Index
accountability, 35–36
acknowledgment
agreement vs., 123
in DIAL in process, 171
actions, 23
aligning intentions with, 23
aligning thoughts with, 10
micro- vs. macro-, 24
and personal presence brand, 36–40
vs. talk, 39–40
trust in, 34
of visionary, 172–173
adolescents, depression diagnoses, 45
agenda for meetings, 193
agreement, vs. acknowledgment, 123
acting on, 151–152
time for developing, 168
Allison, Herb, 126
American Time Use Study (U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics), 220
analyzing phase of thought, 144
anger, and sending email, 134
anomie, 162
Apple brand, 16
appreciative inquiry technique, 150
approachability, 75–76
Association for Financial Professionals, 113
athlete, visualization by, 11
attention
focus on what’s right, 45
focused, 147–148
paying, 40–41
attire, see clothes (dress)
attitudes, superior, 117
audit, see personal presence audit
in actions, 24
in connections, 75
automatic responses, 144
autonomy trigger, in threat-reward response, 156
bad news, email and, 133
Bar-On, Reuven, 109
BarOn EQ-i test (Emotional Quotient Inventory), 109, 115, 120
BlackBerry, reliance on, 135–136
blame, accepting responsibility for, 36
blazer, 28
Blink (Gladwell), 31–32
boards of directors, and CEO perfectionists, 80–81
as contagious, 32–33
researching, 30
thoughts and, 29
see also actions
boss, qualities of great, 77–78
optimizing for change, 147–154
and presence, 149, 151, 152, 153, 154
processes, 143–144
see also thoughts
brain function, intentions and, 12–13
brand, see personal presence brand breathing deep for managing stress, 52
Brothers, Chalmers, Language and the Pursuit of Happiness, 29
buddy style of empathic leader, 113
Bush, George W., 31
careers
clothes impact on, 27
meeting interactions and, 20
presence considerations for changing, 222–223
centrality, fallacy of, 76
CEOs (chief executive officers), 2
body language, 1
cues from dress, 27
meeting attendance impact, 33
as perfectionists, 80–81
personal presence brand, 35
presence and leadership, 2
presence considerations for, 215–217
vision, 162
certainty trigger, in threat-reward response, 156
change
efforts to create, 150
optimizing brain for, 147–154
in perceptions, 146
as process, 152
reaction to, 146
starting with self, 142–143
sustaining, 151
transformational, 152–153
Chesterton, G.K., 117
clarity, 58
client meetings, 197–198
Clifton StrengthsFinder, 45
Clinton, Hillary, 1
clothes (dress), 25
impact on careers, 27
as physical expression, 26–28
coach style of empathic leader, 112
coaching, 210
executive, 151
collaboration, 39–40
colleague, qualities of great, 77–78
Collins, Jim, Good to Great, 165
commonalities, finding, 118–119
communicating, 161
face-to-face, 129
with respect, 110
struggles, 2–4
variety of forms, 130
vision, 224
see also email; public speaking
communication mirroring, 32–33
companies, core ideology of high-performing, 165
competence, balancing with vulnerability, 76–77
competition, trust and, 101–102
connections
with audience, 204–205
time for, 218
see also individual connections
contemplation, brain benefits from, 148
context for data, 163
conversation
Intentionality Frame for tough, 21
internal, 11–13
corporate guidelines, on social media, 137
corporate reorganizations, trust and, 99–100
Cosby, Bill, 209
Covey, Stephen, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 121
“Crackberry addiction,” 135–136
creativity, 149
in trust equation, 93
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, Flow, 153
cultural sensitivity in workplace, 190
daring, 206–207
data, context for, 163
deadlines, 35
declarations, 178–186, 188, 206
breaking down, 179–180
of career changes, 223
creating, 183–184
excuses to avoid, 181–182
power of, 184
in press interviews, 197
risk in, 182
deep breathing, to manage stress, 52
delegation process, and work quality, 132
depression in adolescents, diagnoses, 45
Describe step, in DIAL in process, 170
“DIAL in” process, 170–171
dialogue, creating in presentation, 53
Discovery Lunch, 118–119
disintermediation, 137
double bottom line, 67
dress, 25
impact on careers, 27
as physical expression, 26–28
Drive (Pink), 148–149, 153, 158
