As discussed in chapter 31, people create rituals and rituals form futures. It is so simple and true. If you don’t have the future you have dreamt about, it is most likely because you have not had in place the habits or rituals you need to create the future you desire. Everything we have achieved or not achieved is a result of the rituals we have that either propel us forward or hold us back.

A ritual is an activity you engage in on a regular and consistent basis. The difference between the successes of individuals rests on the combination of successful rituals they apply. When I have interviewed successful leaders a common comment comes up: ‘I have always done this …’

The challenge for each of us is to define the rituals that best support us in our pursuit of our dreams, desires, goals and passion, while also identifying the rituals that act as roadblocks. In identifying the roadblock rituals, we need to shift our thinking from unconsciously incompetent (not knowing what rituals are not supporting you) to consciously incompetent (actually knowing what you need to improve and creating the right ritual for you).

‘YOUR RITUALS CAN BE
ROADBLOCKS OR RAMPS.’

To identify the non-supportive rituals, you need to sit down and focus on what does not assist you in becoming the best you that you can be. Once identified, determine what the opposite to that ritual is for you.

It could be that not exercising is a ritual that does not support your feeling fit and energised, so the ritual you need to adopt is to move your body daily through some type of exercise. The key is to create rituals that lift your spirit, making you feel the best you that you can be, and that generate positive proactive results. If you struggle to identify what you need to improve, you may need to work with a coach and a mentor as you journey towards your goals.

The second strategy is to identify how you want to feel. Review your driving emotions, the top three feelings you want to achieve. Then build a set of rituals around them.

For example, your three driving emotions could be energised, successful and impactful. The table below could include some of the rituals you would need to engage in each day to generate how you want to feel. The amount of water you drink, the types of foods you eat and the exercise you complete would all contribute to your levels of energy. By completing three key objectives and connecting with seven clients each day you would generate the feeling of success. Being still and reflecting on what you are grateful for or a lesson you have learned would also have an impact on your positive attitude.

I recommend that you develop at least two rituals for each emotion you want to experience each day. That way if you do not complete one ritual you may be able to complete the other and still experience the emotion.

You can use this as a checklist to measure your progress while working towards creating that perfect day of rituals. I am a realist and know it won’t always go to plan, but if you have no plan then you leave it to chance. I would rather be deliberate, choose the plan and action that plan until the rituals I require become the habits I desire.

I know I am mentally tougher and more resilient when I exercise, eat well, meditate and connect with people. It is this conscious progress that sends a message to your resistance that you will not be held captive by your past.

Start off small. What is one habit that you need to implement in your daily life, that you know is in line with your goals and how you want to feel? To begin with it is not about being disciplined in multiple areas, but about making a start and taking small steps.

Sample rituals

Here are 15 examples of rituals that can help you connect emotionally, mentally and physically.

EMOTIONAL RITUALS

1. Visualise yourself achieving your goals.
2. Review your goal journal.
3. Look at the goal board of your key goals.
4. Listen to your intuition.
5. Really connect with people you love.

MENTAL RITUALS

1. Meditate for 15 to 30 minutes daily.
2. Read books that inspire and inform you, giving you greater insights.
3. Listen to positive audio recordings.
4. Start the day with a goal and a plan.
5. Reflect on what worked, what didn’t and what you are going to do differently.

PHYSICAL RITUALS

1. Exercise on a regular basis.
2. Eat the right foods for you and your body.
3. Network with positive people.
4. Drink two litres of water a day.
5. Complete one key goal a day.

My belief is that rather than waiting until the goal is achieved, why not experience that feeling today? You want to feel and then do what makes you feel great. Habits and rituals are vital if you want to create what is most important to you and to be consistent in your life.