6

Invest in Yourself

The most important investment you can make is in yourself. When I say “invest,” I mean giving your time, attention, or energy to something with the expectation of a worthwhile result.

I suspect you are known as someone who gives your energy to making the world and workplace around you a better place. Consider this: you are worth your own investment, too—and this means you have to make time for the things that matter most.

By prioritizing and investing in your personal growth while advancing your career and developing as a leader, you demonstrate to yourself that you are worth the same time, attention, and energy that you give to others. Remember, you have to first invest in yourself, so others will invest in you, too.

In this chapter, we’ll explore how to focus on the right things, create habits to sustain you, and value this investment in yourself—even when you’re pulled in different directions.

FOCUS ON YOUR BEST AND HIGHEST USE OF TIME

To focus on the right things, you have to understand how to measure your best and highest use of time. For many years, I have had a small index card above my desk in my office to help me focus on my top priorities (see figure). On the card is a rectangle divided into four quadrants: “important/urgent,” “not urgent/important,” “urgent/not important,” and “not urgent/not important.” This visual reminds me that how we spend our time is a choice.

Prioritization Matrix

This quadrant visual is based on the Eisenhower Matrix, developed by former President Dwight Eisenhower and popularized by Stephen Covey.

Let’s review the quadrants and how they can help you prioritize: “important” refers to a project’s value, and “urgent” refers to a project’s timing. With this in mind, “urgent/important” and “not urgent/important” will be your top priorities.

You can sense what is both urgent/important, and you’re likely spending time on the things in this quadrant, which include time- sensitive issues, crises, deadline-driven work, external pressures on top priorities, and the last-minute rush for big projects.

The things that are not urgent yet important tend to slip lower on your to-do list, because there isn’t a specific deadline or other issue require your attention sooner—but they’re still important.

To make progress on these “not urgent/important” priorities, you need to plan for them. First, define or set a date that you will complete the project. Then estimate the amount of time it will take you to do the work, and add these blocks to your calendar.

Here are two examples of how to implement this strategy in your work:

Scenario #1: Developing a New Initiative for the Organization

Next month, you’ll be presenting to a committee of your boss and peers on a new initiative for the organization that you’ve been working on. In the meantime, your inbox is full, and you have a stack of documents to review that are due by the end of the week. You still have plenty of time to develop this project, even though you know it will take a lot of time to finish drafting and preparing for the presentation.

STRUCTURE

1. Set aside an hour each week for the next four weeks to work on the presentation deck and rehearse your remarks.

2. Instead of writing on your calendar something abstract like the name of the initiative or “work on project,” divide the work into four even parts and label your calendar accordingly.

3. With protected time on your calendar during the workday, you will avoid late-night prep sessions. When you sit down to do the work, you can refer to the specific part of the project instead of scrambling to figure out which parts you’ve completed and which one to work on next.

Scenario #2: Working Toward a Promotion

To prepare to ask for a promotion, you want to rewrite your job description and prepare materials about your accomplishments to share with your boss, but there may not be a true timeline for presenting this to your boss.

STRUCTURE

1. Create a self-imposed deadline. Determine when you want to show the materials to your boss and work backward from there to prepare your materials.

2. Put the deadline on your calendar, along with two 30-minute blocks of time when you’ll review and prepare.

3. When you have these blocks on your calendar, you will be better positioned to prioritize this work—and your growth—during the workday instead of trying to fit it in between your other meetings.

You can adapt this type of planning structure to focus on whatever your top priority scenario is amid other deadline-driven projects.

• • •

Here’s one more tip to keep making progress on your priorities: make the time that you have work for you. Many time experts will tell you if something on your to-do list can get done in 15 minutes or less, do that thing first. While I’m no time expert, that’s not how I approach things. If you have 15 minutes to get something done (it may be your only free 15 minutes that day between meetings), I suggest asking yourself this question: What is one thing you can do to move forward something that is important but not urgent? Sure, you won’t complete it, but you can and will make progress.

Keep this in mind for other examples of things that are not urgent yet are important: building your network and other relationships, learning, and rest. This is the basis of this chapter: investing in yourself by understanding what is the best and highest use of your time and prioritizing these things accordingly.

