7

Lead from Where You Are

People often ask me how they can advance their career and become a leader. Here’s what I tell them: You are a leader. Yes, you.

Whether you manage people or not, you can be a leader. Leadership isn’t about title or authority. It’s the energy and purpose by which you lead yourself each day and how you serve others. That’s what I mean when I say, “Lead from where you are.” It starts with understanding everyone can lead regardless of their role in the organization. Approaching leadership this way means you have an opportunity to influence and inspire others no matter what stage of your career you’re in. In time, you’ll be ready to raise your hand for projects, and this can turn into more formal responsibilities at work.

It took time to figure out in my early career that you can lead without a fancy job title or being at the top of the org chart. I treated my first big job like I was still in school, where you’re told what to do and evaluated (and rewarded) by how well you follow directions. After all, this was how women were taught the world works. I waited for a boss to tell me what to do or copied what colleagues did. Working this way got the job done, but it led to me feeling unaligned with my own actions. I kept meeting others’ expectations, but I didn’t feel like I was meeting my own. I didn’t feel like myself.

Finding your authentic leadership style and voice will take time and practice, but the first step is to remember three things: you have the power to positively affect others, you have the ability to move projects forward, and sharing your voice matters—none of which requires a top leadership position.

Whether you’re just entering the workforce or trying to navigate a large, complex organization 15 years into your career, it can be easy to confuse positional power—the formal authority a person holds—as the way to get things done in an organization. The truth is, titles (and corner offices) are great, but they will get you only so far. This is something I learned the very hard way in my first management role where I led the way I thought bosses should—by telling people what to do. Authority may get the job done, but you’ll find yourself alone at the finish line.

When you build influence in your organization, collaborate with others, create value for your boss and your team, make your contributions known, and navigate workplace challenges, you’re on the way to leading at any level. Let’s dive into each together.

LEAD WITHOUT A TITLE

There are distinct ways you can develop your leadership approach even when you’re only responsible for managing yourself. Leadership means serving others, so you’ll want to build relationships to understand what your colleagues need, create opportunities to share your expertise, and be known as the go-to for advice and counsel.

Practice Active Listening

Though it seems fairly obvious that people want to be listened to, it can be hard to consistently give people your full attention in our always-on world. You can differentiate yourself by being someone who actively listens, which builds trust and relationships. Research shows that how you listen is even more effective in leading others than how you communicate.¹

Active listening is more than helping someone else feel heard. It’s being truly present and attentive. Do this by looking others in the eye (or at least the screen), and give them other nonverbal cues, such as minimizing your movement or other distractions. Repeat back to them what they’ve said, but not word for word. You can start by restating what they’ve said, “What I hear you saying is. …” This way, the person can clarify anything you’ve misunderstood or confirm that you heard them correctly. It shows you listened closely enough to be able to rephrase what they said to you, which required you to be fully present. Doing this can feel awkward at first, but don’t worry—it doesn’t sound as awkward to the person who’s hearing it. In fact, it will feel exhilarating, because they will know you’re truly listening to what they have to say. The benefits of listening go beyond making others feel valued—you’ll also gain new information.

Understand the Organization

In addition to understanding your role, spend time learning what everyone else in the organization does, too. Try to find ways to connect the dots or collaborate across teams. I truly believe this is one of the ways I got to where I am in my career. Here’s what this looked like for me: My boss told me to familiarize myself with the names of all the advisory board members for our organization. After I reviewed all their names, I did a little homework on my own time about their backgrounds and companies. If I found news articles about the board members, I kept my boss informed. I also listened closely in internal meetings to the strategies my boss and my boss’s boss were working on and found ways to add value. When I came across information of interest related to their strategies, I sent it along, and I did the same for my colleagues. As a bonus, my expanded knowledge helped me build connections in external meetings when people referenced their relationships with the board members.

Build Your Power

Don’t give up your power by thinking you don’t have any. When people seek you out in your day-to-day for advice or strategy because of what you know, this is a sign of what you bring to your organization. Being the colleague who is relied upon for her expertise gives you the ability to influence—regardless of where you may be in your organization. What you know and how you’re willing to share it with others is your expert power. Consider how you can leverage your superpowers to contribute to your colleagues.

