Index

accountability, 35–36

acknowledgment

agreement vs., 123

in DIAL in process, 171

and empathy, 123, 205

actions, 23

aligning intentions with, 23

aligning thoughts with, 10

micro- vs. macro-, 24

and personal presence brand, 36–40

vs. talk, 39–40

trust in, 34

of visionary, 172–173

adolescents, depression diagnoses, 45

agenda for meetings, 193

agreement, vs. acknowledgment, 123

Aha! moments, 144, 147

acting on, 151–152

time for developing, 168

Allison, Herb, 126

American Time Use Study (U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics), 220

analyzing phase of thought, 144

anger, and sending email, 134

anomie, 162

Apple brand, 16

appreciative inquiry technique, 150

approachability, 75–76

Association for Financial Professionals, 113

athlete, visualization by, 11

attention

focus on what’s right, 45

focused, 147–148

paying, 40–41

“attention density,” 148, 151

attire, see clothes (dress)

attitudes, superior, 117

audit, see personal presence audit

authenticity, 9, 190, 210

in actions, 24

in connections, 75

automatic responses, 144

autonomy trigger, in threat-reward response, 156

bad news, email and, 133

Bar-On, Reuven, 109

BarOn EQ-i test (Emotional Quotient Inventory), 109, 115, 120

BlackBerry, reliance on, 135–136

blame, accepting responsibility for, 36

blazer, 28

Blink (Gladwell), 31–32

boards of directors, and CEO perfectionists, 80–81

body language, 2, 24–29

as contagious, 32–33

researching, 30

thoughts and, 29

see also actions

boss, qualities of great, 77–78

brain

optimizing for change, 147–154

and presence, 149, 151, 152, 153, 154

processes, 143–144

see also thoughts

brain function, intentions and, 12–13

brand, see personal presence brand breathing deep for managing stress, 52

Brothers, Chalmers, Language and the Pursuit of Happiness, 29

buddy style of empathic leader, 113

Bush, George W., 31

careers

clothes impact on, 27

meeting interactions and, 20

presence considerations for changing, 222–223

centrality, fallacy of, 76

CEOs (chief executive officers), 2

body language, 1

cues from dress, 27

meeting attendance impact, 33

as perfectionists, 80–81

personal presence brand, 35

presence and leadership, 2

presence considerations for, 215–217

vision, 162

certainty trigger, in threat-reward response, 156

change

efforts to create, 150

optimizing brain for, 147–154

in perceptions, 146

as process, 152

reaction to, 146

starting with self, 142–143

sustaining, 151

transformational, 152–153

Chesterton, G.K., 117

clarity, 58

client meetings, 197–198

Clifton StrengthsFinder, 45

Clinton, Hillary, 1

clothes (dress), 25

impact on careers, 27

as physical expression, 26–28

coach style of empathic leader, 112

coaching, 210

executive, 151

collaboration, 39–40

colleague, qualities of great, 77–78

Collins, Jim, Good to Great, 165

commonalities, finding, 118–119

communicating, 161

face-to-face, 129

with respect, 110

struggles, 2–4

variety of forms, 130

vision, 224

see also email; public speaking

communication mirroring, 32–33

companies, core ideology of high-performing, 165

competence, balancing with vulnerability, 76–77

competition, trust and, 101–102

connections

with audience, 204–205

time for, 218

see also individual connections

contemplation, brain benefits from, 148

context for data, 163

conversation

Intentionality Frame for tough, 21

internal, 11–13

corporate guidelines, on social media, 137

corporate reorganizations, trust and, 99–100

Cosby, Bill, 209

Covey, Stephen, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 121

“Crackberry addiction,” 135–136

creativity, 149

credibility, 181, 182

in trust equation, 93

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, Flow, 153

cultural sensitivity in workplace, 190

daring, 206–207

data, context for, 163

deadlines, 35

declarations, 178–186, 188, 206

breaking down, 179–180

of career changes, 223

creating, 183–184

excuses to avoid, 181–182

power of, 184

in press interviews, 197

risk in, 182

deep breathing, to manage stress, 52

delegation process, and work quality, 132

depression in adolescents, diagnoses, 45

Describe step, in DIAL in process, 170

“DIAL in” process, 170–171

dialogue, creating in presentation, 53

Discovery Lunch, 118–119

disintermediation, 137

double bottom line, 67

dress, 25

impact on careers, 27

as physical expression, 26–28

Drive (Pink), 148–149, 153, 158

Durkheim, Emile, 162

Eblin, Scott, The Next Level, 11

efficiency, as goal of brain, 144

