In This Chapter

Detached, objective, analytical, and rational, Observer/Thinkers don’t want to be overwhelmed with feelings, personal sharing, or high expectations from others. A knowledge seeker par excellence, you’re happiest spending your time researching the subjects in which you want to become an expert.

5s crave the learning experience. Do you tear something apart and put it back together again just to see how it works? Do you study cause-and-effect relationships and develop theories about them? Do you see yourself as an observer, wondering what is really true and what is conjecture?

If objectivity defines you, and you tend not to take things personally, welcome to your type. You’re a 5!

5s are reflective. You love the process of analysis and may have a strong scientific or technical bent. Repeat the experiment to check accuracy? Yes, sir! Let’s think and not get emotional about it. A healthy skepticism is welcome, and while you approve of tried and true methods, you are also open to new approaches and methods.

Innovations, new perspectives on old ideas, or combining ideas or fields of interest to create new realities are your cup of tea. You use your brain’s creative power to unfold new possibilities and then test them with as much proof or logic as possible. 5s are rational and don’t fall prey to whimsical thought or personal impulses, though growth includes trusting your intuition as information.

5s are objective, independent thinkers. You improve the quality of life for the rest of us. Science beckons you, and technology is your playing field, though you will enter the art world to explore it with objectivity and experimentation. You manage quite nicely on your own. You value yourself and don’t need approval from others, but it’s nice when you’re appreciated for your creative thinking. Codependent relationships are the farthest from your mind. You don’t glom onto others or expect others to compensate for your shortcomings. You want to see the world from a dry place—no personal spins. Show you the truth—you can take it!

5s don’t like small talk—it wastes time. You want to spend your time in substantial learning. The Big Idea beckons. NASA employees, inventors, and advanced-degree professors are 5s, driven to pursue and teach the latest creative thinking.

You might not be a brilliant conversationalist, but you engage in brilliant conversations. It’s a challenge to join in for the rest of us! You protect your personal space and don’t dump your personal self or emotions onto others. You respect privacy, yet listen if others want to share.

5s don’t get caught in emotional reactivity, though inner emotions can get stirred. You observe emotional states and learn from them. What do they represent? How can I change them? Curiosity at its height, 5s constantly explore. You see people buffeted by the storms of personal reactions, and you want to make life work better. 5s don’t repeat what doesn’t work.

In a nutshell, positive traits of 5 include …

5s are skeptics. While 5s may have the highest percentage of agnostics or atheists of all the types, 5s respect the universe and are awed by the possibilities of studying it. Constantly curious, 5s create theories and integrate disciplines, analyze and classify, and develop concepts on how the universe works. How are physics and chemistry and biology related? How are the components of cells similar to components of stars? 5s ask the big questions and are always seeking the answers. The Big Bang theory, quantum physics, natural selection, and the theory of relativity—all about origins and deeper levels of reality—were invented by 5s. Natural philosophers, 5s create frames of understanding on the nature of reality. The mind has a spiritual focus, too—excitement abounds.

5s generally don’t mind exploring the dark side of life, actually a positive trait. You are fascinated by everything—what is to be avoided or dark to one person is interesting to another. Dark is self-defined and exploring what is unknown becomes less dark. 5s can be curious when others shy away. Violence, future predictions, science fiction, dinosaurs, viruses? Fascinating!

5s can detach and see the mind as a mechanism to study. For instance, some 5s can watch scary movies or even romantic movies and not be affected emotionally. Instead, you can observe what is going on and investigate it. 5s can analyze people and not seem personally engaged or empathic. You don’t necessarily show the signs of caring or concern, yet can care. You observe life from a distance, trying not to be personally affected. Yet, you are affected more than others think.

5s withdraw, as a norm. You need time and space to think, and so you protect the private self. Sometimes, you are afraid to feel too much emotion, and you disengage. This protects you from pain, from revealing needs, and from feeling too attached to others. Because your tendency is not to react, you can be hard to read, and don’t give many clues as to what’s happening inside. It’s easy for others to project you are thinking poorly of them, because you give few signs of excitement, pleasure, or agreement. You’re checking things out and playing your cards close to the chest, or mind!

As a 5, you don’t often reveal personal needs, even to yourself. You’re comfortable keeping things a bit distant. You’re amused by private thoughts and conclusions, by what you detect in yourself, as well as in others.

5s can seek vicarious thrills, and may even be sexual voyeurs. Observation is easier than taking the risk of personal involvement, so others’ desires or emotions can excite 5s. You are fairly spacious with accepting others’ uniqueness, so judgments are limited. You do make judgments if you perceive someone isn’t smart or hasn’t researched well.