While we would like to think we spend most of our time on the important things in our life, the reality is that we all actually spend much of our time with the urgent/not important tasks, or worse, the not urgent/not important. This includes emails, some meetings, everyone else’s projects, scrolling through Instagram, and requests where someone else could have figured out the situation on their own. Sometimes these things are handed to us, and sometimes we do them to ourselves. When you’re feeling most overwhelmed or anxious, refer to the diagram and realize you’ve likely allowed other people’s urgency to become your own.

In this case, you need to determine which things you can delegate, delay, or drop.

Focusing on your best and highest use of time, the things that are urgent/important or are not urgent/important, allows you to preserve your energy. When these things don’t get done, there are often consequences. When the “not urgent/not important” things don’t get done, either you’ll do them another time, or they just won’t get done at all. When you keep pushing yourself to do all of them anyway, you’re not able to show up as your best and highest self.

Here’s what I want you to keep in mind as you sort through what you need to do when: This system isn’t really about time. It’s about who you are as a leader and what you value—which are both urgent and important.

DEVELOP BOLD MOVE PERFORMANCE PATTERNS

Your work responsibilities take up the majority of your day, but they don’t have to be the majority of your life. Try to increase time for priorities that can help you grow as a person, which I call Bold Move Performance Patterns. These can include learning, hobbies, exercise, and rest. Developing new Bold Move Performance Patterns will enhance your happiness, health, and quality of life. And choosing to incorporate any of these into your life will provide you with an opportunity to focus on your own joy, reinforce to yourself that you are worth investing in, and build your creativity in the process.

Learn Something New

People who make a commitment to learn on their own will advance faster in their careers. There are many ways to do this, including attending conferences, lectures, or online training courses.

Another accessible (and less expensive way) to learn something new and invest in yourself is to read more. This is such an enjoyable way to learn but seems to be the first thing to go when we feel pressed for time. It feels luxurious, and sometimes frivolous, to sit down for an extended period of time “not doing anything.” But research shows that reading reduces stress, in addition to building your knowledge.¹

Choose books on topics that make you want to prioritize your reading time over other activities. If reading about art history brings you joy, then read that. It doesn’t matter that it’s not related to your career. If it will make you feel grounded and growing, then it’s the right choice for you.

Reading doesn’t have to be done solo, either, unless you prefer it that way. If book clubs are your thing, that’s a great way to con nect with others and motivate yourself to read. You can also coordinate with a reading buddy to discuss a book or topic. I have several girlfriends I enjoy doing this with who live thousands of miles away. It is a fun way to catch up and learn together at the same time.

If the idea of reading books still feels overwhelming, maybe pick up a few articles on topics you enjoy. Give yourself 10 minutes before work, during your commute, or before bed to get started. Feeling like you can’t even find 10 minutes to read? Try swapping out scrolling through social media to read an article instead.

Podcasts are a solid alternative to reading. My podcast, One Bold Move a Day, is a six-minute weekly podcast to help women develop their careers and leadership that can be an easy place to get started. To get the most benefits out of learning via audio, I encourage you to take notes. It changes your mindset from consuming content to implementing ideas. If you’re looking for a way to socialize what you’re learning, form a podcast club to discuss episodes of the group’s favorite podcasts.

Find a Creative Outlet or Hobby

Another way to invest in yourself is to think about what kind of projects you gravitate toward. How do you enjoy spending your time when you’re on vacation or not at work? These answers will give you a better idea of the hobbies or creative outlets that will help you thrive. Making time for these is important, even when you feel stretched, because they will ultimately bring you more energy.

Your creative outlet could be baking, or pottery, or dancing, or any one of a million ways to use your imagination. To incentivize your behavior, try combining your creative time with something else on your schedule that has a deadline. For example, maybe you volunteer to make baked goods for the next neighborhood gathering. Or maybe you take a friend or your child to the pottery stu dio with you. Maybe you color while you wait at your next doctor appointment. Research shows that creativity benefits your mental and physical health, including decreasing your stress levels and strengthening problem-solving skills.² While more time would be better, even five minutes is enough to achieve these benefits, so go ahead and get started somewhere.

