Chapter 10

Making a Quiet Difference

“Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man.”

Iain Duncan Smith, British Politician

As I write this conclusion, I am reflecting on a series of group coaching calls I had today with Quiet Influencers in an information technology organization. As we discussed some of their leadership hurdles, I couldn’t help but notice the obvious preparation they had done for the call. Every now and then, the line was silent as they carefully thought about their words and shared their insights and experience to help others on the call move forward. To me, these productive sessions presented a microcosm of Quiet Influence at its best.

Like these professionals who aspire to make a difference, the people you met in this book and the experience and lessons they shared imparted a key message: introverts can be highly effective influencers when they make the most of their own natural strengths instead of trying to act like extroverts.

I believe their stories have staying power. I hope you remember Julie and how Taking Quiet Time helped her hatch a lifesaving initiative. I trust that you’ll be inspired by the story of Jake’s perseverance and how his intensive use of Preparation paid off for a tough teacher training initiative. When you need to tune into a person, perhaps you will recall how Elisha’s Engaged Listening made such a powerful difference in building trust. And as you plan a new initiative, you may remember Haley Kilpatrick’s effective use of Focused Conversations as she launched Girl Talk and helped so many young girls grow in self-confidence. When you face an opportunity to persuade others through Writing, you can think of Helen Thorpe and how her compassionate writing helped readers understand the backstory of immigration. And humble Selah Abrams may come to mind when you want to bring about change by tapping into the power of a Thoughtful Use of Social Media to rock the world.

Each of these Quiet Influencers and the many others profiled in this book went beyond their comfort zones to talk about themselves and their strengths. My greatest hope is that you will be inspired by their stories to reach into your own rich reservoir of strengths to stretch to new levels of influence.

From Inspiration to Action

Move from inspiration to action by putting your own influencing plans in place. Take the next step by reflecting on these questions and record your answers.

1. Which stories from the book particularly inspired you? What lessons did they demonstrate?

2. Now that you’ve read the book, review your QIQ results in chapter 3. What strength is the highest priority for you to focus on now?

3. Take a look at the five summary points in “Your Next Steps” at the end of chapters 4 through 9. Which two or three tools or tips resonated the most with you in each chapter?

4. Look at your responses to the questions at the end of chapters 4 through 9. How can you use your newfound insights to address the influencing challenge you identified at the end of chapter 3?

Now it’s time to move beyond reflection and into doing something about that influencing challenge. Consider these steps:

1. Sketch out a brief influencing plan or develop a more elaborate one to address your influencing challenge.

2. Sit with it for a few days.

3. Run it by someone you trust and then adapt it as you see fit.

4. Take action and reward yourself for moving forward on your Quiet Influencing journey!

“Poco a Poco”

No matter where you start, always remember to acknowledge your efforts in trying on new influencing behaviors. Savor each moment of success and learn from things that don’t go exactly as planned. As the Spanish expression goes, it’s “poco a poco”—or in English, “little by little.” Don’t get overwhelmed and think you have to try all the new ideas in this book at once. Persevere along your journey one step at a time instead of trying to make a wholesale change right away. Remember, influencing is a process, not an event. You will fail and you will succeed. Both experiences will move you forward and increase your QIQ. Progress comes from being willing to try and stay open to continuous learning.

And your reward? Seeing that you are successfully challenging ingrained ways of thinking, that your new ideas are taking hold, that changes you envisioned are coming about, and that others are moving forward with your inspiration. In your own quiet way, you will be making the difference that you were naturally born to make.