Chapter 18
Relating to Colleagues and Managers: Team Building and Type
• Teams that work and teams that don’t
• How the Enneagram helps with team cohesion
• How an ideal team works together
• Creating your best team at work
• How to relate to your boss
Most organizations and teams have a mixture of types. Just as with chemicals, explosions can occur with the wrong mix. How do you minimize the explosions and maximize the chemicals that work well together? How can the types interrelate on a team for the most fun and efficiency? How do you relate to someone who has power over you?
Understanding the type strengths and limitations of your boss and managers will help in knowing how to optimally communicate your preferences and differences. Knowing what communication and leadership skills you need to develop will position you for efficiency, confidence, and more camaraderie. The more you know about yourself and differences with others, the more you can work on a team, using your individual strengths, yet having the ability to interrelate who you are with others’ skill sets and strengths.
How Teams Work and What Works Best
A team is a group of individuals who work as a unit to produce a specific outcome. If the team dynamics are productive, there is minimal conflict and each member works to achieve the goal, rather than being the Lone Ranger, vying for attention or acclaim. When each type contributes his or her best, individual differences are optimized, bringing forth fresh ideas or new perspectives. Clarity and understanding are keys to team cohesion. What is easy for one type may be difficult for another. The Enneagram is a useful tool to understand type differences and make sense of each person’s perspective and concerns.
What Doesn’t Work
When a team clashes internally, the worst culprit is likely to be type prejudice. When this occurs, certain types and type characteristics are consistently valued over others. Misunderstanding about type perspective can kill a team. Whoever has the most power can either enhance others’ creativity or dominate and shut it down. Safety, clear goals, and structures are important. If something isn’t working, whatever is causing the problem needs to be fixed. If team members start protecting their image or ego, or over compete, rather than relaxing and supporting everyone’s best aspects, stress ensues. Some real-life examples of an Enneagram trainer working with various teams are presented in the following sections. Each team was greatly enhanced by the Enneagram information and strategies.
Questioners Want Their Questions Answered
The background: a team made up of 10 individuals worked in a research-development company, creating software for voice-recognition devices. Four of the members were 6s, two were 5s, and the rest were a mix of other types.
The concern: team members were worried about how long their contract would last, as the company shareholders didn’t want to extend funding for the project. The unknown was creating anxiety and affecting work. The 6s were especially concerned.
The solution: taking into account the 6s, who would rather have bad news than no news, the Enneagram trainer coached the top management, a 4 and an 8, to share more about the possible longevity of the company and project with the employees.
The result: the bosses, with the trainer’s support, immediately shared what they knew, which was still probability rather than fact. Even though the news wasn’t concrete, there was some relief and better productivity during the remainder of the project’s run. The team training included ways the Head types—the majority—could work more effectively with the Image and Body types.
Insights
Certain types have an affinity to certain projects or work environments—5s and 6s are more drawn to research projects whereas models, for instance, are more likely to be Image types.
Boss and Mediator Clash
The background: A small training company had four employees. There was the boss (8/9), an administrator/trainer (9/1 with a Stress type of 6), and the other two trainers (9/8 and 1). The administrator and the boss were in conflict.
The concern: The Type 8 boss wanted paperwork and proposals to move more quickly, which would move training projects along and generate revenue. He preferred to speak without having to think about his words before he spoke. He was direct and tried a, to him, peaceful approach with the Type 9 administrator, but found it difficult. The 9/1 administrator didn’t like the perceived rough and quick tone of the 8. This caused the 8 boss to hold back too much and eventually explode from the repression. The 9/1 wanted to do things right and orderly, and her Stress type of 6 contributed to the hesitancy and slower pace. The 8 didn’t care about that, “Just get it done and send it off.” The other two employees were being affected by the 8 and 9 conflict and felt pressured to choose sides. The 9/8 already got along fine with the boss.
The solution: With coaching, the team recognized there were some big differences in their communication—both delivery and reception. Several role-plays built confidence in talking and interpreting what was happening. The boss was coached to be direct, not hold back, but talk in a more sensitive, connecting tone. The 9 was coached to listen and accept that the 8 was speaking in his normal tone, which was somewhat loud and direct, but not demeaning.
The result: With everything out in the open and some tools to work with, the operation worked much better for a while, until it needed some reinforcement the following year.
Church Headquarters—Peace and Prejudice
The background: Over a period of years, an Enneagram trainer worked at the headquarters of a Unitarian Church with four teams, each consisting of approximately 15 people. All nine types were represented on the teams. Type 9s were the majority on each team, with one exception, which had 1s dominant. 2s or 6s equally ranked third in representation.
