Chapter 3
The Effective Managers versus the Challenged Managers
Our research design called on the human resource department of each organization in our study to provide us with three managers who were considered to be effective at managing Millennials and three managers who were perceived to struggle with managing Millennials. We conducted one-on-one interviews with each participant and then facilitated a focus group among the six managers.
We were surprised to learn that both populations (the effective and the challenged) perceived the Millennials similarly. Words such as entitled, brash, and smart were common in all of the interview transcripts. The focus groups produced no discord or strong disagreement between the groups. Both the effective and challenged managers shared frustrations and experiences that aligned. Many of the participants left their interviews commenting that the experience was therapeutic for them.
If both populations of managers perceived Millennial employees the same way and had similar experiences with them, then what differentiated the good from the challenged? We begin by reporting what did not differentiate the managers. As we stated in Chapter 1, many believe that parenting has shifted from a focus on training to nurturing. One of our early hypotheses was that women would be better at managing Millennials than men. However, our data did not support such a notion. We also thought that managers who were parents of Millennials would be better at managing them in the workplace; another misconception we had to let go.
In the first edition of our book, we did not have a sufficient number of Millennials who were managers to adequately compare them to our data set, so we could not say whether they are better at managing their own age cohort than managers who are older. In Chip's recent book, Millennials Who Manage, he and coauthor Joel Schwarzbart state that Millennials score high in empowering employees, and their employees acknowledge them for the following strengths:1
- They are relatable.
- They have a fresh perspective.
- They are open-minded.
- They have energy and enthusiasm.
- They understand new technologies.
- They are helpful.
- They are understanding.
It stands to reason that Millennials get Millennials. But even older generations appreciate the aforementioned strengths. As you will see, many of the effective managers in our study shared the same qualities.
One characteristic that stood out among the managers who were considered to be good at managing Millennial employees was that most of them had served as a volunteer in a youth organization (Little League, AYSO, YMCA, Boys and Girls Club, Scouting, church youth group). One grocery store manager talked about how much he learned as president of the local Little League. Many of the kids he had met through that experience ended up working in his store during their high school and college years. We identified two critically important characteristics required of anyone who volunteers to work with young people: (1) the ability to initiate a relationship, and (2) the patience to set expectations according to where the young person is, not where you want him or her to be. Both skills can easily be transferred to the workplace.
As we continued to sift our data, we found that the single most important differentiator between the effective managers and those who were challenged is that the effective managers exhibited the ability to suspend the bias of their own experience. In other words, they started with the Millennial's experience and not their own. Some of our challenged managers would say, “What experience? They have no experience!” If someone cannot suspend the bias of his or her own experience, that person will insist that “the way I did it” is the blueprint for everyone else. The inability to suspend the bias of one's own experience will inhibit self-reflection or learning. For instance, “Why am I so bothered by the fact that my employee wants to blend work and life?” “What threats do Millennial values represent?” More important, “How will I need to change?” One manager we spoke to claimed to have lost three marriages and favor with his children because of his work ethic. He resented his Millennials for prioritizing family and friends over work. Obviously, his projection onto the Millennials kept him from facing his own stuff.
Simply put, failing to suspend the bias of one's own experience excuses managerial leaders from the adaptive work that is required of them to manage in today's world. Part of the adaptive process is getting outside of the orbit of your own experience and entering the world in which Millennials live.
An underlying premise of this book is that the people with the most responsibility have to adapt first. It may sound cliché, but by setting an example, managers will create an environment in which the less mature will adapt. Adapting does not mean acquiescing to the whims of an individual or a generation. Adaptive managers have the ability to create environments that allow for enough discomfort so that people will feel the need to change but safe enough so that they can change. We think that generational rapport is critical to creating such an environment.
Mind-Set
Perspective, or mind-set, is critical to performance. We discovered six areas in which the effective and challenged manager perspectives significantly differed (see Table 3.1).
Table 3.1 The Different Mind-Sets between Effective and Challenged Managers
| Perspective | The Effective Managers | The Challenged Managers |
| Adaptability | Talked about their own need to change to manage in today's world | Talked about how others needed to change to make it in the real world |
| Self-Efficacy | Believed there was something they could do about the situation | Believed that there was little they could do about the situation |
| Confidence | Allowed their subordinates to challenge them (ideas, processes, ways of doing things) | Sanctioned or punished their subordinates for challenging them |
| Power | Used the power of relationship versus the power of position | Felt the only power they had was their positional authority |
| Energy | Working with twentysomethings made them feel younger | Working with twentysomethings made them feel older |
| Success | Saw themselves as key to the twentysomethings' success | Saw the twentysomethings as an impediment to their own success |
Adaptability
The effective managers in our study considered the challenge of managing Millennials a personal growth opportunity. Although frustrated or even puzzled, these managers constantly referred to themselves as needing to learn and enhance their own management skills. The challenged managers talked about how their subordinates just needed to grow up and face the real world. Although there is some validity in such a perspective, the focus of their frustration was projected onto what others needed to do, not on their own personal development.
