“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

—Winston Churchill

Leaders with a growth mindset have courage. We all know this intuitively. But what does it really mean? For me, it means that they show their mettle in tough situations and they excel at making difficult decisions. It's showing your courage by your deeds, not just words. It becomes much more difficult to have courage to make the right decisions if you don't feel good about yourself as we discussed in managing yourself and self‐care. Confidence may be the center key, but you need, skill, knowledge, experience, and the right attitude to move forward with courage.

Moving Through Fear

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing things people say you cannot do.”

—Walter Bagehot

Having courage does not mean never being afraid. It means being able to act despite your fears. The more you run away from your fears, the more they grow and the more power you give them. Great leaders confront their fears head‐on. Visualize a successful outcome.

One of the fears I had early on in my career was a fear of speaking in public. As an advisor, I desperately wanted to lead seminars and I knew my fear of public speaking would stop me from achieving this goal. To conquer my fear, I started bringing in guest speakers for my seminars. At first, I would simply introduce my guest to the group. Over time, my introductions got longer and longer and eventually I became the main speaker.

Consider this:

1. Name a fear you have.
2. Ask yourself: What am I afraid of losing?
3. Think of a way you can move through it.

Leadership requires courage because leadership requires us to act according to what we believe is right, even when it is difficult. Courageous leadership is the ability to operate without a safety net in order to serve our principles and our values. Courageous leadership means doing the right thing even when there is a personal or professional cost.

Ask yourself:

• What decisions or actions in my professional life require the most courage?
• Do I routinely act with courage, even when there is a personal or professional cost? Or do I compromise in the name of short‐term peace?
• Do I have the courage to listen to, and to really hear, dissenting opinions from clients, advisors, and partners?

The Courage to Hire and Fire

Nowhere is courageous leadership more apparent than in the realm of hiring and firing talent. Have the courage to hire the right person for the job instead of the safe person. Unfortunately, in our field it is common for CEOs to replace their direct reports not with the best candidate but with the person who needs to be placated (for example, someone who has threatened to leave the firm). When making hiring choices, the most important thing you can do is to attract the right people for the right roles and hold them accountable—and that takes competence, confidence, and courage.

You need to have courage to fire people, too. If you make the hiring decisions, you will inevitably make some mistakes. But living with a mistake just because you made it only compounds it. There are many reasons why someone is not the right fit for the office or firm. Have the courage to do the right thing on behalf of the entire team and all stakeholders. A bad hire is a detractor from the culture you're trying to create. A friend of mine, one of the most experienced managers I have ever met, likes to remind leaders that people who work for you and people whom you report to are not your friends. You need to understand yourself that you're running a business; therefore, in spite of how much you like someone, don't confuse your job as a leader with “friendship.” Be friendly and build relationships but remember they're not your friends. Personally, it took me a long time to truly understand that, because I tried to build deep, close relationships over time. But friendship can never stop you from serving all the stakeholders. Managers who operate that way just want to please everyone and be liked, but at the end of the day they are not running a business. As my friend would say, “We are not here to acquire new friends.” It's not just about whom you hire or fire. It's about making the right decisions without getting overly emotional about the outcomes, which is certainly easier said than done.

Critical Insight: Leaders, Bullies, and Respect

Awareness about bullying has come a long way. However, it still exists today in corporate America. You may not want to label it bullying, and that's fine. Let's call it being disrespectful, or call it having an overinflated ego that causes others to feel very uncomfortable. Call it what you wish, but the leaders who are humble, respect others and admit mistakes will always outshine the narcissistic leader—they are servant‐leaders. They don't abuse power; they give power. No ifs, ands, or buts. When a leader walks into a room, he says, “There you are!” with enthusiasm. When a bully walks into a room, he says, “Here I am. Look at me.” Have the courage to stand up to bullies and those who are arrogant and disrespectful. If you don't, your regret for not standing up will never leave you. I have witnessed many arrogant bullies in my life and I blame the firms that tolerate that behavior.