Durkheim, Emile, 162
Eblin, Scott, The Next Level, 11
efficiency, as goal of brain, 144
Ekman, Paul, 31–32
electronic communications misuse, 130–137
“CrackBerry addiction,” 135–136
email for management process, 130–133
hostile reply-alls, 135
nastygrams, 134
never-ending workday, 133–134
social media, 136–137
hostile reply-alls, 135
management by, 130–133
nastygrams, 134
and never-ending workday, 133–134
testing acumen, 131
emotion
from audience, goal for, 19
awareness in self, 115
emotional intelligence, 107–127
and empathy, 108–109
Emotional Intelligence (Golman), 108
empathy
acknowledgment and, 205
communicating, 109–112
and emotional intelligence, 108–109
hope from, 125–126
outward and inward, 115–117
results of leadership style with, 124–127
vicious circle of, 120–124
employees
impact of empathy and, 111
terminations and trust, 104–105
trust in performance feedback by, 99
Entrepreneur.com, 32
entrepreneurial companies
sense of purpose, 157
vision of, 218
entrepreneurs
fear in, 115–116
presence considerations for, 217–219
EQ-i test (Emotional Quotient Inventory), 109, 115, 120
executive brain function, 144
executive coach, 151
executive presence, 9, 15, 211
describing, 56
face-to-face communication, 129
facial expressions
impact of negative, 31–32
neutral, 30–31
for public speaking, 204
failure, 182–185
Cosby on, 209
vs. success, learning from, 153
trust and, 100–101
fairness trigger, in threat-reward response, 157
Fannie Mae, 125–126
fear, in entrepreneurs, 115–116
feed forward, 151
feedback, 14
choosing people to provide, 61
collecting, 58–59
culture of, 83
managing reaction to, 63
need for, 58
questions for gaining good, 62–63
reaction to negative, 59
Ferrazzi, Keith, 192
Fierce Conversations (Scott), 102
55/38/7 rule, 25
fight-or-flight, 154–155
filmanthropy, 68
Flow (Csikszentmihalyi), 153
focused attention, 147–148
friends, 74
frowns, 30–31
full-body practice, 202
functional fixedness, 148–149
Galford, Robert M., The Trusted Advisor, 91, 93
Gates, Bill, “think week,” 168
Gladwell, Malcolm, Blink, 31–32
goals, 153–154
vs. vision, 165
Goldsmith, Marshall, 151
Golman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence, 108
Good to Great (Collins), 165
Google+, 137
Green, Charles H., The Trusted Advisor, 91, 93
ground rules for meeting, 193
Halpern, Belle Linda, Leadership Presence, 53–54, 120
happiness, 66–68
and trust, 105
Harvard Business Review, 11, 76
higher purpose, human drive to connect to, 157–158
hiring, trust and, 102–103
hope, 174
from empathy, 125–126
How We Decide (Lehrer), 163
humor, 195
ideas, writing down, 151
importance, vs. urgency, 33–34
individual component of I-Presence model, 5–6
individual connections, 73
perfectionism and, 80
politics for learning about, 78–79
information
connections to access valid, 75–76
overload, 163
inspirational component of I-Presence model, 6, 141–160
inspirational language, 179
inspiring others, 154–157, 188–190
language for, 206–207
opportunities for, 185–186
integrity, 198
intentional component of I-Presence model, 5, 10
intentionality, 9
Intentionality Frame, 20–21
intentions, 40–41
aligning actions with, 23
aligning physicality to, 203–204
brain function and, 12–13
building, 17–20
impact, 13–15
last thoughts, 68
observing, 15
and preparation, 201–203
reactions created by great, 15
situational, 19–20
types of, 10
interesting, bad and good, 190–191
internal conversation, 11–13
intimacy
self-orientation and, 95–96
in trust equation, 94
invitation to connect, 74
Invite step, in DIAL in process, 170–171
iPhone, 16
individual connections, 5–6, 73
prep sheet, 208
quick hit tips, 215–225
I-Presence Prep Guide, 201
job interview, trust and, 103
job offers, trust and, 102–103
job seekers, presence considerations for, 220–221
joy, 153
Kaitz, Jim, 113–115
Kennedy, John F., 180
Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants, 174
language
for inspiring, 206–207
power of, 178
Language and the Pursuit of Happiness (Brothers), 29
layoffs, trust and, 99–100
leadership, 76
empathy and, results of style, 124–127
impact of mental attendance, 33
and politics, 1
and presence, 2
