Chapter 15
Mentoring Millennials
We decided to add a chapter for those who may or may not be managers but formally or informally mentor Millennials. If you are a parent of a Millennial, you may find this chapter most useful in helping your young adult succeed at work. As a parent, whatever the level of your involvement in the past, your young adult may need you more than ever—in the right way, not as an advocate but as a coach or a mentor.
There is nothing more frustrating or unnerving for a parent than sacrificing time and resources in a young adult's future only to see her or him struggle while making the transition into work life. Sometimes the disappointment is with the son or daughter but more times than not the disappointment is the result of an organization not seeing the potential greatness in him or her that the parent does and not understanding why. Note: We are not talking about helicopter parents!
Today's young adults need all of the help they can get. Their generation has the highest unemployment rate (13.2 percent, conservatively speaking) in the country and makes up 40 percent of the entire unemployed population.1 The job market is highly competitive, and making a good first impression has never been more important. If they are fortunate to find a job, it is likely they will get frustrated and leave it within 18 months due to the challenges they will face. We believe that mentors and parents can make all of the difference in the world when it comes to a young adult getting a job and successfully transitioning into work life.
While Chip was doing international research for his book Millennials@Work,2 he identified a set of challenges young professionals face when they enter the workforce. In the same way that understanding the core competencies for managing Millennials helps managers focus effort, understanding the challenges Millennials face can help concentrate the work of mentors and coaches.
The reality is Millennials prefer being coached or mentored to being managed. Mentoring relationships can break down the barrier of generational difference and create a place for a conversation with rather than about the other. Mentoring can also help Millennials fit into organizational culture, which ultimately leads to alignment with the organization's values and goals, a pride in belonging, and longevity.3 While mentoring relationships can facilitate organizational commitment, perhaps, more important, they are critical to what we discussed earlier—the transfer of tacit knowledge.
The type of mentoring relationship primarily addressed in this chapter is considered traditional in that it refers to an interpersonal relationship between a more experienced individual (i.e., the mentor) and a less experienced individual (i.e., the protégé) for the purpose of personal development.
The research for Managing the Millennials was an inductive study—meaning that we started with an observation (generational tension in the workplace) that culminated in a theory for why it exists (see Chapters 1 to 4). The previous findings led to a deductive study in which Chip began with a hypothesis (the way Millennials are perceived in the workplace could potentially create roadblocks for them as they enter the workforce) and worked toward confirming or disproving his theory.
It is our hope the following information can help you better focus your time, attention, and conversation as you coach or mentor Millennials.
Challenges Millennials Face in the Workplace
The metaphor we use for challenge is roadblock. Roadblocks keep us from going where we want to go. At best, they delay us or detour us. At worst, they stop us. The study involved 775 young professionals from around the world (Asia, Europe, Australia, Africa, Latin America, South America, and North America).4 The respondents were all fully employed and had been in the workforce for one to five years. They were asked, “As a young worker, what do you perceive to be your biggest challenge in the workplace?” Table 15.1 is ordered in frequency of response and compares the challenges with what Millennials want.
Table 15.1 Challenges Millennials Face in the Workplace Compared with What They Want
| Challenges | What Millennials Want |
| A lack of experience | To have more opportunity |
| Not being taken seriously | To be listened to |
| Not getting respect | To be accepted |
| Being perceived as “entitled” | To be rewarded for work |
| A lack of patience | To be promoted faster |
| Getting helpful feedback | To know how they are doing |
| Understanding expectations | To know what is expected of them |
| Miscommunication with older workers | To have a good relationship with older workers |
| Rigid processes | To have a say in how they do their job |
| Proving my value | To be recognized |
It is important to point out that Millennials are very self-aware. For instance, they know they lack experience, lack patience, and struggle to communicate with older workers. Arguably, those are the areas in which you can help them the most as a mentor. For instance, some experiences are transferable. You need not touch a hot burner to know it will burn if you observe someone else do it. When it comes to being impatient, we all need someone who can listen to our frustrations and talk us out of doing something impulsive. As a mentor, you are in a unique position to help Millennials understand how they are perceived and the impact it has on communication with older workers.
We will share strategies for overcoming all of the roadblocks, but first let's examine the correlation between how managers perceive Millennials and the challenges they face (Table 15.2).