Bullies cannot be tolerated in any organization. One bully is detrimental to an organization's entire culture, energy, and productivity, whether he or she is an advisor, manager, CEO, or client. Bullies do the following:

• Dominate and intimidate others
• Lack empathy
• Ridicule and demotivate others
• Surround themselves with people who acquiesce to them
• Lack the ability to trust people
• Withhold information
• Act in an aggressive and emotionally immature manner
• Tend to be hyper‐focused on taking power, credit, and recognition
• Demand their followers serve them
• Exhibit selfish behavior by focusing on themselves rather than the team
• Are quick to judge
• Are often passive‐aggressive
• Are unable to see other points of view
• Offer solutions based solely on their worldview
• Blame others for their failures

Tolerating bullies in your organization affects your profits and productivity. It is that simple. Eradicate them immediately.

Consider this:

• Have the courage of your convictions. If you work for a bully, calmly express how you feel and say why the bully's behavior is not appropriate. Stay cool and calm and, above all, professional. If the person continues with inappropriate behavior, go to human resources. No one should have to work for a bully. If you feel that that's the environment you're working in and you have seen that you are not able to change that culture, then you need to leave. And that takes courage.

One of the benefits of writing a book and being a speaker is the fact that you meet a lot of very smart, motivated, and passionate people. I have the highest respect for the people I have interviewed for this book. Dave Kelly is one of those smart executives who really gets it. I had the pleasure of meeting with Dave in his beautiful Toronto office in the TD tower. From the 35th floor the views are pretty cool. Dave leads the wealth businesses that serve high‐net‐worth Canadians for TD in Canada, about 1,200 advisors. He is one of those special individuals who can talk strategy and vision at the highest levels and also have that coaching‐like conversation with a frontline advisor. Based on my experience most people in our business can't do both well.

The first thing that struck me about Dave was his humble style and the strong conviction of where the business is going. In the business 20 years, Dave said, “I have never seen change happening so fast.” But he is embracing this change because he believes technology will enhance the client experience. He is also the first to launch a fully integrated high‐net‐worth wealth management offering with brokerage, private banking, private trust, and discretionary investment management aligned under one leadership structure. Over time he wants to move toward a truly client‐centric team compensation model, and no doubt he knows that's a tricky task to tackle. In such a model, the investment advisor is the quarterback, the key relationship person.

Like most people, Dave believes to truly meet client needs you must deliver advice beyond investments. He feels the discovery meeting is by far the most important meeting and one an advisor should never delegate to someone else: “Value creation is in the discovery meeting. High‐net‐worth clients are not generally as price sensitive as other client segments, but they are very value sensitive.” They are prepared to pay for advice and service that is highly valuable and valued. He went on to say that after 2008, clients' expectations on collaboration are much higher. He wants his advisors to find out “Who is important to you? What is important to you? And where are you trying to go as a family?” Therefore “the conversation is about a family's vision and values, not what they own and owe in dollars and cents. We need to understand how our clients think about wealth, risk, and what may cause them to deviate from their plan. For us, the challenge is how to simplify this conversation and the planning conversation for our clients and advisors.”

When I asked Dave what he thought about robos, he said,

Most advisors are anxious about robos and fintech; however, my view is that technology will help advisors deliver an even more compelling client experience. I think technology can change the current planning experience from a 98‐page plan full of tables and charts [for example, I had a financial plan done with Kim (Dave's wife) a couple of years ago and now I can't even tell you what room of my house it's in] to an ongoing digitally enabled, collaborative, simplified experience that will transform the planning conversations and experiences.

Dave believes that technology will help make these plans collaborative and dynamic and operate in real time. Future clients will have the ability to choose a robo, a direct investment advisor, or the full wealth management team.

Clients can choose how collaborative they would like to be with an advisor for all elements of their wealth management experience. They may do elements of their investing themselves and others with advisors or fully entrust the investing decisions to a portfolio manager. Collaboration is here to stay and the new era will empower the client even more.

Dave is having a great year in terms of asset growth and attracting the right advisors. I asked him what it takes to be a leader in our business. Without hesitation he replied,

We are in the hearts‐and‐minds business. Anyone can review a sales process or pipeline; it's all about your ability to influence. It's getting to the how. Unless you fundamentally enjoy herding cats, you're in the wrong business. If I tried to tell people what to do, I would surely see more of the universally recognized hand gestures letting me know they would not do as I say than I could count.

