STRATEGY

It's difficult to reject a direct report's family members for employment without the individual taking it personally. In order to avoid this, you need to reinforce their value to the company and make it clear the rejection is clearly a business decision, not a reflection on them. Let them know you share in their disappointment, while at the same time explaining your decision is non‐negotiable. Your goal is to help them understand and accept the reasons behind your decision.

TACTICS

• Attitude: Be firm but show understanding and appreciation for an employee who wants to help out their family member.
• Preparation: If the direct report is asking that you hire a son or daughter for summer work, know what the company's policy and history is on this practice. Also know what your budgetary constraints are. If you're being asked to hire someone full time, know what the applicant's qualifications are, what (if any) positions are open in the company, and what salary range the applicant was looking for.
• Timing: Especially in the case of the employee seeking a summer job for a son or daughter, inform them as quickly as possible; they'll need time to look elsewhere. Also, keep in mind that this is a conversation best held at the end of the work day, so they can get home and break the news to their child.

  
  

• Behavior: Show sympathy for what the employee is trying to do; don't sit behind your desk when the two of you talk, nod empathetically when they speak, and keep eye contact to show your genuine concern. You want them to understand that their request is being rejected, not them.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

• Turn down a friend or relative's request to hire their child.
• Turn down a direct report's request to circumvent any company procedure.

KEY POINTS

• Be clear at the outset that it is impossible for you to hire the employee's son or daughter, but that it's no reflection on either the child or the employee.
• Reinforce the employee's value to the company.
• Demonstrate your concern by suggesting alternative places of employment.
• Avoid taking responsibility for your employee's anger; make it clear that this is their problem the two of you are addressing, not yours.
• If necessary, stand up to indicate that the meeting is over.
• If the employee is asking you to do a favor by showing their child some form of preferential treatment, make it clear that you simply won't do this, while at the same time reinforcing the employee's value to the company.
• Offer a letter of reference to demonstrate to your employee that you have confidence in their child's abilities.
• Don't make promises you can't keep.