You isolate to such a degree that you avoid reality; evading the trials and tribulations of relationships. You like to keep life focused on a mental frame and tend to avoid the body, social needs, and emotional states such as jealousy, competition, and rejection. Albeit a paradox, you want to understand before you act, but once you understand, there’s no need to act!

It’s hard work, drawing you out of your isolation and into relationships. 5s resist the emotional context of mutual sharing and revelation and see this disclosure as a loss of control. Because 5s live in the mind, comprehension can seem like the end product for 5s, so others may give up and go elsewhere for a relationship. Of course, this just reinforces the emotional isolation for 5s. Many 5s do connect to emotions, the body, and spirit, realizing that there’s more to existence than just the mind and ideas!

Worst traits of the type include these foibles:

The Stress type of 5 is 7, the Optimist/Fun Lover. When 5s are stressed for a period of time, thinking becomes scattered, like a 7. You sample a bit of everything, but tend not to go that deeply into anything. You feel ungrounded, are easily distracted, and can’t make decisions. You then seem jumpy—the mind is revved up and can’t stop. Subjects change quickly. It’s not so much a brainstorm as a brain tornado. The positive side of 7 can be developed, too—more play and experience without having to get too lost in thinking. Have a good time, laugh, and be silly. 5s can seem serious with study and the move to 7 can lighten things up.

Decision-making for 5s is an exercise in careful consideration and logical analysis of all options. You don’t want to be rushed. Once you’ve processed everything, you’ll arrive at an independent decision. There’s no place for personal desires and agendas, so you distrust others’ input.

Your objectivity can be useful in a crisis. You keep your head, listen to constructive feedback, and don’t swing from one emotional pole to another. You remain stable.

If you’re working with 5s, be prepared for an information-evaluation process, rather than a quick decision. You may feel left out. Push the 5 to share the process, as well as the result. If you must challenge a decision, use a logical approach. You’ll need good evidence as backup.

5s can be one of the easier types to pick out of a crowd, particularly if they’re engaged in conversation. 5s focus on knowledge as their primary interest. Gestures are more limited and there’s little, if any, small talk. There can be a detached quality, particularly in men, that seems removed of heart or feeling. 5s usually spend lots of time alone.

5s offer fewer nonverbal cues than other types. They gesture less frequently, and when they do, their gestures are often around the head area, where the type excitement is expressed. Listen well when they talk, as they won’t repeat themselves!

Other nonverbal cues:

5s tend to talk about what they are studying—the mind, politics, sciences, fifth century B.C.E. Etruscan pottery! Social venues are astronomy meetings, chess clubs, political discussion groups, classical music gatherings, and mathematics clubs. They talk about subjects that might be over your head. Often the subject of 5s’ talk is their area of research, but they can also be intellectual innovators. They are skeptical, on average, and you may see them on television as the hired scientific experts—debunkers of television psychics, for example. Yet if the information seems accurate and provable, 5s may explore astrology, psychic awareness, and other esoteric arts.

Other verbal cues:

Developed 5s use heart and mind. In attunement with the body, you engage in life, rather than withdraw and detach. You trust intuition, as well as analysis, and are giving and nonjudgmental. Gifted with intelligence, developed 5s understand that others have gifts as well: musical ability, athletic talent, and virtuosity in the arts.

Most 5s wage a struggle between feeling distanced from the world and seeking inclusion in it. Your analysis and categorizing take precedence over involving yourself in life. You can be open to new ways of thinking, so long as there’s proof the new ways have validity. Relationships can be compartmentalized and distanced and emotions repressed. The heart needs to deepen, with an allowance for being affected by the need for connection over the tendency to isolate.

Undeveloped 5s tend to isolate themselves, living in the private world of the mind, not getting much feedback. Other people can seem strange, with their petty concerns and need for people or power. You try to be competent in a special field of knowledge but don’t necessarily share that competence. The world can seem like a dangerous place, and 5s can isolate further, possibly wanting to connect, but not being able to.

5 children typically retreat to live in their own private worlds. They develop knowledge-related interests that may or not be supported by the family and they spend time alone, developing their interests. Science toys, computers, and books on how things work are some of the gifts 5 children might appreciate. Observer children typically spend more time learning than participating in team sports, dance classes, or social skill building. The world can seem a bit daunting and 5s would just as soon spend time alone practicing an instrument, studying, or spending time with a special friend. Emotional and social expectations are generally difficult for the 5 child to comprehend.

