Preface

We’re all experts at presence. I study it. You do too. Presence has many descriptions. We may call it confidence, or charisma, or being compelling—but we experience it the same. When we meet someone with a strong presence, we can feel it. And if the person is a leader, we are inspired by it.

Executive presence is the corporate “it” factor.

We are constantly assessing people in a variety of settings based on their presence. It is important to us because presence is a neon sign announcing who people are. Often, whether we decide to work with someone boils down to the individual’s executive presence.

Executive presence is multidimensional and dynamic. It means much more than being a great public speaker or making a fantastic first impression. It’s about impressions made over time. Executive presence doesn’t relegate itself to one segment of our professional lives. People who have a strong presence are able to connect with and inspire those around them across situations. That is never more important than when you need people to follow your lead through a period of uncertainty and change—precisely what today’s leaders at all levels must do every day.

Executive presence means much more than making a fantastic first impression. It’s about impressions made over time.

Like many things a person cares deeply about, my own personal interest with presence started when I was a kid growing up in a small town in West Virginia in the 1970s. Like most southern towns, my hometown had a clear line between social classes. My family was squarely working class, where people found jobs that simply paid the bills and a manufacturing position was considered top shelf. There was unstated yet palpable pressure to observe your station in life. Anyone seeming to rise above his class got called out for putting on airs. Who does he think he is? None of this came with malice. It just was.

I noticed at a young age how people carried themselves, especially when speaking with someone considered in a class above them. The first tactic was avoidance. Adults from different classes never mixed socially. Social power dynamics were visceral. You could almost see the intimidation exude from someone in conversation with a social superior. Growing up, I heard many discussions about how “one of them” demeaned “one of us” in a required exchange. No one questioned the authority of a person in a position of power. And forget about asking a lot of questions of your doctor. It just didn’t happen.

My grandmother was a different sort. I watched her carry herself through the world and make things happen. She was a small woman weighing only about 98 pounds, yet she had tremendous stature. She spoke to everyone, rich or poor, with confidence and dignity. She was always impeccably dressed, wearing a suit and heels most days, well into her 80s. People gravitated to her. She had a core group of friends her entire life. Her presence gave her power far beyond those around her, and everyone wanted to be near her, including me.

No one has absolute confidence. You just need to find a seed of confidence to create an environment where your full confidence can grow.

She had an amazing impact on me growing up. She instilled a sense of worth in me, advising me to walk tall, hold my head up, and look people square in the eye. She showed me how to talk to anyone as an equal. All of this motivated me to do better for myself—and my way out was education. I was a straight-A student all through school, which put me in classes with students mainly from professional families. I was always the poorest kid in the bunch. My life experience was embarrassingly small. I had never traveled more than a few hours from my hometown until I went away to college. To move in those circles all I had was my own presence. I figured out that no one has absolute confidence, but we have enough to get us started if we dig deep. And that seed creates an environment where your full confidence can grow.

Fast-forward to my final year at Virginia Tech, when I was nominated to be the outstanding senior for the entire college of Arts and Sciences, which graduates 800+ students each year. It was a huge honor. I was a communications major going up against the hard sciences and math scholars, you name it. The final three candidates were interviewed by a panel of judges for qualities of academic excellence, leadership, and community service. When I went in for the interview, I was riddled with nerves. All I could do was call on my presence—even if it was just a seed—to display confidence, excitement, and passion. I was told that my interview was the deciding factor. I won the award and was the first person from my department to receive that honor.

For graduate school I won a full scholarship to Purdue University, a top-five communications program known for deep social science research. There I pieced together a master’s program for myself around power in communications. I studied what made political candidates electable. I made it a lifelong pursuit to uncover the secret of presence because I knew the impact it had. I spent the first part of my career in politics, helping federal candidates get elected to office. When I entered the field, which runs on relationships and connections, I knew absolutely no one. All I had was my presence. I managed to get in front of the right people and built a network one person at a time. Looking back, sometimes I can’t believe I pulled it off.

Presence is the great equalizer. That’s true not just for me growing up, but for anyone in a professional situation. Presence has the power to bring people to you, and to open any door. I’ve relearned that power repeatedly throughout my career. I’ve leaned on my presence to work my way through corporate environments, strike out as an entrepreneur before the age of 30, manage a business through volatile markets, and reinvent myself a few times along the way. Not only does this confidence create presence, but more important, presence can create confidence. Today, in my job as an executive coach and leadership consultant, I work with people eager to have a more powerful presence. The concept of presence is nebulous for most people. They know it when they see it in others but are unsure of how to get it themselves. There’s a mystique about presence that suggests a person just has it, and perhaps people are born with it.

Executive presence is frequently misunderstood. Most often I hear it referred to as showmanship, or having the commanding presence of a titan of industry, even as you struggle with your first managerial position. In fact, executive presence doesn’t necessarily translate into being a fantastic presenter or showman, though that may be a powerful by-product. And it’s not exuding unabashed confidence regardless of the circumstances.

This book dispels myths about presence. It shines a light on what presence actually is and how it can be cultivated. I’ll show you why and how anyone, regardless of personality type, can strengthen their presence. It works for introverts as well as extroverts; it works without regard to position or level of power. And best of all, it has nothing to do with becoming someone you’re not; rather, it’s about being more of who you already are.

Executive Presence That’s for Everyone

Some people wonder, “What if I’m a professional but don’t consider myself an executive per se, or don’t aspire to the corner office? What if I’m a community leader, team manager, or entrepreneur?” I use the phrase executive presence because that’s the term most frequently used in business today. It conjures an image of confidence that we readily visualize. The concepts behind executive presence are exactly the same as those behind leadership presence, personal presence, or, simply, presence—and I use the terms interchangeably throughout the book. Keep in mind that although the ideas are presented within a business context, they will benefit you in all aspects of your life.

If You Want a Game Changer, This Book Is for You

I was driven to write this book because executive presence as a corporate requirement is reaching a fevered pitch. It is frequently showing up in performance reviews, and people routinely are getting hired, fired, and promoted based on it. Organizations are bringing in coaches (like me) to help leaders cultivate it. Presence has become one of the key differentiators—and a critical success factor—for professionals today.

And that makes sense. In a world where we have all become free agents who must constantly maintain our personal brand, differentiation is what it’s all about. Years of experience and service won’t prevent you from being downsized. Good performance alone won’t get you the promotion you want. Tried-and-true sales tactics feel stale when prospects can go online for any information they seek to make their buying decisions. Markets change on the whim of a college kid’s competitive idea, and leaders must adjust themselves and their people just as quickly. And if the most recent market downturn has taught younger workers anything, it’s that even a degree from an Ivy League school doesn’t guarantee you a job.

But a stronger presence can benefit anyone. Your presence can be your professional Midas touch. This book shows you how to use your presence to stand out and be the kind of person others clamor to work with—and how to do it in a way that feels natural and authentic to you. You’ll find this book especially helpful if you are:

— An executive trying to create a market-leading company

— A leader who must set a vision and galvanize others

— A manager of employees trying to increase or turn around performance

— A professional positioning for a promotion or new position

— An executive looking to rebrand yourself or change careers

— A job seeker interviewing for a new position

The game has changed. Powerful executive presence will be your personal game changer.