7
What do the Successes in the Matrix do?
Debra let out a deep breath. It had been a very long week at the office. Or, rather, mostly not at the office as she had been travelling throughout the region and so her normally well-pruned inbox had grown out of control. Despite that, she had promised herself one hour to sit and consider what it took to build good relationships and trust and to succeed in the matrix.
Reflecting on the people she trusted, in and outside of work, and the people she had seen build good relationships she realized that all of them were able to work well with others. She laughed as she thought back to Johann's comment about teenagers and realized that “playing nicely” or, as we call it now “team work,” remained an important skill. She made sure her phone was off and started to write:
They…
- do what they promise
- tell the truth
- try to help
- ask lots of questions
- show vulnerability
- listen and remember what you said
- learn fast
- think about others and what they need – up, down and across the organization and outside
- are open-minded
- can communicate well with different people and groups
- build their profile
Debra paused – wow! Who can do all of that all of the time!?
She reflected that, although this list made them sound like “nice” people (and they often were, although none of them were perfect) they weren't pushovers.
Instead, they had worked out that the only way to get things done if you can't just order people to do it (and that very rarely works and even more rarely does it work for long or as well as the other options), is to influence them. And that influencing others means being able to see the other point of view (even if you don't agree with it) and understand their motivators and levers so that you can articulate things in a way that makes it clear what's in it for them.
The matrix is about getting things done even when you don't have any power, Debra continued to write. And the ones who succeeded in it understand that and act accordingly.
They don't assume they know everything – they keep up to date on the research and use this to help them get better at what they do. She thought of one guy she used to work with who used Robert Cialdini's research on influence to help him get a new benefits system accepted. Well, she conceded, he used a consultant who understood the research but at least he was open-minded enough to use the research!
Those successful in the matrix are all comfortable with change. Debra put her pen down and lost herself in thinking about the successes she had seen. They recognized change as a constant and weren't afraid of it because they had the tools to deal with it.
They know what battles to fight. And how to fight them. They understood the need to manage conflict to unsurface issues and the need to say things out loud to confirm their own understanding.
They know who they are and don't forget it – Debra remembered one leader she worked with who stood up to corporate HQ when they tried to enforce a global communication that he knew would be wrong for his team and, indeed, all the teams. Under pressure, he stood up for what was right and he had the relationships and track record to get it. Is that “authentic leadership” Debra wondered?
Debra considered something her father had said: “nothing happens until someone sells something to someone else. Especially if it's an idea”. And the people she'd seen succeed knew how to do that. In other words, they think about things from the point of view of others. And make sure their communications take these different perspectives into account.
They recognize leadership in others, realizing it is not a function of title but rather an attitude and set of behaviours and they generously mentor and develop others. Debra reminded herself that they do this not only because they get something out of it personally but because it improves the resources (humans!) available to get things done.
They really understand the overall strategy and how what they and others do support this and they share that so that everyone sees how they contribute to the business. Debra reflected that this helps them to manage competing objectives and priorities – often one of the most important battles in the matrix.
They hold people to account – immediately and in a way that helped them rather than belittled or bewildered them. Debra thought about the people she saw failing in the matrix and realized how often she heard them use excuses like “well, I'm not their manager” to avoid holding people to the promises they made.
They believe that a real team means conflict and they encourage that. It's so natural to want to avoid conflict and to think that will help a relationship but when we don't get everyone's views upfront we make poorer decisions and it's difficult to get full commitment and so successful implementation on any decision made.
They listen and are aware that “in order to be understood, you must first understand”. The successes spent time understanding the pressures others were under so they could help them where possible. Debra thought of a project leader she knew who always remembered the end of quarter nightmare for accounts and adjusted their meeting agenda to take this into consideration and give the finance team more time when they were under the most pressure.
They always think of others – remembering to connect people and help. Not because this is the “nice” thing to do but because it gets them results. Debra recalled a story an MBA class-mate of hers had told in defence of his role in internal communications which had been coming under some fire. The young man had explained that, because of his position, he travels extensively and so has informal conversations with people in various functions. More than once he had been able to identify individuals in the same function with the same problems but in different countries. He then helped them connect – often through the functional head. The help he provided to others improved his relationship with them and made it easier for him to get things done.
This reminded Debra of a key behaviour for success in the matrix: they understand that authority comes from personal relationships and so they make sure to spend time developing these. When Debra reviewed the people she saw succeed in the matrix she realized that they put in the time in advance to build relationships and they stayed in touch. They weren't “users” who only got in touch when they needed something. And so they were remembered: when an interesting project or role came up, they were at least considered.
They lead by example and understand the power of symbolism. Debra thought about the new CEO she had heard of who had to impose strict cost-cutting throughout the organization. He made sure that he and all of his team never left a room without turning off the lights and the AC and ate with the rest of the workers in the canteen. Needless to say, everybody else joined in too. Of course that, on its own, wouldn't be enough but it sure sent a message.
They are open about their own needs. They can say that certain working styles are easier for them to deal with than others and they are clear about where their limits are. Debra admired this ability, most of all as she struggled with it every day.
They are flexible and able to react appropriately in different situations – although always themselves they adapt differently in different situations. This wasn't as easy as people thought – Debra reflected as she thought of one colleague who, although a great guy to have a coffee and chat with (clients liked him for this), didn't seem to understand that he had to behave differently when with clients in the boardroom. She was sure that this was limiting his career. She wondered if maybe he didn't know that it was important?
“Hmmm,” Debra thought, rubbing her hand which now ached. “How could he not know that? Surely he can sense the atmosphere? Or maybe he can't? Maybe he's good at all the other things on that enormous list and this is just a blind-spot? Or maybe, like me with the ability to be open about my own needs, he knows it but doesn't know how to get better at it? Only needing to get better at one of these things would be pretty impressive,” she conceded. “I can see why the matrix can be so stressful if you need to do all of these things!”
Debra continued to write. Perhaps most important of all they recognize how important these skills are and so they spend time honing them and practising them.
“Those who can behave like this have got it made, assuming they are technically skilled as well of course, because they can access all the information and resources they need, get people behind an idea and really make an impact to the business,” Debra thought. “But what if you're just not that kind of person? What if this stuff doesn't come naturally?”
She looked at her phone and, remembering that she had to be at the cinema at 9.30, Debra turned it on and started to get ready.
Key Takeaways