Parents of a 5 may pressure the child to socialize, thinking something is wrong with a child who tends to spend so much time alone. 5 children don’t seek the social spotlight, though they might be the brightest kids at school. Other kids may envy their smartness or may label them as nerds, misfits, or social wallflowers.

5s don’t necessarily adapt well to school systems, as they are often bored. More intelligent than many of their peers and sometimes more intelligent than their teachers, 5s grow up to be lifetime students, whether on their own or in established settings that allow them to grow and learn. Many 5s pursue advanced degrees.

5 children need help with social skill building, group engagements, and group sports—if they are interested. 5s are almost always introverted and shy away from groups and even being called on in class, even though they often know the answers. They can be picked on for being different, as they’re not too concerned with dress, image, or adulation. If and when they talk, it might not be about the most popular subjects—rather, natural science, science fiction, politics, or philosophy. These kids are independent and okay alone but could use help in connecting with others.

Type 5 parents are often overwhelmed, particularly with young kids. One 5 woman was used to reading 20 books a month before she became a mother; she didn’t read a single book for years while raising her three children. Many 5s are not used to picking up on the emotional needs of children—the need to talk and listen, the need for attention, the need for special caring.

5s can be overwhelmed with a needy child who’s all over them. Children are irrational, and that’s the bane of 5s. One moment wanting this, another moment wanting that, crying, competing. There’s a lot to learn, and as another 5 mom said, “That’s the time to read a book on parenting.”

5s usually figure out some of what’s going on, but because you are used to logic and learning, it’s a challenge. 5s need to ferret out previously unknown needs and feelings. Most 5 parents provide an opportunity for children to learn and grow—lots of books and encyclopedias, computers, and classes. 5s can teach and have knowledgeable conversations with their kids and hopefully learn to explain things in ways that work.

5 parents tend to prepare their kids for the real world—for example, how to read people and what to watch out for with people’s motivations. 5s don’t hide the truth and tend to provide guidelines, rather than strong rules. 5s promote independence in a child.

5s parents can be hard to read, often due to limited facial expressions, which can increase anxiety in a child. Avoiding or limiting hugs and touch can be difficult for children. Having constant physical expression and excitement can be too much for many parents, but especially 5s, who prefer either quiet or mental stimulation.

5s are more interested in learning than in what to eat, what to wear, and the details of daily life. You pursue thinking about and deepening your knowledge about current reality and topics you want to understand. The mind focuses on new pathways and discoveries. Among the other things 5s think about are the following:

What 5 adults wish they could say:

5s can feel socially awkward. Typically you learn from the mind and might not pick up body cues or the complexity of social cues, what is appropriate to do socially, or how to read individuals in terms of preferences, defensive states, or hidden meanings. People can be fairly hard to read and may reject you or be upset if you read wrong. Understanding other people is not so systematic as studying bugs or rocks or scientific or philosophical theory! You can be overwhelmed or angry at expectations that make no sense or seem too much. Why expose your confusion and enter the world of emotions?

5s like measured relationships. You protect your own needs, even from yourself, and feel out of control if desire, fear, anger, sadness, or joy is too strong. Control is important for you, and a partner with too many needs takes you to unfamiliar and uncomfortable terrain. Relationships expose irrationality, projections, misunderstanding, and chaos. Your response is to distance yourself and study the situation through your analytical mind filter. You feel safer alone, but your partner feels rejected.

You certainly can listen and often listen well, as listening is safer than sharing. You’d rather have others lead the discussion. More misinterpretation and hurt feelings arise if people don’t listen well and interpret correctly. You give critical analysis and feedback, often useful. Sometimes, though, you can miss the mark, if you haven’t had enough emotional experience in your background. You read others as more detached than they are and are surprised that people seem so reactive. Isn’t information and talk enough?

A 5’s privacy and lack of effusiveness can be torture for types that thrive on revelation, sharing, juicy tidbits, and emotional depth. People often have to guess what is going on for the 5 and would be shocked by what the 5 is actually thinking. Share their process as it is happening, instead of merely revealing conclusions that can be painfully mysterious for others.

Want to know what’s happening with a 5? Be direct! 5s often don’t forward information unless asked. 5s need to know it is okay to explore feelings without having to overdefine them. In relationships, give 5s as much advance notice as possible, even if they don’t do likewise. 5s like to prepare and are threatened when caught off guard with sudden emotions, expectations, changed plans, or new input that requires instant attention or decisions.

