12 Big Mistake
Not Giving and Receiving Precise Feedback

Feedback is the breakfast of champions.

—Ken Blanchard

Feedback is critical to a person or a team that wants to continue to grow. It offers both the sender and the receiver an opportunity to grow. Providing feedback, as well as asking for feedback, is incredibly important and should happen on a regular basis. It can be hard to deliver and receive, and can produce conflict if not planned well or if the receiver is closed-minded. Yet feedback is vital to improving performance and building good relationships.

“My apologies if I was too harsh with you.”

In fact, a recent study by Zenger Folkman surveyed 22,719 leaders. Out of those surveyed, 10 percent were rated as not giving honest feedback to their direct reports. The engagement rate from that 10 percent was no higher than 25 percent. In other words, employees who did not get honest feedback were disengaged. From the survey, it was obvious that these employees were not committed to their employers or their jobs. In fact, they would have quit if they could have. Conversely, leaders who were ranked in the top 10 percent for giving honest feedback had employees who were completely engaged. These employees were, at minimum, 77 percent engaged in their jobs (http://zengerfolkman.com/the-best-gift-leaders-can-give-honest-feedback/).

Giving Feedback

The most important thing about feedback is that just giving it is not enough. The information provided needs to be specific, with detailed behavior modification examples. Many people do not know how to change their behavior based on feedback. Thus, we need to give people the “how to’s” so that they can modify their behavior.

According to a 2009 Gallup Feedback Study of 1,000 participants:

One in ten supervisors focus on employee weaknesses.

Employees receiving predominantly negative feedback from their managers are 20 times more likely to be engaged than those receiving little or no feedback.

Employees ignored by their manager are twice as likely to be actively disengaged compared with workers whose manager focuses on their weaknesses.

Managers focusing on employee strengths are 30 times more likely to have actively engaged workers compared with managers denying feedback.

Managers focusing on employee strengths are one third more likely to have actively engaged employees compared with managers focusing on weaknesses.

Managers giving little or no feedback to employees result in four out of ten workers being actively disengaged.

Managers giving little or no feedback to their workers fail to engage 98 percent of them.

As you can see, giving little to no feedback on an employee’s performance is twice as bad as focusing on the negative. To see the pole online, go to www.gallup.com/businessjournal/124214/driving-engagement-focusing-strengths.aspx

Best Practices

Feedback must be specific and focused on an observable behavior: “I noticed when you checked in Mr. Smith…” versus “When you check people in…”

Be timely but not reactive. Watch your tone of voice before you jump right into the feedback.

Feedback must be measurable and achievable. Do not say things like, “I feel like you can try harder.” Rather, “When meeting with clients, smile and make eye contact.”

Begin with the person’s strengths and then go into the areas of development.

There should be no surprises if you are a manager and it is related to the performance of your employees. Feedback should be given early and often.

Ask the recipients of the feedback for their ownership of the issue and their commitment to improvement.

Make sure you let the person know you support them, not the behavior.

Criticize the behavior, not the person.

Use clear words, not jargon or vague language.

Listen to the person’s comments and do not react with anger or defensiveness.

Summarize the feedback and highlight next steps.

Avoid extreme words like “always” and “never.”

Do not compare the person to peers. Discuss their performance and the expectations specifically for them.

Do not apologize for giving feedback.

Here are some suggestions on when (or when not) to give feedback.

When you should give feedback

When the employee has missed a goal and is not identifying the issues on his or her own.

When the employee is not meeting the requirements and expectations you have clearly stated.

When there is information among the employee’s peers that may derail his or her career.

When the issue is a performance problem and not merely an irritant.

When the employee is demonstrating behaviors that will be harmful to their career.

When you should not give feedback

When it is about your ego and not about enabling the employee to succeed.

When the employee delivers all goals on time and to the defined quality standards.

When there is a lack of supporting data or lack of alignment to the organization’s goals.

When you are emotional (for example, angry).

Feedback Conversation Planning

The following questions will help you prepare when you need to provide feedback to others:

What is the communication style of the person receiving the feedback?

What is going to make this person take notice of what you are saying?

What are three points you want to make? (If you cover too many points, you will lose focus.)

What are the benefits to the person if they change the behavior? That is, what’s in it for them?

What are the risks to both the person and the company if they don’t change the behavior?

What questions do you anticipate the person asking as you give feedback?

What solutions and time line can you both come up with during the feedback session?

How will you measure behavioral changes?

Ask Yourself These Crucial Questions

What have I learned from feedback others have given me?

How will I plan out my next feedback session?

How will I receive feedback going forward? What can I learn from this?

Receiving Feedback

You cannot be passive when receiving feedback. Based on the previously mentioned research, you can’t rely on consistent feedback from your peers or leaders. It is up to you to get the feedback you need to progress in your career. You cannot grow and develop without understanding how well, or how poorly, you just did on a task.

It has been found that direct and honest feedback and leadership effectiveness are aligned. The Zenger Folkman study that was mentioned at the beginning of the chapter also looked at this correlation. Out of 51,896 leaders who asked for feedback, the lower 10 percent were rated in the 15th percentile in overall leadership effectiveness. In contrast, those leaders who asked for feedback in the top 10 percent were rated in the 86th percentile in leadership effectiveness. The study ultimately shows that giving and receiving feedback are both imperative skills for effective leaders. People who work for leaders and are open to overall feedback are more engaged and committed.

Four-Step Process in Receiving Feedback

Ask: Make an appointment to meet with your leader on a regular basis. Ask for feedback after each project or event you feel you can improve upon.

Delve: When the person gives you feedback, ask at least three delving questions to find out specifically what they mean.

Next Steps: It is all about how you will implement the advice. Ask what solutions or actions you can take to be better next time. Ask what next steps can you take to improve. Plan “how” you will get there.

Follow-up: Ask when you can follow up with the person to insure that they see your progress and what more you can do to keep improving.

Best Practices in Receiving Feedback

Recognize that any feedback is an opportunity to learn.

Feedback is all around you and you are receiving it all day long, every day.

When you get a project or you are invited to a “by invitation only” meeting, you are receiving feedback.

When you do not get a project or an invitation to the meeting, you are also receiving feedback.

Be aware of the intentions of the person, but don’t read into them too much.

If you hear feedback from one person you do not respect, hold on to it and evaluate its validity. If you continue to hear the same thing from others, realize that the feedback is valid.

What Not To Do

Avoid getting emotional and displaying emotions such as crying or getting angry or defensive.

Keep your body language open. Do not cross your arms, make negative sounds, or shake your head no.

Do not say anything that you will regret later.

Do not try to make excuses or place blame on other people or events.

Do not talk negatively to colleagues about the person giving you feedback.

Do not disregard the feedback altogether.

Ask Yourself These Crucial Questions

What did you do with any feedback you have received in the last month?

Did you develop a plan of action to improve based on any feedback you have been given recently?

Have you followed up with the person giving you feedback to see if they have noticed any changes?