Quiz 25
Am I Approachable?
Some folks are “people people.” They’re genuinely curious about others and willing to give strangers the benefit of the doubt. They like everyone—at least until someone proves himself to be unlikable. Their friendly, open attitude is communicated in various ways to people all around them. Consequently they become virtual people magnets.
Other people might as well be walking around with “Do not disturb” signs hung around their necks. They seem to give off an aura that says, “Don’t come hither.” Their manner inspires others to give them a wide berth.
Which type are you? Take the quiz and see.
Take the Test
For each of the following statements, indicate the number that corresponds to the level of frequency with which you behave as the statement describes:
1. Never
2. Rarely
3. Sometimes
4. Often
1. I have a ready smile.
2. I make eye contact with people.
3. I’ve been known to eavesdrop on conversations of people around me.
4. In spare moments, I have my nose in a book, newspaper, or magazine.
5. I’ve stopped on the street to sign a petition or to give money.
6. I am pleased with my physical appearance.
7. I walk around wearing headphones.
8. I am a people watcher.
9. I have helped a stranger in need.
10. I engage in small talk.
11. I give compliments.
12. I expose myself to different points of view.
13. I am not interested in other people’s problems.
14. I find myself at a loss for words.
15. I am self-conscious.
16. I have been complimented on my sense of humor.
17. I feel pressed for time.
18. People come to me for advice.
19. I am good at making people feel at ease.
20. I find it hard to relax.
Scoring and Explanation
Before tallying your total points, be sure to reverse the score (4 = 1, 3 = 2, 2 = 3, 1 = 4) for the following items: 4, 7, 13, 14, 15, 17, 20. Remember, in reversing the score, high numbers are traded for low and vice versa. Unless you reverse the scores for the items listed—and only for the items listed—your result will be inaccurate. See the Introduction to this book for a full explanation of reverse scoring.
Tally your points:
• A score of 66-80 indicates that you are approachable. You appear to be open and agreeable: a “people person.” These characteristics make people feel it is safe to interact with you—whether it’s to ask for directions or to begin—at least potentially—a deeper relationship. Odds are you have many friends and affable relationships with everyone from co-workers and neighbors to the cashiers at your local supermarket and the tellers at your bank.
• A score of 55-65 indicates that you are somewhat approachable. Your level of openness and agreeableness is probably contingent on the specific situation you are in, as well as the mood you are in. There are times when you give “Come hither” signals, and other times when your manner says “Keep away.” There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s always a good idea to be sure you are aware of what signals you’re giving off when. If you want to be approached, make a conscious effort to emerge from your “own little world.”
• A score of 54 or below suggests you are not very approachable. And maybe that’s just the way you like it! You tend to be suspicious of strangers, and impatient with people in general. On the bright side, you’ll rarely get a cold because few people can get close enough to you to spread their germs.
But seriously, if you’d like to be more approachable, notice the cues you are giving off that are working against you. Are you walking around with a grimace on your face? Are you cocooning in public—all wrapped in your iPod and your daily paper? Don’t expect to break out of your cocoon and become a butterfly overnight, but try flashing a smile once in a while. You might meet someone who changes your less-than-sterling opinion of your fellow humans.
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