94. People Think Others Are More Easily Influenced than They Themselves Are

When I discuss the research on social validation (see #93) everyone in the room nods and talks about how this is true, that other people are very influenced by what others are doing, but most people I speak to think that they themselves are not very affected. I talk about how much we are affected by pictures, images, and words, and that we don’t realize we’re being influenced. And the reaction is always similar: “Yes, other people are affected by these things, but I am not.”

The Third-Person Effect

In fact, this belief that “others are affected but not me” is so common that there is research on it, and it has its own name: the third-person effect. The research shows that most people think others are influenced by persuasive messages but that they themselves are not. The research also shows that this perception is false. The third-person effect seems to be especially true if you think you aren’t interested in the topic. For example, if you are not currently in the market to buy a new TV, then you will tend to think that advertising about new TVs won’t affect you, but the research says that it will.

Why Do People Deceive Themselves This Way?

Why the self-deception? It’s partly because all this influence is happening unconsciously. People are literally unaware that they’re being influenced. And it’s also partly because people don’t like to think of themselves as easily swayed or as gullible. To be gullible is to not be in control, and the old brain—the part that is concerned with survival—always wants to be in control.

Don’t Give Up On Your Plan to Persuade

Have you ever had people come up to you before you start a presentation and say, “There might be people here who aren’t familiar with your topic, but I think many people are like me—we’re already familiar with the material” or “We’ve already made up our minds.” Of course it’s possible that these statements are true, but it is also likely that the individual, and the group, is not as knowledgeable or as resistant to influence as they say they are. If you’ve “done your homework” about your audience, don’t abandon your plan or your presentation if someone says that they are not easily influenced. They may be more influenced than they think.