Working in the matrix is hard. That's what anybody I've ever spoken to who works in one says. Many of them say that it is the only option, however. They recognize opportunities exist in the matrix; but almost every person and a significant amount of research point to turf wars, confusion over accountability, competing geographical and functional targets, lack of clearly defined roles, and too many people involved in the decision-making process, as some of the problems caused or exacerbated by working in a matrix.

To find out how best to deal with these issues I have talked to hundreds of managers, directors and executives during training courses and coaching sessions. I've formally interviewed dozens of individuals entrenched in organizations that use the matrix structure. The answer seems to be that the “soft” skills we often wait to train people on until after they need them are key to success in the matrix and, possibly, in any job.

This book is a story about Johann, a senior manager, recently converted believer in “soft” skills and desperate to keep Debra, a high-potential, highly educated member of “Gen Y” who feels like she's not getting enough attention. It asks whether emotional intelligence (EI) exists and, if it does, how is it useful in working within a matrix? And of course, if it exists and is useful, then can we learn it?

My story is based on what I have learned from clients, many of whom work in a matrix organization. What is striking is the similarity of their experiences across industry, job function, level in the organization, cultural background, age or sex. It appears that it's always difficult to get people from different cultural backgrounds (whether nationality or functional or organizational) to do what you want when you don't understand why they resist, especially if you can't force them and have no control over their pay or conditions.

The personalities and events in this book are not based on any individual but reflect the stories I have heard and the situations I have seen over the years. The issues are challenging because to resolve them you need what the best leaders and companies have, and what the Corporate Leadership Council identified as playing a critical role in the matrix – strong communication skills, teamwork, adaptability, and shared goal and rewards systems. Without these (and they are not easy to get) the issues most commonly faced are lack of accountability, frequent conflicts over allocation of resources, and division of authority – none of which are good for the bottom line.

Johann and Debra exhibit a mixture of all the great attributes I see in my clients – listening, questioning, open-mindedness, generosity, thoughtfulness, determination, and pragmatism. Of course they aren't perfect but then who is? Their faults and opinions are all entirely made up of course.

The matrix isn't going away: in a European survey conducted by Krauthammer, an international professional services company, published in 2006, 85 per cent of people said that some form of matrix was present in their organization. This leaves us with two choices – to devote as much time and energy to honing the “soft” skills that lead to personal and organizational success as we do to building our technical skills or to rail against the tides like King Canute. I hope this book persuades you to do as Johann does.