When thinking about his business, Dave focuses on the key building blocks: vision, strategy, communication, measurable metrics, aligned compensation, and reward and recognition. If just one block is out of alignment, nothing works. I asked Dave to describe his leadership challenges. He zeroed in on ownership of the vision, a commitment from all the leaders in the organization. One way Dave talks about gaining more credibility with advisors is the process of “discovery with advisors,” in others words, truly getting to know the advisors, their investment philosophy, value proposition, and so on, and of course being fully transparent. “I look for the soft skills. This is a listening game, not a talking game. It's a question game, not a telling game. It's all about the caliber of the questions.”

As you can see, Dave and I have the same worldview on virtually everything. Dave and I share the same opinion that having a particular title doesn't make you a leader. “Titles are irrelevant,” Dave emphasizes. After his 90‐minute reviews with his direct reports every month, he ends each meeting with, “What support do you need from me?”

Dave would describe the elite advisor as having the following qualities or skills:

One, they have gained trusted advisor status with their clients; two, they have a clear vision of where they want to take their business; three, they have a plan with the team with clear roles; four, they can clearly articulate their investment philosophy; and five, they build a team to scale model portfolios and perhaps add a planner to the team. In our business model we can't be successful unless we help our advisors to grow more quickly and more profitably than the competition, which you can only sustain through legendary client‐and‐employee experiences. Our role as leaders is to look three to five years ahead and plan accordingly. We need to ask ourselves what model high‐net‐worth Canadians will value and be willing to pay for.

I agree and believe it will be an integrated model.

I myself like to ask people, What do you worry about? Can we help advisors with this opportunity we see and are we ready to help enough advisors to make the shift? If that doesn't inspire you as a leader, you may want to read it again. Dave wants to win big. He leads by influence, not title. “Advisors will never listen if you talk at them.” He feels culture rules the day and it's the one major competitive advantage. This culture is defined by what you do, not what you say. So, how does one win, I ask? “Be driven, be disruptive, and have diversity of thought.” Dave goes on, “The challenge I put to the advisors is this: What is the last human capability and capacity that is hard to automate? Emotional connection and empathy. It's not asset allocation or picking stocks or running a plan.”

Here are Dave's parting words of wisdom at the end of our conversation:

When I'm in front of advisors who are thinking about moving from their firm, they are asking themselves, “If I look out five years, what model will win? Where do I need to be? Will they have the right leaders, the right culture, the right team?”

It was such a pleasure talking to Dave. It is clear he focuses on and executes all the right strategies because he understands that soft skills are what drive people.

A World of Possibilities and Opportunities

“The babies being born in America today are the luckiest crop in history. America's economic magic remains alive and well.”

–Warren Buffett

I discussed in the introduction of the book that change is happening faster than any time in recent history. Therefore, it goes without saying that leading change will be paramount for the future manager or advisor. John P. Kotter, author of Leading Change, is renowned for his work on leading organizational change. His research says:

Unsuccessful transitions almost always founder during at least one of the following phases: generating a sense of urgency, establishing a powerful guiding coalition, developing a vision, communicating the vision clearly and often, removing obstacles, planning for and creating short‐term wins, avoiding premature declarations of victory, and embedding changes in the corporate culture.

Having the courage to lead change by definition means operating with some unknowns. For some this may be uncharted waters utilizing a new tool, new technology, or a different product or service. For many in the industry, roles are changing to focus more on building relationships versus time‐consuming tasks that will eventually be handled by robots. Leading change could mean improving the culture or changing the business or wealth management model. At times leading change is simply about dealing with a crisis; it's about getting that unpleasant phone call on an idle Tuesday afternoon. Making change happen and dealing with change both require competence, confidence, and a strong vision.

During the 2008−2009 global financial crisis, I was the national sales manager at Morgan Stanley and I would be lying to you if I didn't tell you that in that position, I experienced more than my fair share of anxiety. I kept myself glued to the talking heads on various cable networks and read several newspapers every morning. Everyone working in financial services knows it was a very scary time, for our clients as well as ourselves.

In the middle of all the chaos and fear, one person stood out from the crowd by showing courage, confidence, and optimism for the future. That person was investor extraordinaire Warren Buffett. As virtually everyone else panicked, Buffett remained calm and took a long‐term view.