Table 15.2 Comparison of Manager Perceptions of Millennials and Challenges Millennials Face in the Workplace
| Manager Perceptions of Millennials | Challenges Millennials Face in the Workplace |
| Autonomous: Millennials express a desire to do what they want when they want, have the schedule they want, and not worry about someone micromanaging them. They don't feel they should have to conform to office processes as long as they complete their work. |
Rigid processes: An emphasis on process that is restrictive to working faster, smarter, and more effectively. Being process-oriented rather than outcome-oriented. |
| Entitled: The attitude expressed by Millennials that they deserve to be recognized and rewarded. They want to move up the ladder quickly but not always on managements' terms. They want a guarantee for their performance, not just the opportunity to perform. |
Being perceived as entitled: Older workers thinking that Millennials want everything to be handed to them without them having to earn it. |
| Imaginative: Millennials are recognized for having a great imagination and can offer a fresh perspective and unique insight into a myriad of situations. Their imagination can distract them from participating in an ordered or mechanistic process. |
Rigid processes and proving my value: An emphasis on process that is restrictive to working faster, smarter, and more effectively. Being process-oriented rather than outcome-oriented. Proving their value to management. In particular, “How assertive should I be when it comes to asking for more responsibility or opportunity?” |
| Self-absorbed: Millennials are perceived to be primarily concerned with how they are treated rather than how they treat others. Tasks are seen as a means to their ends. Millennials are often preoccupied by their own personal need for trust, encouragement, and praise. |
Not getting respect and not being taken seriously: Millennials consider themselves to be problem solvers and innovators but get frustrated when their ideas are not entertained or are readily dismissed. The experience of being treated differently just because of their age. They talk about not being readily accepted into the culture of the company because they are young. They are made to feel that they do not belong in important work situations. |
| Defensive: Millennials often experience anger, guardedness, offense, resentment, and shift responsibility in response to critique and evaluation. They want to be told when they are doing well but not when they are doing poorly. |
Getting helpful feedback: Frustration when feedback is nonexistent, untimely, or vague. |
| Abrasive: Perhaps due to technology, Millennial communication style can be experienced as curt. They are perceived to be inattentive to social courtesies like knowing when to say thank you and please. Whether intentional or not, their behavior is interpreted as disrespectful or usurping authority. |
Miscommunication with older workers: Difficulty when it comes to communicating with older workers. Difference in communication style from other generations due to technology. |
| Myopic: Millennials struggle with cause-and-effect relationships. The struggle is perceived as a narrow-sightedness guided by internal interests without an understanding of how others and the organization are impacted. |
A lack of experience: Millennials are keenly aware that they lack work experience and know of the limitations it places on them with respect to getting what they want. |
| Unfocused: Millennials, as a cohort, are recognized for their intellectual ability but are often perceived to struggle with a lack of attention to detail. They have a hard time staying focused on tasks for which they have no interest. |
Understanding expectations: Confusion about what is expected. A mismatch of expectations. |
| Indifferent: Millennials are perceived as careless, apathetic, or lacking commitment. |
A lack of patience: High expectations about the speed of career development and having difficulty being patient when they are not progressing fast enough. |
As a coach or a mentor, you now have useful information for addressing needs of Millennials relating to their experience in the workplace. Your role is very similar to what Linda Dulin found young adults want in a leader.5 Her research participants—business students from three universities—named the following roles most desired: counselor, cheerleader, role model, cohort (friend), feedback interpreter, and sounding board. We hasten to point out that such roles are more likely to be found among mentors and parents than corporate executives. In Table 15.3, we show the correlation between what Millennials want in the workplace with what they want from their leaders.
Table 15.3 Comparison of What Millennials Want in the Workplace and What Millennials Want from Their Leaders (Leaders list, Nancy Dulin, 2005)
| What Millennials Want | What Millennials Want from Their Leaders |
| To have more opportunity | Assignment broker: For access to challenging assignments |
| To be listened to | Sounding board: For ideas and strategies |
| To be accepted | Cohort: To give you a sense that you are not alone |
| To be rewarded for work | Reinforcer: To give you rewards |
| To know how they are doing | Feedback provider and interpreter: Information for performance improvement |
| To know what is expected of them | Point of comparison: Evaluating one's skills against an expert's |
| To have a good relationship with older workers | Counselor: For tough times Role Model: For example of high/low competence |
| To have a say in how they do their job | Dialogue partner: To discuss different perspectives |
| To be recognized | Cheerleader: To boost your self-esteem |
In the next section, we will share strategies that the young professionals in Chip's study found valuable to overcoming the perceived roadblocks they encountered.
Strategies for Overcoming Roadblocks at Work
One thing to point out that may not seem like a big deal but is important to understand—the challenges Millennials face fall into to three categories––things about them, things about their manager, and things about their relationship with their manager. We point it out because Millennials have more control over themselves than the other two categories. They have some control over the quality of relationship they have with their manager and the least amount of control when it comes to the behavior of their manager. That being said, the strategies will help Millennials grow in locus of control over all three areas. People who feel their behaviors or efforts can make a difference in desired outcomes are more likely to develop self-efficacy (confidence in the ability to exert control over one's own motivation, behavior, and social environment). In Table 15.4, we label the challenges with varied levels of locus of control.
Table 15.4 Challenges and Degree of Locus of Control
| Challenges | Locus of Control |
| A lack of experience | Most |
| Not being taken seriously | Least |
| Not getting respect | Least |
| Being perceived as entitled | Least |
| A lack of patience | Most |
| Getting helpful feedback | Least |
| Understanding expectations | Moderate |
| Miscommunication with older workers | Moderate |
| Rigid processes | Least |
| Proving my value | Most |
As you can see in Table 15.4, some challenges are easier to address than others. We suggest you begin working on the challenges Millennials have the most control over (lack of experience, lack of patience, and proving my value). Perhaps the most significant coaching you can offer is in the area lack of patience. Being perceived as entitled, self-absorbed, defensive, and indifferent can be the result of acting impatiently. In their research, Blount and Janicik suggest that patient people differ from impatient people in three key areas: (1) the ability to evaluate why they are having to wait, (2) understanding other people's responsibility for the delay, and (3) taking responsibility to adapt to the situation.6 The mentoring role is perfect for helping Millennials understand why they may not be progressing at the pace they expect. We will talk more about practicing patience later in the chapter.
