Index
A
ABC principle, 152
Absolutes, avoiding, 143–144
Accessibility of managers, 2–6, 47–49
Accountability
creating with follow-up, 101, 169, 184
of managers, 110
Achievable goals, 98
Achievement motivation, 34–37, 41
Acknowledgment, 183
Action plans
breaking into steps, 211
commitment to, 182–183
Action statements, 98, 105–106, 108
Activity, results vs., 157–158
Added benefits, 41
Advancement
helping employees with, 129–130, 131–132, 135–136
as reward, 201–202
Advice, 151–152
Agendas, 213
Alarms, setting, 86
Alternative questions, 74–75
Anxiety, 159–160
Apathy, 138
Apollo 13, 96
Appointments, 49
Aptitude, 197
Arthur, King, 193
“ASAP,” 165
Assumptions
abandoning, 7
about employees’ motivations, 195
about employees’ need for help, 182
about others’ feelings, 90–91
about others’ intentions, 52
about personal differences, 151
as communication barriers, 165–166
interrupting based on, 88
Athlete metaphor, 33
Attention, 85–87. See also Listening
Attraction, law of, 21
Auditory learning, 116
Audits, time use, 156
Authority, lines of, 213
Avoidance, 152–153
B
Back-handed compliments, 191
Back-of-the-business-card technique, 160
Bad news, delivering, 192–196
Bad teachers, 164
Bedpans, 137
Beginners, anticipating needs of, 134–135
Behavioral problems
ability of coaching to address, 8–9
avoiding confrontation, 142–144
Behavior change. See also Correction
achieving, 28–30
coaching focus on, 144–146
realistic expectations, 148–149
Behavior, linking rewards to, 204–206
Big-picture orientation, 22–23, 43–44, 217–218
Blame game, 170
“Bluff the Boss,” 63
Bonuses, 201
Bosses, coaches vs., 30
Boundaries, 141
Brevity of questions, 64
Business cards, 160
Business trends, 158
Busyness, 158–159
Buzzwords, 165
C
Calendar reviews, 157
Center for Nonviolent Communication, 79
Challenges, 41, 96. See also Problem solving
Change
principles of, 211–212
resistance to, 162
Cheerleaders, coaches as, 208
Clarity
asking for, 88–89
as coaching attribute, 25
in coaching sessions, 57–59
of questions, 64–65
Clichés, 58
Clock watching, 86
Closing doors, 48
Coachability, 18
Coachable moments, 102
Coaches
bosses vs., 30
cheerleader role, 207
desirable attributes, 3, 19–26
Coaching
acknowledgment and follow-up step, 183–184
action plan step, 180–182
brainstorming step, 108, 177–180
commitment step, 182–183
elements of, 16–19
fixing vs., 168–169
goal setting step, 175–176
key steps overview, 171
principles and benefits, 1–2, 6–10, 209–219
rapport building step, 173–175
self-assessment, 26–28
solution-focused, 101–103
strengthening weaknesses, 28–30, 162–163
vision casting step, 176–177
Coaching sessions, 11–14, 51–60
Commitment to goals, 182–183
Comparisons, avoiding, 195
Competence, 6–7
Complaints, 55–57
Compliments, 188–189, 191. See also Praise
Computers as distractions, 54
Concentration stage, 35–36
Conductor metaphor, 32–33
Confidentiality, 54
Confirming understanding, 100, 106, 167
Confrontation, avoiding, 142–144
Conscious competence, 122
Conscious incompetence, 122
Consequences, defining, 146–147
Constructive questions, 67–68
Contributions, motivation from, 39–40, 42–43
Control, 210
Cooperation, 9–10
Copy book wisdom, 151
Corporate cultures, 130–131
Correction
avoiding confrontation, 142–144
defining consequences, 146–147
focusing on desired change, 144–146
future focus, 149
realistic expectations, 147–148
wrong approaches, 149–153
Counseling, coaching vs., 18
Creative definitions of work, 137–138
Creativity, allowing for, 6
Criticism
excessive, 187
focusing, 22
Cues, nonverbal, 46–47
Curiosity, 25
D
Daily rituals, 156
Deadlines, 180–181
Decision making
deferring, 109
leadership in, 210–211
Defending employees, 5
Degrees of difficulty, 103–111
Delegation, 41
Demonstrations, preparing, 116
Diagnosing, 150
Differences, accepting, 210
Difficulty, degrees of, 103–111
DiMaggio, Joe, 33
Directions
appropriate detail in, 6
failure to communicate, 196
rewording, 24–25
specificity, 27–28
Distractions, 54–55, 85–87, 123
Distrust, addressing, 160–161
Doodling, 88
Drives. See Motivation
E
Edison, Thomas, 215
Editors, 15–16
E-mail feedback, 188
E-mail overload, 212
Emotional temperatures, 135
Empathy, 24
Employee Assistance Programs, 18
Employees
helping with advancement, 29–130, 131–132, 135–136
seeking input from, 3–5, 42–43, 47–49
Energy levels, 50–51
