Harmony at Home: Getting Along with Your Loved Ones

Work-at-home freelancers who are married or live with a partner face an additional double-sided challenge: your home space and your office space are under the same roof, and any violation of the work-life balance tends to impact your co-habitant. (“What do you mean you have to work all weekend? My parents are coming!”)
I could have spent this chapter telling you, the freelancer, how to manage this delicate, two-pronged dilemma, but let me do you a favor instead. Just pass this book to your spouse or wife and direct him or her to the following Open Letter to Spouses and Partners of Freelancers. Go ahead—it’s addressed to them anyway. (I’m not kidding about this. Before this book was published, several freelancers shared this letter with their partners, and many reported that it actually improved the harmony in the home!)
An Open Letter to Spouses and Partners of Freelancers
Dear Significant Other,
You have the hardest job of all. Living with a freelance professional who works from home ain’t easy. We know that, and in the interest of peace and harmony at home, please allow us to make a few special requests …
Let us off the hook for past commitments. I know, we promised to build a deck, refinish the antique dining room table, and shingle the roof, but that was before we launched the business, and it’s unlikely we’ll have time to follow through on some or all of these things. Which of these are noncritical at this point in our life? Can we cancel or postpone them for now? Or pay someone else to do them?
Forgive if we forget. If you tell us something while we’re working, or in passing, we’re likely to forget. If you say “Annie has ballet this Saturday at 2 o’clock,” she may very likely be late, or miss it altogether, and have to run laps at the start of next week’s class when you take her. (This forgetfulness is much worse if we are male.)
Let’s start a family calendar (a paper or online version) where all those details are recorded, so we can keep track of things that are important to us both in our business and personal lives.
Help us protect our time. We creative/entrepreneurial types are not always the most disciplined people in the world, and we tend to get distracted easily. (Oh, you’ve noticed?) Please help us guard our time by resisting the urge to interrupt us when we’re hard at work. Even if you just pop into our office to tell us something quickly, this can be enough to send us off track for the next half-hour! Before we know it, we’re checking e-mail when we should be back to the task at hand, or we’re following you out into the kitchen to continue the conversation and make coffee. Staying focused and disciplined when you work from home is hard! So unless the house is on fire, let’s talk at dinner.
Be prepared for peaks and valleys in our cash flow. If we freelancers go a few weeks without much work, sooner or later we’ll feel it in the bank account. Try not to worry. If you honestly believe we’re working hard to make the business work, have faith that the ups and downs will smooth out.
Also, realize that we’re really at the mercy of whenever our clients get around to paying us. Some will be prompt; others will take their sweet time. It drives us crazy, too! But sometimes it’s beyond our control.
Help us relax. We’ve a lot on our minds! We’re constantly thinking about clients, our workload, how to market ourselves, how to get more and better work, and millions of other things about our business.
At the end of the day, or week, it can be hard to let go, wind down, and leave the business behind. But we want to! So let’s actually schedule some relaxing or romantic time together each week. We’ll go out to dinner, we’ll take a long walk, or we’ll just sit together on the couch and watch a movie. (Sans laptop.)
Oh, and, if we haven’t said it lately … we love you. And we’re so grateful you put up with us.
 
Sincerely,
Pete Savage, on behalf of your significant other
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