CHAPTER 13
Feel — Think — Do … true goal alignment
The power of an emotional connection is amplified when you combine it with a mental connection and then with a physical connection. When true goal alignment is formed you no longer simply set goals; you create goals that are true to you, connected to you and aligned to you. The challenge for some people is that they know what they want but not why they want it, or they know what but they don’t know how to achieve it, or they know what and how without understanding why. In reality, the what is what we go for when we are discovering our why, and unfortunately most people get stuck at the what. Think about those questions people asked you at school: What are you going to do when you leave school? Think about at your work: What is your target for this month? We are all so focused on what that we never explore the why, and yet the why is where the reason, the emotion, the purpose and passion live. It is the source of our energy, our desire, our drive and our determination. Achieving goals is more than just taking action. First you need a plan of action; otherwise it is like driving somewhere without knowing your final destination or the milestones along the way. Then, as we learned in an earlier chapter, having a plan and taking action without knowing how you want to feel is like driving the car without a destination in mind and not knowing why you are on the road in the first place. Feel — Think — Do. The power of this trilogy is unique, yet very few people are aware of it or consciously use it, even though some people use it naturally in an unconscious way. As you read through these next few pages you will learn how to apply it in your daily life. This is why it is critical to create true goal alignment. How do you want to feel when you achieve this goal? What do you think you need to achieve to reach this goal, and what action do you need to do now to make this goal come true? Feel — Think — Do. Each of us will be stronger in one of these areas. You may be so emotionally connected to your goal that it fills your body with raw energy and enthusiasm. Or you may be a great planner and think a lot about how to achieve your goal. Then again, you may be the sort of person who makes it happen — you just get out there and do it. However, it is when we combine all three of these elements that we gain the greatest traction. By bringing together our emotional, mental and physical attributes we compound our ability to achieve better results using a whole body approach. We have this super-computer sitting on top of our shoulders so why do we use only part of it to achieve all we are capable of, all that is possible, all that we are worthy of becoming? This is where your passion comes from — your emotional connection. It is your reason why. It is about determining how you want to feel, understanding what your heart is telling you. This is about listening to your heart, not just your head all the time. If you don’t have an emotional connection with your goal you will feel uninspired, unmotivated and underwhelmed in your life. If you are emotionally overstimulated, however, you can experience a lack of focus. You may know people who are so excited about their goal and yet they rarely take action towards achieving it! Most likely they are easily distracted by the urgent, rather than the vital, and they become freshly excited about a new goal without even starting to realise the first goal. The Next Shiny Object easily distracts them. They become bored quickly and often suffer from start/stop syndrome, starting a task then stopping for no apparent reason. This is where your plan comes from. The mental connection is the ability to logically and methodically plan the attainment of your goal. In your mind you know what you need to achieve. Your head tells you to do A followed by B and going on to C. You start to map out what action steps you need to take in order for this goal to be reached. Without a mental connection with your goal you will feel lost, as though you are travelling without a map to guide you or set you in the right direction. If you are mentally overstimulated, however, you may overplan and overprepare, always looking for the perfect set of circumstances to present themselves before you get started. I call this the as soon as syndrome: as soon as I get this new job I’m going to start my saving plan. As soon as the new year comes around I’m going to start the new health and fitness plan I have all mapped out. You may suffer from procrastination — you could even be described as all talk and no action. This is where progress comes from. The physical connection is about making it happen. It is about taking action, the physical activity you do today to make this goal come true for you. When you don’t have a physical connection with your goal you will feel frustrated because you will not be taking action. For you it is all about action and making physical progress, regardless of why you are doing it or whether you have a plan. If you are physically overstimulated you can be busy being busy all the time. You can get so engrossed in doing the low-value tasks in your home and work life that you cannot see the big picture. You also get stuck in the work hard, get ahead syndrome, which means you lure yourself into a false sense of security, thinking everything will work out as long as you work hard. The magic of goal setting comes into play when you bring all three connections together in your quest to achieve the goals that are most important to you. Here is the formula in summary: This exercise will give you a quick understanding of the area in which you are strongest in order to determine the areas you need to strengthen as you create a true personal connection and use the power of true goal alignment. When you are focused on … So are you more emotionally, mentally or physically connected to your goals? Pick which one of the three areas that you think best describes you when it comes to setting and achieving your goals. There are no right or wrong answers, and no one area is ‘better’ than the others. Tally up your scores in each of the three columns. To harness the power of goal connection we need the power of all three elements working with us and for us. Now transfer each column’s total score to the pie graph below. The following table is a simple snapshot of how you may act and react depending on which of the three areas you tend to be stronger in or more focused on in your life. For example, if you are more emotionally connected to your goals, your greatest asset is the passion you have to pursue them. Your challenge may be that you can become easily distracted. The solution for achieving your goals is for you to maintain a focus on what really counts. Your friends may describe you as excited or excitable. The best strategy for you to move forward is to create a plan to encourage you to make regular progress. Most likely your driving emotions are that you want to feel inspired, energised and passionate. Energised Passionate Decisive Planned Tenacious Focused When you are strong and consistent in all three areas, you will attract, adapt and achieve your goals so much more easily.
Emotional connection
Mental connection
Physical connection
Quick Feel — Think — Do self-assessment
Emotional
Mental
Physical
Your asset
Passion
Plans
Progress
Your challenge
Easily distracted
Over-thinking it
Busy being busy
You need to
Maintain focus
Take action
Create strategy
Best described as
Always excited
Always planning
Always busy
To move forward
Plan and progress
Passion and progress
Plan
How you
want to feelInspired
Organised
Proactive