PREFACE

HONOLULU IN SEPTEMBER: The air is full of the aromas of summery islands. It is just my good fortune that I’ve been welcomed to give a speech at the University of Hawaii. Hawaiians always impress me as being happy and free-spirited. After my speech, I grab an Uber; I want to spend some time out by the ocean looking at the waves.

“What’s there to do or see in Waikiki?” I ask the driver.

“Resort A’s club is pretty cool. Restaurant B has pretty killer live band performances. It’s a Friday night. You ought to go and loosen up.”

My Uber driver, Anthony, breaks out in a smile. He looks in the rear-view mirror at me, still formally dressed for my speech.

I am sort of a mess on the inside. I start to review my thoughts. “The places or things that most people find relaxing don’t actually calm me down . . . Am I the only person like this?”

Even though I still struggle with anxiety and often feel alone, I’ve become very successful. When the forum for my speech moved back to Asia, my speech broke the record for audience size; the number of attendees was twice that of the last record for that venue. Even though the lecture hall was packed with people, the audience (mostly introverts) was quiet and peaceful from start to finish. Many in the audience politely made way for seniors and opened up space for parents who had brought their kids. When I was signing books after the speech, people let those who had traveled from far away come up to the front of the long, snaking queue so that they wouldn’t be late in getting home.

When you’re an introvert, you often come across people who assume that everyone wants to go to a party to relax or that if someone doesn’t seek out conversations, that person doesn’t care about them. I have found that a large part of my career has been resisting such stereotypes and forging my own path when it comes to these ways of the workplace.

Although I was born and raised in Taiwan, I have worked several competitive jobs, both in the professional sports industry and for a state government in the US. Currently, I work as the Asia Pacific network manager for an international organization, managing teams from more than twenty countries. I have spent a long time learning that, aside from the introvert-extrovert dichotomy, there’s also a cultural aspect to everything. One-hat-fits-all doesn’t work. I’ve managed absolutely brilliant people whose abilities have all been underestimated simply because they don’t like to flamboyantly market themselves; I’ve met many Asian-Americans and Asian parents who worry about themselves or their kids not being able to compete with others in the job market or workplace because they fear being seen as “kind of quiet.”

Earlier in my career, I was constantly made uncomfortable by similar thoughts, but even after reading several books on introversion, it didn’t help much. I was still unable to find a method for coolly speaking up in a meeting, for talking confidently when I was up on stage, or for elegantly building relationships in social situations. However, after more than a decade of trying, I am finally able to do these things. I now want to share all that I’ve learned with you. More importantly, I want you to know that introverts have ways of discovering and honing themselves and their strong-points—of shining brightly in the workplace and of effortlessly switching between communication styles when they are in different cultures.

Everything I relay in this book is from my own experiences and stories about them. But setting them down has not been easy; being out in the open with my struggles causes me a lot of anxiety. After my book first came out in Taiwan, people would occasionally recognize me when I was out shopping at Costco or reading at a bookstore, or going about my daily life in some other way, inducing unexpected pangs of fear in me (even though the average person might mistake them for surprise). But after a while, I learned there was nothing to be afraid of. Each time I am recognized, I see people’s eyes blaze full of thanks and appreciation. I know I am like other introverts in the community who help each other without thinking twice about it. I know that if I were asked to write this book again, I’d do so in a heartbeat.

This book has helped many people in Asia and has had numerous positive reviews. Whether you’re someone searching for your own niche in your workplace, someone who is looking to cordially deal with conflict among people of different personality types, or, like me, you’re someone who has to regularly meld into different cultures, I hope reading all the tips in this book helps you gain some insight and benefits.

Let’s now return to my Hawaii story with the Uber driver, Anthony. He recommends bars and clubs to me just as he does for countless other ride-sharers. He tells me something that surprises me after he finishes, though: after he gets off work on Friday, all he really wants to do is just chill on his comfy couch, crack open a beer, and veg while watching TV. “Oh, I thought you were interested in what everyone else is into,” he says when I agree that I have similar inclinations. “We aren’t just ordinary people, ya know? We’re superpowered introverts!” I laugh in reply.