If you want to build your power further, continue developing your learning, too. Take a course online or attend webinars, read articles, listen to podcasts, and sit in on departmental meetings (even if they’re not directly related to the work you do). You can develop this knowledge for good use for you and for your colleagues.

Collaborate with Others

Everyone wants to work in a collaborative work environment. Few organizations truly achieve it. Instead, people tend work in siloes, and as a result, breakdowns occur. It might sound idealistic, but the truth is you can make collaboration a reality in your workplace by leading the way for you and your colleagues.

Collaboration occurs when two or more people approach a situation or problem with their own ideas and then work together to develop an idea or solution that’s even better than what one of them could have come up with on their own.

To build this kind of collaborative relationship with someone you work with, follow these three steps:

Step 1: Set up a meeting to discuss the problem you’re trying to solve or develop the process you want to create. Practice actively listening to each other’s ideas, not just representing your own. Sometimes collaboration means working so closely to develop a strategy that you eventually don’t remember whose ideas were whose!

Step 2: Clearly define roles, frequency of communication, and how you’ll relay updates with each other. I recommend creating a shared document for each project that outlines all of this information, so everyone involved can reference it later as needed.

Step 3: When there are roadblocks or issues, bring all parties back together to revise or create a new strategy, even if their part of the project is not directly affected. Having everyone invested in the solutions develops buy-in and provides additional perspectives.

Collaboration should be the goal for leaders, but many mistake this for cooperation and coordination. Cooperation is when two people work independently, but don’t interfere or step on each other’s toes. Coordination is when two people work toward a common goal, but not necessarily together. While it is possible to get things done without collaboration, you can create better work products together. And collaboration means everyone is invested in each other’s success, versus solely their own, which contributes to a more positive work environment.

Support Your Colleagues

You spend much of your time at work, so it makes sense to find ways to support the people you spend this time with. Whether it’s high-fiving a colleague when they secure a new client or sending someone a note when they’re having a tough day, your colleagues will be grateful for your recognition and the opportunity for connection. Research shows that providing support for your colleagues affects your personal happiness, too.² (It apparently can also predict the likelihood of a promotion, though that shouldn’t be your specific motivator!)

In one of my first jobs after college, I decided to start a tradition of bringing homemade treats to a staff meeting for every colleague’s birthday. This coined me the nickname “Birthday Fairy,” which I loved because I knew my gesture made the colleague feel special and brought everyone together. By choosing to support my colleagues in this small way, my actions created meaning. This was an early career lesson for me that the little things are the big things.

Don’t wait until you’re in a position of authority to help care for others. You may not be able to change your organization at a macro level, but you have the power to bring joy to others. Over time, you will be seen as the employee who can contribute by unifying the group toward a common cause. Here’s the secret: as you progress on your leadership journey, your success is truly based on your team’s success.

LEAD BY CREATING VALUE

There’s a misconception that leadership means things happen for you or to you. In reality, leadership requires you to create opportunities. I’d like to share an example of this in action from early in my career.

After listening to colleagues’ concerns about needing structure and role clarity for our growing external-facing team, I worked with my boss to create a process for the organization that had not existed before. This project leveraged my natural ability to understand how to align a donor’s goals and expectations with what the organization needed to accomplish.

In reviewing names of new prospective donors and considering the fantastic colleagues I worked with (who all had different strengths), I paired donors and staff for a mutually beneficial and positive working relationship. I was basically solving a puzzle with tremendous upside for the organization—and I was good at it. This work both fulfilled my interest in developing solutions to raise more money and benefitted my colleagues, too. It’s also real-life proof that you really don’t have to manage people to positively influence them and their work outcomes. (And as a bonus, even 15+ years later, the work I did on this project remained part of my role in every subsequent organization I worked for.)

If you want to create opportunities to show your leadership abilities but you’re not sure where to get started, consider which activities bring you the most energy or what problems you think you can solve for the organization. Remember those superpowers we talked about earlier and put them into practice! Some ways you can do this include sharing ideas with your boss about how you believe you can contribute to the team or showing your interest in taking on new challenges. If you don’t have the opportunity to work on something specific right away, that’s fine! Whatever tasks you’re given, bring enthusiasm to the work that you do. Value isn’t only made by the outcomes of your projects, but what you put into them.