Enthusiasm, 21
Euphemisms, 68
Evaluation of training, 120, 126–127
Evaluation standards, 99–100, 106, 181–182
Evidence procedures, 99
Examples in feedback, 189–190
Excuses, 140
Expert assistance, 141
Explaining bad news, 194–195
Explanatory questions, 72
Eye contact, 87–88
F
Face-to-face feedback, 192
Facilitation, 182
Factual questions, 71–72
Failure, learning from, 215
Fairness of rewards, 205–206
False assurance, 153
False judgments, 150–151
False solutions, 151–152
Fault finding, 169. See also Criticism
Feedback
delivering bad news, 192–196
evaluating, 197–198
importance, 186
to improve coaching behavior, 30
key requirements, 187–191
open-door policies for, 47–49
preparation for, 191–192
during training sessions, 119, 125
Feelings, acknowledging, 90–91, 216
Fidgeting, 55
Fill-in-the-blank questions, 167–168
First, Break All the Rules (Buckingham/Coffman), 2
Fixing, coaching vs., 168–169
Focus
as coaching attribute, 22
in coaching sessions, 54–57, 59
of questions, 65–66
Fog, 65
Follow-up
performing, 107
for training sessions, 119–120, 126–127
Forbes, Malcolm, 214
Formulation stage, 35
Four questions checklist, 102
Frustration, acknowledging, 90
Future focus, 149
G
Gallup research, 2
Generalizations, avoiding, 143–144, 150
Generational theory, 40
Generation Y, 40
Getting started, 209–210
Global listening, 82
Goals
bad news in context of, 194
coaching focus on, 101–103
commitment to, 182–183
evaluation criteria, 181–182
explaining to employees, 5, 22–23, 43–44
relevance, 158
for training sessions, 119
As Good as It Gets, 28
Grades, 37–38
Ground rules for coaching sessions, 53–54
Gullibility, 22
H
Habits
attempts to change, 162
time wasting, 156
Hands-off principle, 116–117
Head-centered listening, 79
Heart-centered listening, 80
High-difficulty issues, 107–111
Hunt, Helen, 28
Hypothetical questions, 73–74
I
Ideas
Ignorance, 24, 114, 123, 214–215
Illusion of control, 210
Illusion of objectivity, 217
Implied answers, 68–69
Individual recognition, 189. See also Praise
Information overload, 212–213
Information sharing, 133–134
In-game, 134–135
Instructions. See Directions; Training
Intangible rewards, 204
Interest, demonstrating, 81
International Coach Federation (ICF), 17
Interrogations, 167–168
Intimidation, 161
Intrusion, 182
J
Justifying questions, 72–73
K
Kinesthetic learning, 116
King Arthur, 193
Knowledge, building, 124–125, 133–134. See also Learning
KYHO principle, 116–117
L
Lack of purpose, 155–159
Lakein Question, 214
Language barriers, 164–166
Law of attraction, 21
Leading questions, 69, 73, 87, 168
Learning
evaluation of, 126–127
from problems, 109
to read, 125
stages, 121–123
Lectures, avoiding, 57
Levels of listening, 78–84
Life, balance with work, 219
Light bulb, 215
Listening. See also Questions
effective, 85–92
levels of, 78–84
responses, 92–93
Low-difficulty issues, 104–105
Low self-esteem, 34
M
Management by walking around, 23
Managers’ accessibility, 2–6, 47–49
Mastery, 34–37
McCormick, Anne O’Hare, 211
Measurable goals, 98
Medium-difficulty issues, 105–106
Memorization, 115
Memos, 212
Mental notes, 181
Mentoring
coaching vs., 18–19
to define work, 137–138
effective, 132–137
limits, 140–141
to motivate, 138–140
types, 130–132
Metaphors, 58
Micromanaging, 95
Military protocol, 53
Millennials, 40
Mirroring, 51
Momentum phase, 36
Monologues, 57
Morale, 10
Morality tales, 151
Motivation
assuming, 195
choosing rewards, 103, 202–203
major sources, 33–40
mentoring for, 138–140
rules of rewarding, 204–206
types of rewards, 201–204
Motivational coaching strategies, 40–44
Multiple managers, 213
Multiple negatives, 65
Mycoskie, Blake, 39
Negative feedback, 187, 188. See also Criticism
Negative opinions, 151
Negative questions, 65, 67–68, 69
Neutral questions, 68–71
New employees, anticipating needs of, 134–135
Nicholson, Jack, 28
Noise in conversations, 54
Nonverbal communication, 45–47
Nonviolent communication, 78, 79
O
Objectives, 5. See also Goals
Observant coaching, 23
One Day Without Shoes, 39
One-on-one feedback, 192
One-on-one training, 120
One-way communication, 166–167
Open-door policies, 47–49
Open-ended questions, 69–71, 168
Open-mindedness, 7
Openness to ideas, 59–60
Opinion polls, 61–63
Opinions
arguing, 72
from employees, 3–5, 47, 197–198
negative, 151
as questions, 168
Opportunities. See also Goals