presence considerations for, 215–217
spotlight on, 187
vision of, 162–163
see also CEOs (chief executive officers)
leadership coach, 4
Leadership Presence (Halpern and Lubar), 53–54, 120
learning, commitment to, 210
learning organization, 169
Lehrer, Jonah, How We Decide, 163
Leondakis, Niki, 174–176
Leonsis, Ted, 66–68
Leverage step, in DIAL in process, 171
LinkedIn, 136
listening, 120
and empathy, 205
in empathy cycle, 122–123
in meetings, 193
Loehr, Jim, 11
long-term memory, 145
Lubar, Kathy, Leadership Presence, 53–54, 120
Macworld 2007, 16
Maister, David H., The Trusted Advisor, 91, 93
managers, trust in performance feedback by, 98–99
Mayer, John D., 108
McDonald’s, 35
media interviews, 196–197
sales and client, 197–198
Mehrabian, Albert, Silent Messages, 25
memory
long-term, 145
short-term, 144
mental conditioning, 11
mental environment, model for, 154–155
mental exhaustion, 4
mental maps, 144
creating, 147
mentor style of empathic leader, 112
micro-actions, 24
micro-expressions, 32
Miller, Earl, 153
mistakes, 36
mobile devices, reliance on, 135–136
motivation, 216
movement, for public speaking, 203–204
multitasking, 144–145
muscle memory, 202
nastygrams, 134
negative facial expressions, impact, 31–32
negative feedback, reaction to, 59
negative thoughts, 11–13
uncovering, 13
negativity loop, 42–55
arguing against, 46–49
networking events, 191–192
neural circuits, 144
neuroleadership, 4, 12–13, 143–144
neuroplasticity, 146
neutral expressions, 30–31
The Next Level (Eblin), 11
Nike, “Just Do It” slogan, 153
Northrop, Clyde, 185
openness, 82–83
commitment to, 210
optimistic thoughts, 46–47
converting pessimistic to, 48–49
passion, of entrepreneur, 217
perceptions
change in, 146
of others, discovering, 61
presence as, 56–69
perfectionism, 79–80
case study, 80–81
in women, 219–220
performance issues
privacy for sharing, 110
trust and, 98–99
personal development, 146
personal discomfort, and empathic communication, 111
personal goals, 151
personal lives, sharing at work, 87
personal presence audit, 58–59
assessing strengths and weaknesses, 64, 66
conducting, 58–59
managing reaction to feedback, 63
requesting participation, 61–62
personal presence brand, 18–19, 34–36, 202
and actions, 36–40
developing, 223
for job seekers, 221
worksheet, 37
personal presence development plan, 64–66
persuasion, body language and, 26
pessimistic thoughts, 45–46
converting to optimistic, 48–49
Seligman on, 46
physical reaction, to stress, 52–54
Picower Institute for Learning and Memory (MIT), 153
politics
and leadership, 1
learning about connections from, 78–79
positive attitude, 176
positive psychology, 45
possibilities, empathy creating, 124–125
posture, for public speaking, 203
power
of declarations, 184
of language, 178
PR firms, 3
PR professionals, 189
practice of presentation, 202
prefrontal cortex, 144–145
pregame rituals, 49, 50–51, 203, 222
developing, 51–52
presence
and brain, 149, 151, 152, 153, 154
elusiveness, 209–210
getting baseline, 57
and leadership, 2
as perception, 56–69
relying on, 49
trusted, 105–106
see also personal presence audit; personal presence brand
presence considerations
for career changers, 222–223
for CEOs and senior leaders, 215–217
for entrepreneurs, 217–219
for job seekers, 220–221
for professionals, 223–225
for women, 219–220
presentation, see public speaking
press interviews, 196–197
priorities, and vision, 175
problems, vs. solutions, focus on, 149–150
professional distance, vs. intimacy, 94
professionals, presence considerations for, 223–225
promotions, and attitudes, 117
psychology, 45
public relations, 1–2
public speaking, 42–43, 194–196
connection points with audience, 204–205
practice of, 202
starting from position of strength, 53
purpose, 179
motivation from, 157–158
purposelessness, 162
questions
for gaining good feedback, 62–63
of sales prospects, 102
quick feedback points (QFPs), 83, 99, 218
Quiet Leadership (Rock), 144
reactions
created by great intentions, 15
variations in, 44
Reagan, Ronald, 180
Redgate Communications, 67
reflection, making time for, 148–149
reinforcement of vision, 172–173
relatedness trigger, in threat-reward response, 156–157