Ekman, Paul, 31–32

electronic communications misuse, 130–137

“CrackBerry addiction,” 135–136

email for management process, 130–133

hostile reply-alls, 135

nastygrams, 134

never-ending workday, 133–134

social media, 136–137

email, 62, 130, 218

hostile reply-alls, 135

management by, 130–133

nastygrams, 134

and never-ending workday, 133–134

testing acumen, 131

emotion

from audience, goal for, 19

awareness in self, 115

emotional intelligence, 107–127

and empathy, 108–109

Emotional Intelligence (Golman), 108

empathy

acknowledgment and, 205

communicating, 109–112

and emotional intelligence, 108–109

hope from, 125–126

leadership and, 109, 112–113

outward and inward, 115–117

results of leadership style with, 124–127

and trust, 108, 205

vicious circle of, 120–124

employees

impact of empathy and, 111

terminations and trust, 104–105

trust in performance feedback by, 99

Entrepreneur.com, 32

entrepreneurial companies

sense of purpose, 157

vision of, 218

entrepreneurs

fear in, 115–116

presence considerations for, 217–219

EQ-i test (Emotional Quotient Inventory), 109, 115, 120

executive brain function, 144

executive coach, 151

executive presence, 9, 15, 211

describing, 56

Facebook, 136, 137

face-to-face communication, 129

facial expressions

impact of negative, 31–32

neutral, 30–31

for public speaking, 204

failure, 182–185

Cosby on, 209

vs. success, learning from, 153

trust and, 100–101

fairness trigger, in threat-reward response, 157

Fannie Mae, 125–126

fear, in entrepreneurs, 115–116

feed forward, 151

feedback, 14

choosing people to provide, 61

collecting, 58–59

culture of, 83

for leaders, 76, 216

managing reaction to, 63

need for, 58

questions for gaining good, 62–63

reaction to negative, 59

Ferrazzi, Keith, 192

Fierce Conversations (Scott), 102

55/38/7 rule, 25

fight-or-flight, 154–155

filmanthropy, 68

Flow (Csikszentmihalyi), 153

focused attention, 147–148

friends, 74

frowns, 30–31

full-body practice, 202

functional fixedness, 148–149

Galford, Robert M., The Trusted Advisor, 91, 93

Gates, Bill, “think week,” 168

Gladwell, Malcolm, Blink, 31–32

goals, 153–154

vs. vision, 165

Goldsmith, Marshall, 151

Golman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence, 108

Good to Great (Collins), 165

Google+, 137

Green, Charles H., The Trusted Advisor, 91, 93

ground rules for meeting, 193

Halpern, Belle Linda, Leadership Presence, 53–54, 120

happiness, 66–68

and trust, 105

Harvard Business Review, 11, 76

higher purpose, human drive to connect to, 157–158

hiring, trust and, 102–103

hope, 174

from empathy, 125–126

How We Decide (Lehrer), 163

Hsieh, Tony, 118, 167, 173

humor, 195

ideas, writing down, 151

importance, vs. urgency, 33–34

individual component of I-Presence model, 5–6

individual connections, 73

perfectionism and, 80

politics for learning about, 78–79

information

connections to access valid, 75–76

overload, 163

inspirational component of I-Presence model, 6, 141–160

inspirational language, 179

inspiring others, 154–157, 188–190

language for, 206–207

opportunities for, 185–186

integrity, 198

intentional component of I-Presence model, 5, 10

intentionality, 9

Intentionality Frame, 20–21

intentions, 40–41

aligning actions with, 23

aligning physicality to, 203–204

brain function and, 12–13

building, 17–20

impact, 13–15

last thoughts, 68

observing, 15

and preparation, 201–203

reactions created by great, 15

situational, 19–20

types of, 10

interesting, bad and good, 190–191

internal conversation, 11–13

intimacy

self-orientation and, 95–96

in trust equation, 94

invitation to connect, 74

Invite step, in DIAL in process, 170–171

iPhone, 16

I-Presence model, 4–6, 200

individual connections, 5–6, 73

prep sheet, 208

quick hit tips, 215–225

I-Presence Prep Guide, 201

job interview, trust and, 103

job offers, trust and, 102–103

job seekers, presence considerations for, 220–221

Jobs, Steve, 16, 28–29, 178

joy, 153

Kaitz, Jim, 113–115

Kennedy, John F., 180

Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants, 174

language

for inspiring, 206–207

power of, 178

Language and the Pursuit of Happiness (Brothers), 29

layoffs, trust and, 99–100

leadership, 76

empathy and, 109, 112–113

empathy and, results of style, 124–127

impact of mental attendance, 33

and politics, 1

and presence, 2

presence considerations for, 215–217

spotlight on, 187

vision of, 162–163

see also CEOs (chief executive officers)