You like to control life by keeping it intellectual and analytical. You like to put things in categories, keep it objective, and not have the messiness of emotions, needs, upsets, illogic, and expectations placed on you. You learn when you see that life is often irrational and beyond your control. Reactions, selfishness, power, control, and manipulations are all part of the dance.

There’s a lot to learn, so keep up the curiosity and have the courage to face other ways of learning that are even more challenging. Use your strengths to explore and don’t mind some confusion, fear, overwhelming, or uncontrolled feelings. You can study them too!

You definitely are not an eat, drink, and be merry type. Though with the comforts of the mind—books and a desire to have unlimited free time to study and explore—the sky’s the limit. Set up your life to have that free time and see that all learning is valuable, even the chaos of relating, conflict, and stress.

The Growth type for 5 is 8, the Director/Powerhouse, a Body type that is direct with communication, impulsive in actions, and trusting of the animal instinct, all good traits you go to when you develop yourself. It’s good to balance your brilliant mind with body intuition, act from your natural feeling instead of overthinking, and also go into action, trusting that you’ll figure it out along the way. You don’t need so much preparation, anyway.

The 8 integration protects you from mental obsessions, drives you to be more in your body (play sports, listen to what your body needs, eat well, exercise), and gives you permission to be more spontaneous. Live more in your body and you will be more powerful, your ideas will have more of a punch, and you will speak with more determination and strength. Some 5s are very 8-like in that they’re more direct and have a heavier body build.

5s are mentally creative, always up for new learning and integration of knowledge. Repetition and outdated information makes you crazy. You’re often a wiz at computer games, Scrabble, word games, and chess. You’re relentless in your pursuit of new knowledge, often building intuitively on previous information.

5s are drawn to fields of work characterized by data gathering, data analysis, technology, and theoretical research. You’ll find 5s populating the computer field, engineering, the hard sciences (physics, chemistry, mathematics), library science, and R&D (research and development).

5s take research to the next level to create new products. Many film editors, animators, graphics wizards, screenwriters, book writers, and musicians are 5s. You’ll also find them in art and science museums, creating exhibits, or as directors. 5s are analysts, political columnists, and commentators. 5s need to have work environments with as much autonomy and privacy and as few interruptions as possible. Power struggles and office politics leave them cold. They often have unbounded imaginations. Reading tastes may lean toward science fiction and writers such as Isaac Asimov.

5s aren’t initially drawn to leadership in the traditional sense. You give office politics a wide berth and being in charge of a department or corporation may give you cold sweats. You tend to take on positions of leadership by default due to your expertise. You would prefer others do the leadership—with you in charge of knowledge-oriented goals or projects. “I’d rather work with peers as a sole contributor,” is a typical comment from a 5.

You’d rather not lead. All those people, with all their needs, getting in the way of your private time. Then there’s the blame game—it’s not appealing to be singled out for the blame if things go wrong. Influencing people, swaying opinions, giving special attention to other power players, constantly monitoring others, dealing with people issues, and managing conflicts—these are not what you want to do.

Everyone should be self-directed, independent, self-motivated—just like you! Knowledge-based learning is what’s important. Your needs for intimacy, image, and connection are less pronounced than in other types. Motivations related to image, money, and social needs usually are secondary to the your drive for security, privacy, and time to learn. Money, like image and other outward symbols of success, serves a deeper purpose that relates to learning and related experiences. Money buys the ability to control your own time.

5s’ leadership strengths include the ability to detach, delegate responsibilities to others, support independence, and strategically plan. You are experts at what you do and can lead from a position of knowledge. From your observation post, you can select competent professionals to help you in your own leadership process and development.

5s will take on leadership to fill a void or to forward important knowledge-based goals. 5s manage best if others help to network, market, handle conflicts, and deal with politics. 5s can create connections with small groups but may find large group settings difficult.

5s need to develop being spontaneous, as your managerial style tends toward over-preparation. You grow when you trust your own abilities, develop people skills, and stay engaged without retreating to your ivory tower. Share your thinking to keep your constituents involved.

5s can differ greatly within the type. 5s with the stronger 4 wing can be the individualists, preferring to have a touch of creativity and emotional awareness in the process. 5s with the 6 wing are more systemic in the thinking process and are less about their own individuality and more interested in forwarding knowledge about how systems work. The Self-Preservation subtype is the most private of the subtypes. The Social subtype can be quite social around knowledge gathering and sharing. The Sexual subtype can be very engaging in a close relationship, revealing personal information and interested in yours, as well.

There are two wings for 5: the 5 with a 4 wing (5/4) and the 5 with a 6 wing (⅚):

There are three Instinctual subtypes for the 5:

The Least You Need to Know