Move Your Body

Are you the type of person whose exercise routine is deeply ingrained in your daily life, or do you go out of your way to avoid the gym in your building? I’ve fluctuated between periods of looking forward to exercising and wishing to do just about anything else. I’m the person who made fun of runners (because why would anyone do that on purpose?)—and then became a runner. I’m also the person who shunned the idea of group fitness (because it feels like everyone’s watching you when you exercise in a group)—and then showed up four days a week at a studio. Maybe I’m not the best person to give advice on exercise, but the point is this: embrace where you are in the moment and work toward some kind of consistent movement because the benefits are incredible.

In fact, researchers at the University of Michigan found that more physical movement was generally connected with happiness, and that even as little as 10 minutes a day for one to two days a week could show results.³

So if you’re someone who struggles to get started on those harder days, just remember that 10 minutes is enough. And, hey, you might be like me and realize halfway through the workout that you feel great and want to keep going.

And if you’re struggling to get back out there, try this. When you get home from a run or finish a class you tried to get out of or weren’t motivated to do, write yourself a note. It doesn’t have to be long. Just say how you feel and maybe what you’re proud of. Then the next time you feel like you don’t want to get out there, look back at this note for the motivation you need to get it done.

Rest (and Take Your Vacation!)

Rest is often overlooked as a performance tool. The truth is that rest is essential to your ability to reach your full potential.

I have a habit my family and I refer to as “one more thing.” You might have this, too. It’s best described as a feeling that you can get just one more thing done before you finish up. And it can happen often. “Oh look, there’s two minutes before the next meeting, I can get through just one more item on my to-do list.” Or at the end of the workday, you have just one more email to send before you can shut off for the day. On the weekend, you can run just one more errand. No matter the example, you (and I) aren’t really being efficient with time, we’re often just trying to do more in less time. Doing this can come with negative consequences like being late to the next meeting, not giving the people in your life your full attention, or feeling exhausted all the time. All this hustling can lead to burnout and exhaustion—and it doesn’t always get you where you want to go faster. At some point, you need to rest instead.

Rest comes in different formats and has many physical and mental health benefits, including an increase in your creativity,⁴ decision-making,⁵ and motivation,⁶ while also decreasing your stress levels.⁷ Let’s look at a few different types of rest you can and should prioritize in your life.

Sleep

Before I get started, I want you to know that I’m not going to try to convince you to wake up at 5 a.m. to reach your big dreams or to have a specific morning routine. Instead, you can make Bold Moves by simply creating a schedule that maximizes your ability to show up as your best self. To do this well starts with being mindful about the amount of sleep you get each night. I’ve been known to fall asleep on the floor … in the middle of the day. To be clear, this is not the kind of sleep I’m talking about. Your body will shut down when you’re exhausted, but if you get to that point, you’ve likely missed several warning signs.

You are aware of the research on the importance of getting seven to eight hours of sleep a night,⁸ and still this may not be enough of a motivator to do so because of everything you need to get done. Here’s the thing: your lack of sleep affects more than just you—it also affects everyone around you, especially if you’re a leader.⁹

Be proactive about your rest, so you can keep going and help others keep going, too.

Vacation

Many years ago, our family took a weeklong trip to the mountains. At the time, I worked for an organization where immediate communication was valued. I prided myself on being the most responsive colleague, but this took a toll on other aspects of my life. While we sat in the hotel room before our hike that first day, I looked at my phone and watched the number of messages in my inbox steadily rise. I knew myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t be able to ignore this number as the day went on. While it might start as checking just one email, it could quickly turn into responding to multiple things. And even if I wasn’t responding, every time I looked at my phone, it would divide my attention. So, I decided to turn off notifications from my work email. It would be as if it wasn’t there at all.

As I switched the button to “off,” I felt myself making a radical shift in how I spent my time with my family—both on that vaca tion and at home, because I still haven’t turned those notifications back on.

The joys of vacation go beyond your time off, too. Research shows that anticipating your vacation boosts your happiness.¹⁰ So before you go, spend time thinking about your trip. Visualize what you’re most looking forward to. After you return, reminisce about your experiences by looking back at your photos or mementos you picked up that help you relive the positive moments.¹¹ (Research shows sharing your vacation memories has the potential to create positive feelings for others, too!)¹²

Vacation doesn’t have to mean far-off locations and extravagant travels. It could be anything from spending your time hiking a trail to reading a good book, starting a new hobby, or trying out a recipe. You make choices about how to spend your time, wherever you are.