leadership coach, 4

Leadership Presence (Halpern and Lubar), 53–54, 120

learning, commitment to, 210

learning organization, 169

Lehrer, Jonah, How We Decide, 163

Leondakis, Niki, 174–176

Leonsis, Ted, 66–68

Leverage step, in DIAL in process, 171

LinkedIn, 136

listening, 120

and empathy, 205

in empathy cycle, 122–123

in meetings, 193

Loehr, Jim, 11

long-term memory, 145

Lubar, Kathy, Leadership Presence, 53–54, 120

macro-actions, 24, 33–34

Macworld 2007, 16

Maister, David H., The Trusted Advisor, 91, 93

managers, trust in performance feedback by, 98–99

Mayer, John D., 108

McDonald’s, 35

media interviews, 196–197

meetings, 20, 192–194

sales and client, 197–198

Mehrabian, Albert, Silent Messages, 25

memory

long-term, 145

short-term, 144

mental conditioning, 11

mental environment, model for, 154–155

mental exhaustion, 4

mental maps, 144

creating, 147

mentor style of empathic leader, 112

micro-actions, 24

micro-expressions, 32

Miller, Earl, 153

mistakes, 36

mobile devices, reliance on, 135–136

motivation, 216

movement, for public speaking, 203–204

multitasking, 144–145

muscle memory, 202

nastygrams, 134

negative facial expressions, impact, 31–32

negative feedback, reaction to, 59

negative thoughts, 11–13

uncovering, 13

negativity loop, 42–55

arguing against, 46–49

networking events, 191–192

neural circuits, 144

neuroleadership, 4, 12–13, 143–144

neuroplasticity, 146

neuroscience, 143–144, 159

neutral expressions, 30–31

The Next Level (Eblin), 11

Nike, “Just Do It” slogan, 153

Northrop, Clyde, 185

Obama, Barack, 158, 180

openness, 82–83

commitment to, 210

optimistic thoughts, 46–47

converting pessimistic to, 48–49

passion, of entrepreneur, 217

pause in speaking, 53, 204

perceptions

change in, 146

of others, discovering, 61

presence as, 56–69

perfectionism, 79–80

case study, 80–81

in women, 219–220

performance issues

privacy for sharing, 110

trust and, 98–99

personal development, 146

personal discomfort, and empathic communication, 111

personal goals, 151

personal lives, sharing at work, 87

personal presence audit, 58–59

assessing strengths and weaknesses, 64, 66

conducting, 58–59

managing reaction to feedback, 63

requesting participation, 61–62

personal presence brand, 18–19, 34–36, 202

and actions, 36–40

developing, 223

for job seekers, 221

worksheet, 37

personal presence development plan, 64–66

persuasion, body language and, 26

pessimistic thoughts, 45–46

converting to optimistic, 48–49

Seligman on, 46

physical reaction, to stress, 52–54

Picower Institute for Learning and Memory (MIT), 153

Pink, Daniel, 180, 195

Drive, 148–149, 153, 158

politics

and leadership, 1

learning about connections from, 78–79

positive attitude, 176

positive psychology, 45

possibilities, empathy creating, 124–125

posture, for public speaking, 203

power

of declarations, 184

of language, 178

PR firms, 3

PR professionals, 189

practice of presentation, 202

prefrontal cortex, 144–145

pregame rituals, 49, 50–51, 203, 222

developing, 51–52

presence

and brain, 149, 151, 152, 153, 154

elusiveness, 209–210

getting baseline, 57

and leadership, 2

as perception, 56–69

relying on, 49

trusted, 105–106

see also personal presence audit; personal presence brand

presence considerations

for career changers, 222–223

for CEOs and senior leaders, 215–217

for entrepreneurs, 217–219

for job seekers, 220–221

for professionals, 223–225

for women, 219–220

presentation, see public speaking

press interviews, 196–197

priorities, and vision, 175

problems, vs. solutions, focus on, 149–150

professional distance, vs. intimacy, 94

professionals, presence considerations for, 223–225

promotions, and attitudes, 117

psychology, 45

public relations, 1–2

public speaking, 42–43, 194–196

connection points with audience, 204–205

practice of, 202

starting from position of strength, 53

purpose, 179

motivation from, 157–158

purposelessness, 162

questions

for gaining good feedback, 62–63

of sales prospects, 102

quick feedback points (QFPs), 83, 99, 218

Quiet Leadership (Rock), 144

reactions

created by great intentions, 15

variations in, 44

Reagan, Ronald, 180

Redgate Communications, 67

reflection, making time for, 148–149

reinforcement of vision, 172–173

relatedness trigger, in threat-reward response, 156–157

relater style of empathic leader, 113

relating, in empathy cycle, 124

relationship building, 74