relater style of empathic leader, 113
relating, in empathy cycle, 124
relationship building, 74
traits for trust, 92–93
reliability, in trust equation, 93
reorganizations, 175
reply-alls, hostile, 135
reputation, 3
resilience, 45
rewards, 206
for truth, 218
risk
in declarations, 182
in relationships, 96
Rock, David, 143–144, 146, 154
Quiet Leadership, 144
Your Brain at Work, 144
role modeling, 39
sales meetings, 197–198
Salovey, Peter, 108
SCARF model, 155–157
vision and, 166
Schwartz, Jeffrey, 148
Schwartz, Tony, 11
Scott, Susan, Fierce Conversations, 102
Segall, Chris, 126
self-awareness, 115
selflessness, 96
self-orientation, 95
in trust equation, 94
selling, trust and, 102
Senge, Peter, 169
senior leaders, presence considerations for, 215–217
7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey), 121
shared vision, creating, 169–171
short-term memory, 144
Sigman, Stan, 16–17
Silent Messages (Mehrabian), 25
situational intentions, 10, 19–20, 202
smartphones, reliance on, 135–136
social media
corporate guidelines, 137
unintentional notoriety, 136–137
social skills, 107
social triggers, and threat-reward response, 155–157
“soft skills,” 75
solutions, vs. problems, focus on, 149–150
speaking in public, 42–43, 194–196
connection points with audience, 204–205
practice of, 202
starting from position of strength, 53
spokesperson, 189
spotlight, discomfort in, 198–199
Starbucks, 35
status trigger, in threat-reward response, 156
guidelines for incorporating into communication, 85
in networking events, 192
strategic goals, vs. vision, 166
strategic shock value, 194–195
strengths
assessing weaknesses and, 64, 66
focus on, 150
stress, physical reaction to, 52–54
success
Cosby on, 209
vs. failure, learning from, 153
superior attitudes, 117
Sutton, Robert, 76
talk, vs. actions, 39–40
TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program), 126
learning about members, 118–119
meaningful vision for, 165
teamwork, vs. competition, 101
termination of employee, trust and, 104–105
texting, 130
“think week,” 168
thoughts
aligning with word and actions, 10
body language and, 29
negative, 11–13
optimistic or pessimistic, 46–47
threat-reward response, social triggers and, 155–157
threats, 206
360-degree review, 59–60
time
American Time Use Study, 220
email and saving, 131–132
and empathic communication, 111
of others, 198
for reflection, 148–149
for vision determination, 168
toxic tandem, 76
transformational change, 152–153
Treasury Department, Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), 126
treatment of fired employees, 104–105
in actions, 34
benefits, 90–91
competition and, 101–102
core variables, 93–94
and corporate reorganizations or layoffs, 99–100
factors impacting, 91
failure and, 100–101
finding, 97–105
and getting hired, 102–103
measuring, 94–95
performance issues and, 98–99
qualities associated with, 90
selling and, 102
termination of employee and, 104–105
“trust equation,” 93
The Trusted Advisor (Maister, Green, and Galford), 91, 93
trusted relationships, traits for, 92–93
truth teller style of empathic leader, 112
Twitter, 136
uncertainty, and shutdown, 153
understanding, and empathy, 121–122, 205
U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, American Time Use Study, 220
urgency, vs. importance, 33–34
vision, 161
communicating, 224
creating shared, 169–171
declarations and, 179
of entrepreneurial companies, 218
vs. goals, 165
and priorities, 175
sharing, 223
actions, 172–173
aspirations, 164–166
case study, 174–176
keeping head up, 173–174
personal aspects, 166–169
shared understanding creation, 169–172
Vistage International, 33, 42–43, 147
visualization, by athlete, 11
voice, for public speaking, 204
Vovici, 38–39
vulnerability, 82
balancing with competence, 76–77
weaknesses, focus on, 150
“why,” drawing attention to, 158
women, presence considerations for, 219–220
workday, never-ending, email and, 133–134
working mothers, 184–185
workplace cultural sensitivity, 190
workplace rules for dress, 28
worksheet, personal presence brand, 37
Your Brain at Work (Rock), 144
core values, 168
Zero Degrees of Separation Game, 120