example of, 170
decision criteria matrix development before, 156
“details” strategy in, 160
discussion structure in, 165
estimating cost of, 169–170
facts and procedure verification before, 156
functional agendas in, 157
individual input gathering before, 156
input or validation phrasing in, 165–166
internal facilitator use in, 162
key stakeholder discussions before, 156
manager ground rules of, 35
new opportunities and improvements identification in, 172
participant value in, 164–165
passives and dominators in, 167
personal hidden agendas discernment before, 156
“potential obstacles” input before, 156
primary goals and non-negotiables confirmation before, 156
question format agenda sample for, 159
rambling discussion control in, 165
recommendation support solicitation before, 156
representative use in, 163
RFPs scenario in, 155
safe environment creation in, 166–167
time wasters in, 161
typical agenda example for, 157–158
value contribution to, 168
withholding verbal pats on the back in, 167–168
Meister, Jeanne, 47
micromanagement: crisis reasons in, 4
direct communication practice for, 33
disappearing boss in, 34–35
emotional instability causing, 2–3
goal delegation in, 34
know-it-all attitude in, 34
manager traits in, 33
negatives in, 32
resignation letter scenario in, 1–2, 4
retention problem in, 2
staff meeting cancellation in, 35
strategic communication skills differences from, 3
negotiations, 6
attitude in, 106
“communication plan” example of, 99–100
core philosophy in, 106
difficult-to-measure goals in, 98
Encyclopaedia Britannica attitude example in, 106–107
everyday, 97
five steps of, 99–100
immediate goal identification in, 98
long-term goal identification in, 97–98
mutual benefit attitude example in, 106
nice-to-have goal identification in, 98
relationship trust in, 105
substitution phrases for, 105
value of offer determination in, 98
walkaway point decision in, 99
negotiators, strategic: alignment listening for, 102
ask probing questions as, 102
big-number avoidance of, 103
body language reading of, 103–104
focused-attention practice of, 101–102
key-wants focus of, 103
mindset comparison to salesperson of, 107
“no exceptions” line refusal of, 103
opportunity identification of, 102, 107
other-party first request as, 102–103
staying calm and controlled as, 104
taking notes as, 102
understanding clarification of, 103
Netflix, 61
networking: declining value in, 93–94
opportunities in, 89–90
organizational benefits from, 91
personal benefits from, 90–91
providing introductions in, 93
questions for, 90
who to include in, 91–92
Noonan, Peggy, 109
Ogilvy, David, 135
Penney, James Cash, 9
people development, 6
“ability to grow talent” in, 65
career growth reinforcement in, 68
casual discussion in, 68–69
as cool calling card, 66
employee trust scenario for, 64–65
learning as discussion topic in, 68
mentoring moments in, 67
millennials favoring of, 66, 69
old-school thinking in, 65–66
strategic thinkers in, 66–67
talent scouting value in, 65, 69
team member accountability in, 67–68
Pepitone, James S., 71
personal trainers, 46
Plato, 121
presentation coaching, 5
“presentation stew,” 118–119
PricewaterhouseCoopers survey, 65
productivity, 29
check-back directive bottlenecking, 44
communicating as critic impacts, 48
emotional instability lowering of, 2–3
humor as booster of, 79–80
last-minute staff meetings lowering of, 35
response time regarding, 84
social media use and, 147–148
thank-you note increase in, 51
Quillen, Robert, 71
rambling: discussion control of, 165, 167–168
speaking avoidance of, 129–130, 132
Random House, 80
recognition: Dru kudos experiment in, 49, 51
employee guidelines for, 50–51
as motivating, 50
personalization of, 50
reward variation in, 50
specific praise for, 50
story sharing in, 50
as surprise, 50
requests for proposals (RFPs), 155
response time, 81
Gallup poll on, 84
“holding pattern” in, 84
significant from trivial sorting for, 85
slow, 84
smartphone users regarding, 83
on social media, 84
speed in, 85
team standard in, 84
urgent versus important in, 85
RFPs. See requests for proposals Rice, Condoleezza, 60
Robert, Cavett, 24
Robinson, Ken, 123
Rohn, Jim, 73
Ruskin, John, 71
Sarnoff, Dorothy, 128
scenario: communication coaching, 37
Dr. Einstein of Grammar humor, 79–80
employee trust, 64–65
expectation and outcome, 18–19
in leadership communication skills, 24–25
manager apology, 86–87
manager demoralization, 56–58
Miss Amos humor, 78–79
“presentation stew,” 118–119
real leader, 11–12
RFPs in, 155
TV anchor, 128–129
Schwarzkopf, Norman, 9
Sevareid, Eric, 78
Shakespeare, William, 130
negotiators comfortable with, 104
strategic communication use of, 41
skeleton story structure, 125
social media, 171
addictive nature of, 149
consistent business theme use on, 150
follower caveat for, 151
friends and followers in, 148
as leased office space on, 150–151
marketing use of, 147
monetization of, 147
people engagement on, 150
posting on, 146
productivity regarding, 147–148
related tasks on, 146–147
response time on, 84
right channel selection for, 149
session limitation on, 149
staying on topic in, 149
strategic use of, 148
thinking creatively in, 148
speaking, 6
contribution preparation in, 130
key-word outline use in, 129
LEAD format example of, 134
LEAD format for extemporaneous, 132–133
patterns and vocal quality for executive presence in, 112
“spontaneous” preparation for off-the-cuff, 131–132
summary-first structure in, 129
time-waster elimination in, 130
TV anchor scenario for, 128–129
Speak With Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Inform, Inspire, and Persuade (Booher), 115
storytelling: anecdotes versus, 123–124
appropriate structure for, 124
CEOs in, 123
colorful phrasing in, 127
details in, 127
dialogue in, 127
dynamic delivery checklist for, 127
emotional engagement in, 122
failure in, 123
goal closure in, 122
hero introduction in, 127
key point transition in, 127
as leadership communication skill, 121
listener involvement in, 122
obstacles in, 124–125
record-keeping of stories for, 126
retention increase with, 122–123
setup of, 127
skeleton structure of, 125
TED Talks regarding, 122–123
weak delivery in, 126
stretch assignments, 48, 66, 67
Success, 123
Swindling, Linda, 95
tactical communication, strategic communication versus, 6–7
TA-DA Template™, 144–145
“talk at” sentences, 113–114
“talk with” principle, 114–115
team member: accountability of, 67–68
identifying strengths in, 46
response time standard for, 84
winning trust of, 44
TED Talks, 122–123
termination: appropriate mindset adoption for, 54
argument avoidance in, 55
compassion and sensitivity in, 55
conversation preparation for, 54
decision communication in, 54
discussions documentation for, 53–54
leader adage about, 52
no focus on self in, 55
performance improvement opportunity before, 53–54
team members’ stress as consideration in, 53
“thought leadership,” 37
time waster: elimination in speaking of, 130
in meetings, 161
question for interview, 29
truth-telling, 26, 65, 74, 75, 122
Twain, Mark, 132
2020 Workplace, The (Meister and Willyerd), 47
Waitley, Denis, 155
walk-away point, 99
Willyerd, Karie, 47
writing, 6
accurate picture in, 137
analytical thinking use for, 138–139
backward display of information in, 142–144
“bad news” structure for, 144
demands of, 137
final exam simulation in, 138–139
information organization in, 140
missing key points in, 142–143
other-focused in, 140–141
“So what?” avoidance in, 139
TA-DA Template™ for, 144–145
thinking lean in, 139
two-version marketing department example of, 140–141. See also social media