traits for trust, 92–93

reliability, in trust equation, 93

reorganizations, 175

reply-alls, hostile, 135

reputation, 3

resilience, 45

rewards, 206

for truth, 218

risk

in declarations, 182

in relationships, 96

Rock, David, 143–144, 146, 154

Quiet Leadership, 144

Your Brain at Work, 144

role modeling, 39

sales meetings, 197–198

Salovey, Peter, 108

SCARF model, 155–157

vision and, 166

Schwartz, Jeffrey, 148

Schwartz, Tony, 11

Scott, Susan, Fierce Conversations, 102

Segall, Chris, 126

self-awareness, 115

selflessness, 96

self-orientation, 95

in trust equation, 94

Seligman, Martin, 45, 150

selling, trust and, 102

Senge, Peter, 169

senior leaders, presence considerations for, 215–217

7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey), 121

shared vision, creating, 169–171

short-term memory, 144

Sigman, Stan, 16–17

Silent Messages (Mehrabian), 25

situational intentions, 10, 19–20, 202

smartphones, reliance on, 135–136

smiling, 31, 204

social media

corporate guidelines, 137

unintentional notoriety, 136–137

social skills, 107

social triggers, and threat-reward response, 155–157

“soft skills,” 75

solutions, vs. problems, focus on, 149–150

speaking in public, 42–43, 194–196

connection points with audience, 204–205

practice of, 202

starting from position of strength, 53

spokesperson, 189

spotlight, discomfort in, 198–199

Starbucks, 35

status trigger, in threat-reward response, 156

Stock, Greg, 36, 38–39

stories, 83–85, 206, 221

guidelines for incorporating into communication, 85

in networking events, 192

strategic goals, vs. vision, 166

strategic shock value, 194–195

strengths

assessing weaknesses and, 64, 66

focus on, 150

stress, physical reaction to, 52–54

success

Cosby on, 209

vs. failure, learning from, 153

superior attitudes, 117

Sutton, Robert, 76

talk, vs. actions, 39–40

TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program), 126

teams

learning about members, 118–119

meaningful vision for, 165

teamwork, vs. competition, 101

termination of employee, trust and, 104–105

texting, 130

“think week,” 168

thoughts

aligning with word and actions, 10

body language and, 29

negative, 11–13

optimistic or pessimistic, 46–47

threat-reward response, social triggers and, 155–157

threats, 206

360-degree review, 59–60

time

American Time Use Study, 220

email and saving, 131–132

and empathic communication, 111

of others, 198

for reflection, 148–149

for vision determination, 168

toxic tandem, 76

transformational change, 152–153

Treasury Department, Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), 126

treatment of fired employees, 104–105

trust, 76, 89–106, 216

in actions, 34

benefits, 90–91

competition and, 101–102

core variables, 93–94

and corporate reorganizations or layoffs, 99–100

and empathy, 108, 205

factors impacting, 91

failure and, 100–101

finding, 97–105

and getting hired, 102–103

measuring, 94–95

performance issues and, 98–99

qualities associated with, 90

selling and, 102

termination of employee and, 104–105

“trust equation,” 93

The Trusted Advisor (Maister, Green, and Galford), 91, 93

trusted relationships, traits for, 92–93

truth teller style of empathic leader, 112

Twitter, 136

uncertainty, and shutdown, 153

understanding, and empathy, 121–122, 205

U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, American Time Use Study, 220

urgency, vs. importance, 33–34

vision, 161

communicating, 224

creating shared, 169–171

declarations and, 179

of entrepreneurial companies, 218

vs. goals, 165

of leader, 162–163, 216

and priorities, 175

sharing, 223

visionary, 163, 164–176, 207

actions, 172–173

aspirations, 164–166

case study, 174–176

keeping head up, 173–174

personal aspects, 166–169

shared understanding creation, 169–172

Vistage International, 33, 42–43, 147

visualization, by athlete, 11

voice, for public speaking, 204

Vovici, 38–39

vulnerability, 82

balancing with competence, 76–77

weaknesses, focus on, 150

“why,” drawing attention to, 158

women, presence considerations for, 219–220

workday, never-ending, email and, 133–134

working mothers, 184–185

workplace cultural sensitivity, 190

workplace rules for dress, 28

worksheet, personal presence brand, 37

Your Brain at Work (Rock), 144

Zappos, 118, 167, 173

core values, 168

Zero Degrees of Separation Game, 120

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