CONCLUSION
Become the
living example
There was a mother in India who had tried everything to stop her child from eating chocolate all of the time. With every option exhausted she finally took her little boy to see Mahatma Gandhi. After standing in line for hours she was at last able to speak to him. She explained her challenge and Gandhi listened intently. The great man pondered for a moment then asked the woman to take the boy away and come back in 30 days’ time. The woman did not expect that advice and didn’t understand his rationale, but she followed his instructions. Thirty days later she returned with her son. Gandhi looked the boy in the eye with a piercing stare and after a few moments of silence he said: ‘Give up chocolate and don’t eat it anymore unless your mother says so!’ After the boy had walked away, never to eat chocolate again, his mother asked Gandhi why he had waited a month to give that advice. Gandhi’s reply was simple: ‘I had to give up eating chocolate first.’ You can talk about your goals, plan out your goals and dream big dreams, but once you have done this you need to become the living example of a person worthy, capable and deserving of achieving your goals by applying the right mindset, creating a plan and knowing why you want that goal in the first place. All the way through this book I have spoken about the emotional, mental and physical aspects of goal alignment. Only by combining all three can you gain true alignment and an unbreakable connection with your goals. So I can think of no better way to conclude this book than using these three components to share with you three ways to become the living example in your life. We are emotional creatures; our ability to express our emotions verbally is one thing that separates human beings from all other creatures. The emotional connection is the foundation of our reasoning for why we want to achieve a certain goal. Here are three key strategies to keep close to your heart as you become the living example … Before you set your goal, work out how you want to feel and then ask yourself, ‘Will that goal and action generate this feeling?’ If it won’t, then the goal is not right for you. This one connection can manifest many goals for you in your life. It is the missing link, the element that can have the greatest impact. Just imagine experiencing your driving emotions every day. What influence would that have on your mindset? What impact would it have on the amount of momentum you are able to create? Your emotion is the fuel that propels you more quickly to your goals. There comes a time when you have to let go of the goal, which means you need to release yourself from the goal emotionally. Emotional power is also about having the ability to let things go, to free yourself from worry, doubt and the demanding expectations that consume you. All too often people want to achieve their goal so badly that they become consumed by it. Let go of your goal, confident that it will come true because you have a plan and you are taking action to bring it closer to you. To be inspiring, you need to be inspired. You need to be deliberate about putting yourself in inspiring environments and determined to find ways to recharge your energy, your passion and your spirit. Life, and people for that matter, can sometimes wear you down so it is critical that you do the things you love to do, engage in activities that make a difference and find ways to pursue your passions. If you are inspired, you automatically become a living example for those people who are close to you, and perhaps even for people you have never even met. Mental power is about having a resilient attitude, an attitude that combats the resistance to change for the better, being able to see through the rationale for maintaining the status quo. Here are three ways to shift your thinking … The words you use make a difference. If you want to change, then change the way you speak to yourself. Move your language patterns from ‘I will try’ to ‘I will do it’, from ‘I think’ to ‘I believe’ (‘I believe this is right for me’), from ‘Some day …’ to ‘When …’ (‘When I achieve my goal’), from ‘could’ to ‘can’ (‘I can do that’), from ‘how’ to ‘why’ (‘Why I want to achieve my goal’). In their book Rework, Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson write … ‘When you spend time worrying about someone else, you can’t spend that time improving yourself.’ What other people think about you is none of your business. Live up to your own expectations. Life is too short to be always looking over your shoulder. Don’t seek approval from others when the only approval you need is your own. Instead, channel your energy into taking action and celebrate the fact that you are moving forward. How often do you play the ‘as soon as’ game — as soon as this customer makes a decision, as soon as the kids go to school full time, as soon as I get this deal across the line, as soon as I get this promotion or as soon as this person becomes the boss, things will be better? Socrates said it best: ‘He who is not content with what he has would not be content with what he would like to have.’ You need to find the gift in your current situation. You need to find the positive outcome and the joy right now! That is not to say that you shouldn’t seek to do better, be better and have better results, but I see too many people wish their life away rather than enjoying the moment. Not everything will go to plan, but you will have more positive, memorable moments when you find joy in the moment. Life is never about what you intend to do but is measured only by what you have done and are doing right now. To create the physical connection to your goal you need to take action and get on with it! All too often people wait and wait for the right moment to start. My advice is to start from where you stand, start now and take action quickly. Decide that it is not what happens to you or what has happened to you that counts, but how you respond to it. Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote … ‘Between stimulus & response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth & our freedom.’ How often do we feel upset, stressed, worried or threatened by a situation that will not matter in the least in a month’s time or even tomorrow? When you are controlled by a set of circumstances it is difficult to take the action you need to move forward. Choose your response and you choose your destiny! Action is the price you need to pay to achieve your goals. Henry David Thoreau wrote, ‘The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.’ What price are you prepared to pay to pursue your passions? I don’t mean in dollars and cents, but in time and energy. Maybe a better question is, how much is it costing you to not do what you love? What mindset is being created, what messages are you sending to others and what habits are being formed as you engage in activities that don’t lead you towards your goals? You will always pay a price in time, money or energy — just make sure it’s a price for which you gain a full return. What is the worst that can happen as you get closer to the right answer, action or goal? In a post-retirement interview, former CEO of General Electric Jack Welsh was asked, if he could have his time over again what would he do differently? His reply: ‘Think bigger, act faster!’ I particularly like the part about acting faster. Sometimes I think I take too long to act, waiting for the right moment or better circumstances. Does this apply to you? It costs little or nothing to dream bigger and in the long run it is less costly to act faster. It’s often said that we underestimate how much we can do in a lifetime and overestimate what we can get done in a year. Make a decision, move forward and if it is not the right one, make another one. Make progress as you pursue your passion.
Emotional connection
DETERMINE HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL
LET GO
BE INSPIRING
Mental connection
CHANGE YOUR LANGUAGE
STOP WORRYING
BE HAPPY NOW
Physical connection
DON’T WAIT FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT
PAY THE PRICE
ACT FASTER