Maybe you’ve told yourself, “If I keep working hard and don’t take time off, I’ll be rewarded at work.” After all, they’ll see how dedicated you are, and you’ll also score valuable face time with higher-ups. But here’s the reality: People don’t get promoted for dedication. They get promoted because they put in the work and make the case for themselves. Your well-earned time away from the office may be exactly what you need to put yourself into the frame of mind to excel in your job when you return and advocate for your growth in ways beyond answering emails. In case you need a little more convincing, studies have shown that people who take vacations are more likely to be promoted, so take your vacation!¹³

Productive Rest

Sometimes the best solution in a specific situation is not to step away from everything, but to create more intention around what you’re choosing to do, which is what I call “productive rest.” To generate the best outcomes from productive rest, I suggest you set some guidelines about how you define rest, how long you plan to rest, and how you’ll know when to keep going.

1. Clearly define what “rest” means to you. Decide which activities you’re reducing or eliminating—and if you plan to replace them with something else. For example, if you decide you don’t want to exercise, does this mean you’re going to sleep in, or will you use the time to write in your journal or read instead?

2. Determine what your timeline is. Are you resting for an hour, a day, or a week? Be specific about the plan, so you work toward your own expectations. When you proactively set the timeline, you retain control over the process, instead of letting your exhaustion or frustration drive it.

3. Be accountable. When you’re ready to get back to your work, invite others to help you stay accountable to your goals. Tell a friend or colleague about your plans so they can support you.

Then keep going. Step by step.

YOUR RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI) IN YOURSELF

The term “return on investment” (ROI) is thrown around a lot in the corporate world, and this concept applies to you, too. There’s an ROI from your intentional investment in yourself that will benefit you today and in the future.

When you allocate time for learning, you will develop new skills that can enhance you personally and professionally. When you allocate time for creativity, you will renew your energy. When you allocate time for your health and well-being, you will build your physical and mental strength. All of these investments will support you in showing up as your best self.

Though this chapter is about investing in yourself in a metaphorical sense, there is a literal ROI that we should talk about, too. You should invest in yourself by asking for what you want and deserve financially and setting yourself up for financial success. Somewhere along the way when women were told to be nice, this also translated into our negotiations. Money became something that we weren’t supposed to talk about. Our attitudes about money start when we are children, and those experiences can inform how we behave as adults.

Money can control you, or you can control it. If you live on your own, spend some time writing in a journal about what money means to you and what you hope to accomplish in the future. If you have a spouse or partner, talk openly with them about what money meant for you growing up, even if you never worried about having enough, and how you think about it now. Be clear about what you want to prioritize, the things you want to save for, and what your financial fears are.

Set yourself up for financial success by negotiating your salary, saving for retirement, and establishing financial goals. Get comfortable talking about money and asking questions about wealth. Learn how to give money to organizations that are important to you and find joy through philanthropy.

These investments in your skills, learning, health, and finances will help you create the life you want.

STOP FEELING GUILTY

The final step of investing in yourself is accepting where you are in the moment and letting go of guilt. Feeling guilty holds so many women back. It’s something that comes up often in hushed conversations—if at all. In fact, it might be holding you back right now:

• You may feel guilty about working or guilty about parenting—or guilty for doing both.

• You may feel guilty for wanting to leave your employer.

• You may feel guilty about your ambition.

• You may feel guilty about taking time to do anything for yourself.

• You may feel guilty about putting your well-being first.

• You may feel guilty about resting.

• You may feel guilty about asking for too much.

Dear one, please stop doing this to yourself.

If you feel exhausted from doing it all, I’m with you.

But we all need to realize that this guilt limits us from taking on what is best for us and being our best selves.

Guilt steals your ability to be in the moment: it makes you think you should be somewhere else, doing something else, or worrying about the past. It robs you of your present and future joy.

You deserve great things. Right now.

Honor your decisions and free yourself from overthinking them.

You offer compassion and grace to everyone around you, and now it’s time for you to offer it to yourself.

Let go of feeling guilty. In this moment. This is precious time we have here, and you deserve to live it fully.