CHAPTER 23
Aim to Do the Second Deal
Don’t raise your voice; improve your argument.
Negotiate each situation as if a more important opportunity will rest on the relationship developed in the current interaction.
The failure to operate by this principle underscores why many mergers fall apart at the last minute: One or both parties still lack basic respect and trust of the other because of the way they’ve been treated throughout the negotiations. The merger breakdown comes down to the “heart of the matter.”
For that reason, avoid the term negotiate whenever possible. For many people, that word implies a winner and a loser, or at best a compromise between two parties—neither of whom walks away completely satisfied with the outcome. In different circumstances, you might substitute these phrases: “come to an agreement,” “work out arrangements,” “determine a feasible work plan,” “identify a structure that works for all parties,” or “set up a workable framework for future projects together.” Such phrasing establishes a friendly atmosphere from the get-go.
But in addition to paying attention to phrasing, dig deeper to consider carefully your core negotiation philosophy: Is it to crush the other side? To win at all cost? To do the deal or die? To eke out some kind of arrangement with the other party who trapped you into the deal? That philosophy often shapes your wording. And your wording often drives the outcome.
Your attitude about the negotiation outcome will color the personal relationships with all people involved, the implementation and all further interactions, and the motivation to do future projects together. A strategic communicator understands this.
When you meet great negotiators, you’ll recognize the attitude immediately. Two such outstanding negotiators come to mind from my own business.
Gene, formerly a vice president at Shell Oil and at the time CEO of a high-tech software firm, approached me about licensing rights to some of my intellectual property for web-based training programs. During our first two-hour meeting, all his questions focused on “What do you need out of this arrangement?” During our more than two-decade partnership (and five product lines developed together), the tenor of the relationship has never changed.
Although our contract has had to be modified through the years as technology and delivery methods have changed, I attribute the successful negotiation to the goal of Gene and the other company owners from the very beginning: mutual benefit. With each change, they approached me with questions: “What works for you?” “Do you want to review and approve each program for quality control?” “What do you think about attending this or that trade show?”
The same could be said of the negotiation with Encyclopaedia Britannica many years ago. Our relationship started when a vice president from their organization attended one of my keynotes. Afterward, the VP extended an invitation to breakfast to meet several other team members and discuss the possibility of licensing the intellectual property. The entire first year of our relationship proved to be all about Britannica having its own clients evaluate my materials: Is this a good fit? Does this work for you? What’s your evaluation of the Booher product line?
Once Britannica received sign-off from their own clients, they moved to negotiate a contract with me. But again, their attitude was “How can we help you grow your business? What’s good for you is good for us!” As I wrote other books through the years, they celebrated in a big way—with autograph parties, with introductions to their clients, by including my books in their mailings, by having me autograph books in their trade-show booths. When I voiced new ideas for other products, their response was “Let’s do it!”
For more than two decades, until the Britannica Corporate Training division was sold, this relationship proved to be a strategic partnership for both entities—attributable in large part to the spirit of the Britannica negotiators.
The mindset of a strategic negotiator mimics that of a professional salesperson. Just as the salesperson is working to make not a sale but a lifetime customer, the strategic negotiator is trying to negotiate not one deal but a long-term relationship. And even in situations when you’re likely negotiating with a party only once, information about your negotiation style and attitude gets around. Word travels throughout your organization and industry. Ask any sales manager, courtroom attorney, or civic leader.
It’s all about the next opportunity. And the next. And the next. That’s why savvy negotiators pay attention to winning the heart (not just the deal) throughout the negotiation process.