That being said, when you raise your hand or suggest something you’d like to work on, know that not all ideas are created equal. Keep in mind the concept of “wise productivity.” If you volunteer for a project that benefits you without understanding how it will affect your colleagues or ignore others’ concerns, you’ve missed the mark. If you overdo your efforts to support the organization to your own detriment, you won’t be successful either. The goal isn’t to burn out while you build.

As you lead from where you are in the organization, you’ll start to be recognized (in a good way!) for your ideas and work product—and it will become even more important for you to make sure your value is seen by leaders and decision makers in your organization.

MAKE YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS KNOWN

It’s your responsibility to make sure your boss and other higher-ups know the value of your contributions. Even if you’re a superstar in your role, you can’t rely on this being front of mind for other people, including those who determine your future growth opportunities. This means you’ll need to gracefully and consistently communicate your worth. And you can’t afford to miss this part, because it plays a critical role in your advancement at work.

Talk About Your Accomplishments

Formal performance discussions (hopefully) provide you with an opportunity to share how you contributed to the organization over the last year. While these conversations can be incredibly beneficial, it’s time to get comfortable talking about your projects and outcomes the other 364 days of the year. There is an art to graciously sharing your accomplishments, and it involves being authentic in your pride, your motivations, and your timing.

You can begin to infuse updates about your contributions into everyday conversations. For example, when you find yourself in a Zoom meeting with the big boss before others join or ride the elevator with a more senior leader and they ask, “How are you?” In either situation, instead of the usual “Great, thanks,” try this, “I am working on/recently completed [project name] and we learned [brief outcome].” It makes for a much more engaging conversation, and you highlight what you’ve been working on.

From there, you can work your way up to sharing your expertise with larger audiences by teaching a “lunch and learn” at your office, presenting an overview of your work at a town hall or team meeting, or even volunteering to lead a cross-functional team project.

Send an NNTR Update

As important as it is for all senior leaders in your office to be aware of your strengths, you should focus on building this aspect of the relationship with your boss specifically. One of my go-to strategies to communicate your contributions clearly and consistently with your boss is the NNTR Update—as in “No Need to Respond.” This is an email update you send to your boss once or twice a week to share on your own terms the priorities you’re working on and what you’ve accomplished. When you can’t necessarily have a water cooler conversation or stop by the boss’s office, it’s a chance for you to maintain contact and stay visible.

You can use this approach in multiple ways: send a note to share updates, vocalize your priorities and everything you have on your plate for that week, or ask questions about a challenge you’re having. This is helpful for both you and your boss to have a reference of what has happened each week, which will be valuable for performance evaluation conversations or asking for a raise or promotion later on.

Plus, by labeling this email NNTR, you free your boss from any need to reply while still doing your part to advocate for yourself and manage up. (That being said, I do hope you’re working in a place where you feel supported and valued with or without these emails.)

If you want to put this NNTR Update into practice, you can use the following template:

When possible, be sure to include anyone you have collaborated with, any big meetings you have, or even something you’re excited about.

You can and should personalize these templates so they suit your communication style and your boss’s. For example, these updates can happen on a monthly basis instead of a weekly basis.

NAVIGATE WORKPLACE CHALLENGES

When you think about leading from where you are, it’s also important to understand how to navigate different factors that can work against even your best efforts. Let’s walk through a few of the most common challenges you may face today.

Office Politics

Understanding the structures and systems in the workplace environment requires political savvy, often referred to as office politics. I hear many people, particularly women, say they don’t like to play office politics. I understand why, but here’s the thing: if you’re not playing the game, someone else will be. So, instead of pushing the concept of office politics to the side and thinking of it as petty gossip and whispering behind each other’s backs, it’s time to reframe our thinking and see this part of the job for what it really is.

Office politics means understanding organizational dynamics, the way you influence the people around you, and how you advocate for yourself to get what you and your team need. When you reframe office politics this way, it becomes much more accessible—and important—because not being involved can lead to missed opportunities to advance your career. There are ways to be conscious of office politics and to help them work for you, without selling your soul, so let’s walk through the steps.