defining, 96–97
learning from, 109
offering to employees, 130, 196
to receive rewards, 205–206
Orchestra metaphor, 32–33
Organizational cultures, 130–131
Outlines, 115
Overachievers, 138–139
P
Parenting, 168
Passive voice, 65
Pass, play, counteroffer technique, 58
Patience, 24–25
Performance killers, 149–153
Performance problems, 7–9. See also Correction
Perspectives, broadening, 60
Peter Principle, 202
Peters, Tom, 23
Pleasure reading, 38
Pointed questions, 168
Polls, 61–63
Positive definitions of work, 137
Positive specific actions, 144–146
Positivity
as coaching attribute, 19–21, 200–201
of questions, 67–68
Praise
creating opportunities for, 10
misguided, 150–151
timeliness, 188–189
during training, 118
written, 190
Preparation
for correction meetings, 145
for giving feedback, 191
for listening, 85
to reduce anxiety, 159
for training, 113–116
Presentation Skills for Managers (Rotondo/Rotondo), 116
Presentations, preparing, 114–116
Pride, 33
Principles of coaching, 209–219
Privacy, 193
Problem solving
basic steps, 95–101
high-difficulty issues, 107–111
low-difficulty issues, 104–105
medium-difficulty issues, 105–106
mentoring’s limits, 140–141
Promotion, 203. See also Advancement
Protocols for meetings, 53–54
Psychoanalyzing, 150
Psycho-Cybernetics (Maltz), 163
Public opinion polls, 61–63
Punishment, 200
Q
Questions. See also Listening
coaching with, 26, 118, 166, 214–215
demonstrating interest with, 81, 82
effective, 63–71
misusing, 167–168
in opinion polls, 61–63
pointing to solutions, 145–146
techniques, 76
welcoming, 5
R
Rapport building, 173–175
Reagan, Ronald, 75
Realistic goals, 98
Reasons for bad news, 194–195
Recognition, 189, 192. See also Praise
Redirection, 87
Reflection, 91
Rehearsing presentations, 115–116
Reinforcement of training, 125
Relevance of goals, 158
Relevance of questions, 66–67
Rephrasing, 92
Resistance to change, 162
Respect
as coaching attribute, 23–24
demonstrating with questions, 63
in mentoring, 136–137
for people’s time, 123–124, 212–214
Response options, 92–93
Rewards. See also Motivation
basic types, 201–204
employees’ choice, 103, 202–203
rules for using, 204–206
Rhetorical questions, 167
Rituals, 156
Role modeling, 218
Round Table, 193
S
Salary drive, 33
Sandwich technique, 188
Sarcasm, 12
Self-awareness, 161
Self-coaching, 10
Self-esteem, 34
Self-knowledge, 216
Seneca, 216
Similes, 58
Sincerity of feedback, 190–191
Skybox view, 23
Small successes, 117–118
SMART goals, 97–98
Smart phones, 86
Smog, 65
Solution-focused coaching, 17, 100–102
Specificity
about consequences, 146
about rewards, 205
in describing behavior, 58, 144
of directions, 27–28
Spectators in training sessions, 124
Stable growth stage, 36–37
Stallworth, Clarke, 15–16
Starting, 209–210
Statistics, 40
Stereotyping, 150
Subjectivity, 217
Suggestions
inviting from employees, 4, 47, 135
potential responses to, 58
Summary questions, 75
Surveys
to evaluate training, 120, 127
public opinion, 61–63
Symbolic rewards, 203
T
Tangible rewards, 201–203
Teachers, 164
Therapy, coaching vs., 18
Thoughts and actions, 211
Threats, avoiding, 146–147
360 evaluations, 3
Tilting rewards, 206
Time audits, 156
Time frames
for action plans, 180–181
keeping track, 86–87
for meetings, 53
Timeliness of feedback, 188–189
Time, respecting, 123–124, 212–214
Toastmasters International, 116
TOMS shoes, 39
Total Quality Management, 40
Tracking results, 100
Training
appropriate pacing, 117–118, 124
bad examples, 112–113
delivery options, 120
hands-off principle, 116–117
for independence, 118
individual approaches, 120–121
issues before, during, and after, 118–120
from learners’ point of view, 123–126
preparation for, 113–116
Trust
as coaching attribute, 21–22
losing, 43
as reward, 204
U
Unconscious competence, 122–123
Unconscious incompetence, 121–122
Understanding, confirming, 100, 106, 167
Unsolicited advice, 152
V
Value-neutral questions, 68–71
Verbal softeners, 70–71
Vision, creating, 176–177
Visualization, 29
Visual learning, 116
W
Weaknesses, strengthening, 28–30, 162–163
Web sites
Center for Nonviolent Communication, 79
International Coach Federation, 17
Toastmasters International, 117
TOMS shoes, 39
“Why” questions, 72–73
Wooden, John, 207
Working relationships, 9–10
Work-life balance, 219
Worst-case scenarios, 149, 176
Writers, 137–138