Warren Buffett's reaction to the crisis and his confidence that we would weather the storm gave me a sense of peace and hope. His optimism shined even brighter because things were so uncertain. Warren Buffett understood the profound need, as a leader, to calmly navigate through an incredible crisis. He showed more than optimism. He showed wisdom.

Experienced advisors with decades of experience also taught me about courage and a sense of perspective. These wise advisors were like master sailors; they understood the challenges of a rough sea. But, more importantly, they knew how to navigate their clients through this once‐in‐a‐lifetime storm. They had the courage to stay calm, and didn't panic and sell at the bottom. What did they have that others didn't? What did they know that others couldn't see? They had a perspective based on history, they had lived through life experiences, they never gave up hope, they were well‐read, they were laser‐focused on their clients, and they over‐communicated with everyone, from clients and their team to partners and managers. They had the courage to be proactive versus go into hiding.

Examine Your Assumptions

As a self‐made, rather than born, optimist, I find it helpful and necessary to intermittently examine my beliefs, values, and assumptions. Where's my mindset? What are my go‐to beliefs, values, and assumptions? Am I holding onto beliefs that are keeping me from moving forward? Making assumptions that a team is operating just fine or that performance seems okay holds you back. If you hold the belief, “If it's not broken, don't mess with it,” it probably means your forward momentum has stalled. Or, if you believe that it's better not to get involved in difficult situations because things will just take care of themselves—you're probably stuck. Neither one of these beliefs is part of a growth mindset. Unfortunately, we come across these sentiments all the time.

The Greater the Confidence, the Greater the Courage to Move Forward

I have found more often than not most successes start with confidence and end because of the lack of confidence. Sports is the best example.

There's a necessary balance to confidence because too much and you become arrogant. When I see a team or advisor in front of a client with a modestly sized portfolio, the confidence is at one level; yet when they are in front of a client outside their comfort level, while they may act confidently, they really are not. When you move through life with confidence, you open yourself to new possibilities and opportunities. How many times have we seen coaches berate children or leaders address their staff in ways that destroyed their confidence? Undoubtedly we've all seen that many times. And you know what happens next: fear and a lack of confidence keeps anyone playing it safe. Being in the safe zone is no way to go through life.

As a leader one of the great gifts that you can give someone is the confidence to move closer to his potential or the confidence to try something new. It's the only way to break out of fear. As poet E. E. Cummings said, “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” Instill in others the confidence they are looking for, even if they don't know it.

I work on being confident. If I make a mistake, I'm not very forgiving of myself. But there are a number of things I recommend to stay optimistic and confident:

• Kill negative self‐talk. That little voice gets louder. Slay that dragon and live above it.
• Know who you are and what your principles are.
• Increase your competence.
• Set small goals and achieve them.
• Don't get overly emotional.
• Be grateful.
• Exercise.
• Empower yourself by mastering something.
• Look for people who will help your confidence; we all can use a cheerleader once in a while.
• Never stop moving forward. When one door closes, knock on a different one. If that door doesn't open, move to the next. A champion never loses enthusiasm.
• Don't allow criticism to live longer than it needs to in your head. That's precious real estate. Fill it with good thoughts.

Possibility‐killing beliefs that tend to creep into the minds of leaders in our industry often include thoughts and ideas that do nothing except drain our energy:

• The belief that doing nothing is the best solution.
• It's impossible to be a top performer and have work/life balance.
• Coaching advisors doesn't work.
• I don't have the resources I need.
• I can't get back to where I was.
• My boss doesn't value me or recognize my contribution.
• I don't have enough time to spend with my family or on business development.
• I'm in a terrible market for high‐net‐worth investors.

You need to stop this negative self‐talk because your thoughts influence your actions. When you become aware of such negativity, acknowledge its existence, consider its damaging long‐term effects, and proactively move forward.

If you begin with a sense of humility about your own skills and abilities, you will usually be curious enough to seek ways to improve your knowledge base and skill set. You will be drawn to seek growth.

If you're not actively seeking growth, personally or professionally, and are coasting instead, resting on your past accomplishments or acting mostly out of habit, it's time to shake things up. This stagnation can easily happen after 25 years in the business—it can easily happen with just a few years under your belt. When was the last time you did something that scared you? Have the courage to test yourself once in a while. Have the courage to lead change when others are playing it safe by the shoreline. No growth comes from playing not to lose.