STRATEGY

No matter how often we're advised to keep our personal and business lives separate, they invariably become intertwined the longer we hold a particular position. That's only natural since we spend most of our waking hours in the workplace. But there are times when the connections lead to problems. It's likely every manager will one day be required to fire a close friend. If your good friend has just told you that they have to fire you, you have to take advantage of their guilt and inevitable offers of personal help. For the moment, don't look at this person as your friend; look at them as a tool you can wield to mitigate the effects of what is happening. Instead of asking for personal help, prod them for as much information as possible about the severance package you'll be offered and how much flexibility they've been given. Having just told you they'll be firing you, and having offered whatever personal help they can provide, they aren't going to be able to withhold any information. Your goal is to get inside information to help in your preparation of a counteroffer, and to smooth the way for your going over your friend's head if necessary.

TACTICS

• Attitude: For the purposes of this issue look at your friend as a tool to help you mitigate the damage of the termination.
• Preparation: You won't be able to prepare for this conversation, but you want to use your relationship as a way to prepare for the severance negotiation that will follow.
• Timing: Try to get as much time before the formal termination as possible so you can research your options.
• Behavior: Don't spend time making your friend feel better. There will be time for that later. Instead, use their guilt to help you get as much as you can in severance.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

• Use a friend's influence to help with an important customer or client.

KEY POINTS

• You have to take advantage of your friend's guilt and inevitable offers of personal help.
• Prod them for as much information as possible about the severance package you'll be offered and how much flexibility they've been given.
• Realize you'll probably need to go over your friend's head to get a better package.
• Don't waste time assuaging their guilt.