Step 1: Understand How the Organization Works

Before you start to “play politics,” develop an understanding of how your organization operates, including who holds power and how ideas are shared. You can get a sense of this from listening in internal meetings and observing interactions. If you have a trusting relationship with your boss, you can ask them who the decision makers are in other departments so you can be aware. Also keep an eye out for who gets promoted and which departments they’re in. All of these will factor into your plan of how to navigate the organization.

Step 2: Make Genuine, Proactive Connections

Once you have a sense of the way things are done, it is important to start to proactively connect with the influential people in your organization. This means building genuine relationships, taking a real interest in other people’s projects and roles, and getting to know the people you work with—directly or indirectly—in a deeper way. You also want them to know who you are and want to support you.

As you build these connections, you will form a better understanding of how people work and what motivates them. You’ll also get a broader view on the organizational culture—and you might even make some new office friendships.

A word of caution: it’s as important to foster some kind of relationship with the people in the office whom you don’t necessarily get along with but who could (negatively) affect your work, too. Think of it as a “strategic alliance,” which you need to thoughtfully invest in to achieve your goals.

Step 3: Put Politics to Work for You

Now it’s time to put politics to work for you. This means being clear on your goals and the organization’s goals and putting your influence and expertise to work in order to achieve both. It also means being aware that you will have to rise above the things (or people) that might get in the way and focus on how to move the work forward, rather than let others drag you down. Along the way, do not lose sight of the importance of proudly sharing what you’ve accomplished.

You see, even when your projects have been successful, the real work is just as much about speaking up for yourself and telling people about your results and effort. When I missed the mark on understanding office politics earlier in my career, I vowed I wouldn’t make this mistake again and I would help coach other women to be better prepared.

You owe it to yourself to learn about the politics in your organization and how to navigate them, even if it feels uncomfortable. I get it. I was taught that there are three things you don’t talk about at work: religion, money, and politics. I know that kind of politics is different than what we’re talking about, but these unwritten rules are part of what hold women back in their careers. So the next time you question whether to share about your work or use your influence for yourself, remember what could be lost if you don’t.

Bias at Work

Bias at work results in making quick judgments about people based on their personal experiences and cultural background—and unfortunately, it happens every day. Clients and friends share with me that they’ve heard comments about their race, ethnicity, gender, age, weight, and pregnancy status from potential hiring managers, colleagues, and others. I’ve personally experienced bias at work, too.

No one should ever be devalued or disrespected for being who they are. If you do experience bias at work or are concerned about it being an issue at some point, I suggest the following:

• Find a network. Connect with other colleagues who can relate to and understand your perspective, which will help reaffirm your role and belonging in the organization. You may find this community with an internal employee resource group (ERG) or an external professional development association. Don’t have one of these communities you can connect with? Start one. It will be a wonderful leadership opportunity for you and a welcomed resource for others.

• Watch your language. Your own language matters and can contribute to reducing bias in the workplace. Practice saying people’s names correctly as a way to honor who they are. To avoid ageism in the workplace, remove the words “young” and “old” from your work vocabulary. One way to start doing this when you catch yourself is to say, “early career” or “late career.”

• Talk to your manager. If you’re experiencing bias at work, thoughtfully approach your manager about what you’ve been dealing with. Be prepared to give specific examples. It’s possible your manager isn’t aware of the situation, as they may be working to disrupt their own biases, too. If you were passed over for a project or assignment, see if you can get more insights on what your manager wants you to do differently. When you’re having conversations like this, keep documentation (your own notes or emails). Though I hope it doesn’t come to involving HR or legal ramifications, it’s always a good idea to keep track of things.

No matter what point in your career you’re in, it’s important to be aware of the role bias can unintentionally play at work. Ultimately, organizations are strongest when we have diverse perspectives and backgrounds at the table, and we still have work to do to get our workplaces to where they need to be.

• • •

You add value to your organization through the experience and energy you bring, whether you’ve been working for 2 years or 20. Lead yourself accordingly.

Leading from where you are is more than an opportunity—it’s your responsibility. Stop waiting for a magical moment to be a leader, and apply what you’ve learned here in this chapter. Your time to lead (with or without a title) is now.