Self-Efficacy
We explain the juxtaposed outlook by noting that the effective managers had an internal locus of control. That is to say they believed they could do something about their dilemma. Consequently, the effective managers were more optimistic about their future and the potential of their Millennial employees. On the other hand, the challenged managers exhibited an external locus of control. They viewed the Millennial challenge as something that happened to them, and they were powerless to do anything about it. They believed themselves to be victims of circumstance. It is not that they did not want to be good at managing Millennials, they just did not know where to start or what to do.
Confidence
The effective managers talked about allowing their subordinates to challenge them. At times, the managers even provoked a challenge if they did not perceive follower commitment or understanding. They spoke of making the effort to be a better listener, allow for debate, and being open to embracing the ideas of others. The challenged managers were threatened when questioned by their subordinates. They sanctioned noncompliant followers. They used their power to adversely impact scheduling, time off, and opportunities for promotion of employees who questioned them.
Power
Another clear difference between the two groups of managers was how they viewed their position and authority. When the challenged managers experienced relational tension they defaulted to using the only thing they had—their positional authority. Overuse of positional power usually manifests itself in declarative statements like, “I am the boss” or “I have been doing this since before you were born.” If you find yourself spending more time proving yourself rather than expressing yourself, you may be relying too heavily on your positional power. When faced with relational tension the effective managers opted for relational power and used positional authority as a last resort. They considered empathy as being key to building trust with Millennial employees. One manager said, “If they know you care about them, they will go to hell and back for you!”
Energy
One of the more common phrases we heard from the effective managers was, “Working with them makes me feel younger.” They spoke of being energized by the optimism, creativity, and raw enthusiasm Millennials bring to the workplace. The effective managers talked about the high value Millennials place on work being fun. Obviously, productivity and protocol were important to the effective managers, but they did not see anything wrong with embracing the emphasis on fun. Take an interest in what they are interested in, but do not try to be a twentysomething. They do not expect to be the best of friends; they just want you to be friendly. Conversely, the challenged managers lamented about how the Millennials made them feel older. They particularly do not like what Millennials listen to, what they wear, or what they did over the weekend. In fairness, many of the challenged managers were trained to not fraternize with their subordinates. One manager said, “I was taught not to build a relationship with a subordinate because you may have to fire 'em someday.” It is what we call self-protecting behavior. It is difficult, if not impossible, to build trust without a relationship.
Success
Perhaps the most telling differentiator between the effective and challenged managers was that the challenged managers considered Millennials to be an impediment to their own personal success. One manager commented, “I am a very good manager and I have always gotten along well with others, but they make me look bad.” Another said, “I don't understand them; I just don't hire anyone under age 30.” The effective managers viewed themselves as being key to the Millennials' success. They referred to personifying roles such as mentoring, counseling, advocating, sponsoring, and teaching. Their success was linked to the success of the Millennials they worked with.
Following Up with Human Resources
When we completed the analysis of our data, we were fascinated to discover that, with the exception of only a handful of managers, we agreed with the selections human resources (HR) made for both the effective and challenged groups. We returned to our HR leaders and asked what criteria they had used to select the participants. They explained that the challenged managers struggled with turnover, complaints, absenteeism, communication, and low productivity. The effective managers did not. We asked the HR leaders if they knew what differentiated the two groups. They could see the aforementioned negative outcomes, but they were not sure what precipitated them.
We want to reiterate that all of the participants in our study desired to be successful managers. Much of their job-related anxiety was tied to not knowing what to do about their frustration with the Millennials they managed. Although the ability to talk about it was helpful, simply seeing that others had similar experiences to theirs was not sufficient. Equipped with the competencies we identified in the good managers, it would not take much adaptation for many of the challenged managers to move into the effective group.
Our intention in the next few chapters is to move beyond generational finger-pointing to real solutions. We unveil what we learned from both the effective and the challenged managers. You will be able to identify what you are doing right and what may be inhibiting or undermining your effectiveness. New behaviors can be learned but are difficult to sustain without the support of right thinking. Our hope is that you are compelled to examine your own thinking with respect to managing across generations.
You are now far enough into the book to realize that you as a managerial leader really are the main character. When we first started to research generational tension in the workplace, we identified managerial leaders as key to the solution because they have the greatest amount of responsibility and influence with respect to daily duties and interactions. That, coupled with the well-established fact that employees leave managers and not organizations, we believe that equipping managerial leaders is the best way to address the challenge of integrating Millennials into the workforce.
In his bestseller How, Dov Seidman argues, “It is no longer what you do that sets you apart from others, but how you do what you do.”2 The effective managers in our study showed us how to manage.