In Table 15.5, we match the challenges Millennials report facing with strategies for overcoming them.
Table 15.5 Challenges and Strategies for Overcoming Them
| Challenges | Strategies for Overcoming Challenges |
| A lack of experience | Identify people with experience (mentors) and ask them a lot of questions |
| Not being taken seriously | Take responsibility for everything you control (communication, work, dress) |
| Not getting respect | Be respectful |
| Being perceived as entitled | Show gratitude and express appreciation |
| A lack of patience | Try to understand your manager's perspective and keep being persistent in your effort |
| Getting helpful feedback | Ask specific questions about your performance |
| Understanding expectations | Ask what is expected, listen, and then tell them what you heard them say |
| Miscommunication with older workers | Build a relationship by taking an interest in them |
| Rigid processes | Do it their way effectively and then offer your ideas for improvement |
| Proving my value | Align your strengths with the organization's needs |
No doubt your mind is already filled with ideas for the next time you have the opportunity to meet with your mentee. In the next section, we have synthesized the challenges and strategies into seven skills Millennials need for overcoming the roadblocks they face at work. The skills are from Chip's book Millennials@Work.
The Seven Skills for Overcoming Roadblocks
Skill 1: Build a Relationship
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Self-Absorbed
The working relationship with a manager is key to job satisfaction, as well as the primary way to gain knowledge, expertise, and greater opportunity.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials build a relationship with their manager: (1) taking an interest in the manager, (2) actively listening, (3) match communication medium, and (4) show appreciation.
Skill 2: Go for the Details
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Indifferent
They might think they've done a great job, only to find out that it isn't what their boss wanted. Asking for the details allows them to do good work, gain confidence, and remove uncertainty.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials go for the details: (1) avoid assuming you know what is expected, (2) accept the risk of asking a stupid question, (3) pick the right time and place to approach your manager about expectations, and (4) check in early and often with respect to your work.
Skill 3: See the Big Picture
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Myopic
They can limit their potential and opportunity for promotion if they are content with what they already know. Understanding the big picture positions them to understand decision making, to participate in problem solving, and to become more valuable to the organization.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials see the big picture: (1) thinking systemically, (2) developing an awareness of organizational culture, (3) staying curious, and (4) asking why without sounding like a whiner.
Skill 4: Know When to Focus
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Unfocused
They may consider multitasking their biggest advantage over older workers; however, it is often perceived as a weakness by managers. Knowing when to focus can help them accomplish important projects and filter out the interruptions that may distract them.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials know when to focus: (1) dividing focus work (writing, designing, trouble-shooting) from responsive work (answering e-mail, returning phone calls), (2) scheduling distraction-free time for focus work, (3) communicating without distraction (take earbuds out, look up from the computer), and (4) don't wait to be asked to turn off technology in a meeting.
Skill 5: Go for Feedback
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Defensive
If they don't accept constructive criticism, they will distance themselves from people who can help them. Going for feedback demonstrates a willingness to learn and to accept critique. The last thing they want is for their manager to stop giving feedback.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials go for feedback: (1) asking for feedback on specific tasks or projects, (2) picking the right time to ask for feedback (the manager's mood or workload), (3) avoid being defensive, and (4) not take things personally.
Skill 6: Be Accountable
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Autonomous
Managers and customers don't care about reasons or excuses for a poorly done job. When they agree to be accountable for specific results, their accomplishments give them satisfaction and create opportunities for more freedom and responsibility at work.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials be accountable: (1) increasing their competence, (2) being dependable, (3) taking responsibility for their work, and (4) avoid blaming and making excuses.
Skill 7: Recognize Your Value
Roadblock: Being Perceived as Entitled
Up until the time they entered the workforce, their world was set up to guarantee their success; once they enter the workforce, there are no guarantees. Recognizing their value ensures that they and the organization are on the same page and prepares them to make a difference.
Four important things to focus on with respect to helping Millennials recognize your value: (1) identifying where they fit in the organization, (2) knowing how to create value for the organization, (3) aligning what they want out of work with what their organization needs from them, and (4) using their strengths.
If you have read this far, you know as much as we do plus what you know. That should make you an expert!
In the End
We hope our book helps managers and mentors feel more competent, better equipped, and more relaxed so that they can enjoy their Millennials. We believe the nine competencies will help create environments in which both managers and Millennials will thrive. Just as we wish success to each individual and organization we work with, we wish it for you and your organization. For the Millennial generation, we have a special wish—make our organizations better. You can do it!