“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

—Albert Schweitzer

Leaders with a growth mindset don't go it alone and they are grateful to all the people who help them along the way. The awareness that they owe their success to the helping hands and support of others is a defining characteristic of all the great leaders I've had the privilege to work with. For me, gratitude is also the key identifier of leadership potential in new talent.

Consider this:

• Make a list of the people who've helped you in your career.
• Make a list of the people who've helped you achieve success or made a difference in your life.
• Think of clients that have gone out of their way to help you.
• If your list has fewer than a dozen names on it, think again, and again.

I would not have been able to build the career I have without the help of many people. I believe that to be true for every successful person. A sense of gratitude helps keep you grounded and humble. It also helps connect you in a powerful and meaningful way to the people you are leading and serving. Gratitude is a constant reminder that you are not the master of the universe. It is important to acknowledge the contribution of others in your success and to give back.

Ask yourself:

• Are you a giver or a taker? We can all improve and be more of a giver. Give more recognition. Give more value. Give more to those who need you inside and outside your office. Give more quality time to those you care about.

Consider this:

• Write a thank‐you note to someone who has made a difference in your life. (Note: A thank‐you note, not an email.)
• Consider making this a regular practice: something you do, with gratitude and humility, once a month.

If you model this way of operating, a significant part of your team will start to operate the same way and you will have sown the seeds of an incredible culture.

Narcissism Is Not Your Friend

I applauded Muhammad Ali's roar, “I am the greatest!” and I did not question either his athletic prowess or his showmanship. But “I am the greatest!” is not the roar of a great leader. In any leadership role, a large component of staying focused and managing to a greater purpose is the ability to see past labels and let go of any need to be viewed as important, or to be more respected and recognized than your peers.

These are elements of a stage performance, or one's own pride, but not of strong leadership. A great leader never has to say, “I'm a terrific leader.” His or her actions speak volumes. Accolades and acknowledgment will come and go—one day we get them, the next day we don't. Stay true to the very best person you really are—that's enough.

Pride will never serve you as well as humility. Authenticity and cultivating your sense of gratitude are the best ways of staying rooted in humility and reality.

Influence

“The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.”

—Kenneth H. Blanchard

The ability to wield influence, not power, and the ability to inspire action are defining characteristics of leaders with a growth mindset. If you can't win hearts and minds or if you don't at least enjoy the challenge, you should find a different business. If you're an advisor, manager, or wholesaler, that's our job.

It may seem logical to want more power in your organization or career but great leaders focus on expanding their influence. Power is about allocating resources, and making and enforcing decisions. Influence is the mechanism through which people use power to change behavior or attitudes. Unlike power, influence can effect change without an obvious exertion of force, compulsion, or direct command.

“The ability to influence is the key to being a great leader.”

—From Power, Influence, and Persuasion (Harvard Business School Press)

In a sense, influence is power with a velvet glove. That's why people without a title, who have no formal power, can influence people, decisions, and organizations as much as, and often more than, someone who holds an official position.

Persuasion

Persuasion is closely related to influence. It is a process through which one aims to change or reinforce the attitudes, worldviews, opinions, or behaviors of others.

“There is a profound difference between management and leadership and both are important. ‘To manage’ means ‘to bring about, to accomplish, to have charge of or responsibility for, to conduct.’ ‘Leading’ is ‘influencing, guiding in direction, course, action, opinion.’ . . . An essential factor in leadership is the capacity to influence.”

—Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus, Leaders: Strategies for Taking Charge

Since the beginning, most businesses have operated with the help of power, influence, and persuasion. Aristotle knew this 2,300 years ago when he boldly identified that logic and reason are not sufficient to the arts of influence and persuasion. Logos, pathos, and ethos—logic, emotions and character—must work together. This is the magic of influence and the magic of leadership: it works on not only the minds of an audience, but also their hearts.

Despite millennia of knowledge and insight into the velvet power of influence, managers young and old still try to use power to get things done, thinking, “I'm the boss, I know better—I have the power to make them do what I want or else.”

“Never expect anyone to engage in a behavior that serves your values unless you give that person adequate reason to do so.”

—Edward Dwyer

It doesn't work. But influence does.

“Power/Influence is the ability to get people to perceive that a given behavior (or performance) is the best action they can take in service of their values.”

—Edward Dwyer

I hope you are connecting the dots. Being grateful and not arrogant helps you in so many ways in building a business not to mention living your life. When you are networking, leading your team, creating a culture, collaboration and so on you simply travel lighter through life.