The concern: The major conflict was between 1s and 9s. The 1s tended to want things done in specific ways, with more detail and conviction. 9s, wanting to avoid conflict, were less outspoken. 1s complained that the 9s wouldn’t or couldn’t take a clear stance on what they believed or wanted. As is often the case, the silence of the peacemakers was creating conflict. Because Type 9 was predominant, they were having a powerful influence, not only on each team but on the whole organization. Others wondered about, and sometimes misread, the 9s’ seeming reticence to express themselves.
The solution: The Enneagram trainer encouraged the 9s to see how powerful they actually were, both in positive qualities and acceptance abilities, as well as in their passivity and avoidance, and coached them to speak up more for what they believed. The 1s discovered that sometimes they were too strong in their beliefs and more critical than they realized. Their criticism related to adherence to certain principles or guidelines. The 6s were good at strategic planning and noticing problems or potential problems. The 2s, small in number, kept the group focused positively and helped individuals to connect to each other and take action. A few 3s and 8s led the charge.
The result: Overall, the teams worked well together, both internally and across teams, as purpose and mission were very much in alignment. There were just some differences with carrying out the mission, some normal power struggles, and some misinterpretations. The types were encouraged to have more dialogue and share their viewpoints and differences. The 9s in particular were encouraged to speak up more. Most underrepresented were the Image types; therefore, the teams lacked a marketing focus. There was discussion about ways to compensate for that. The Image types volunteered to concentrate more on those areas and bring forth their power.
How the Enneagram Helps
Using the Enneagram system, the Enneagram trainer clarifies what is happening, relative to personalities, and puts the problems on an objective plane. There’s less blame, more accurate information, ways to utilize the best the types have to offer, and tips on personal development and communication skills related to each type. During the training, participants learn to understand each type’s motivations and then role play, practicing specific new communication strategies. They see immediate verification of the training’s benefits.
Once we learn to communicate in ways that are appropriate to people’s types, everyone is happier. Confidence grows and there’s more fun and less stress, once we know what’s really true (accurate), instead of wondering what’s true (inaccurate). Not every problem is type-related, but much positive change can come from understanding the type differences and relating directly to them.
The Dream Teams
An ideal team works together fairly easily. Maybe there is some conflict, but it’s generally not destructive. There’s fun and appreciation for team members’ differences. People aren’t pushing each other to be other than who they are. There is little or no type prejudice but instead an intuitive understanding of differences. Here, the Enneagram enhances what is already working.
There might be a few power issues but no major power struggles. On average, the members are open and honest and are aware of different members, who have their own version of power and control. While this is the ideal, it unfortunately doesn’t describe most work situations. Because work settings and relationships are reflections of families and the culture at large, all the problems, conflicts, and issues associated with them play out within the organizational context.
Sales Staffs and Teams
In business and sales, many teams and team managers are 2s, 3s, and 7s, though all the types are represented. 8s are frequently supervisors or bosses. Salespeople are competitive and, in the best teams, are also jovial and encouraging of each other. Most systems assign territory or have other structures in place to diminish jealousies and power struggles. More so than human-services personnel, salespeople are expected to be self-oriented. An Enneagram trainer worked with several real estate companies to coach Realtors on selling to different types and also discovering the effects their own types might have on sales.
Lifelines
Good strategies for sales personnel involve practice or role play, influencing potential clients, or closing sales to each type.
People in sales can benefit from coaching on how to sell to different personality types. 5s tend to give product information over personal connection, while 2s create a personal connection first. A 5 or 6 customer certainly wants information as part of the presentation, whereas a 2 customer wants personal connection, and 7s want a fast and entertaining approach. 3s might want to be sold on the image the product or service will provide, and 8s want to get to the point. A 9 wants a connection, but not an approach that’s high pressure.
How You Can Create Your Best Team at Work
Strengths are naturally enhanced when no obstacles block them. You create the best team when you utilize the strengths of all team members. Enneagram awareness speeds up the process by which each team member can push beyond type limits and develop positive traits outside the type.
An understanding of conflict resolution skills, knowing when certain types take precedence over others, and seeing how that limits creativity and production are essential skills for managers.
Teams work together when their type mix works together. Whether all nine types or just a cluster of a few types are present doesn’t matter as much as how well people can utilize their skills in their individual work and communicate and intermesh with others’ skill sets. The Enneagram is a useful predictor of what to expect from someone. People can obsess and misinterpret others’ behaviors and motivations, and that also wastes time and energy, therefore affecting output. Seeing what’s objectively true cuts obsession time.
It helps to allow or support everyone to be his or her most natural self. Not everyone has a cheerful demeanor or is animated or extroverted. 1s tend to be precise and can be critical and teacherly; 2s cheerful and helpful; 3s goal-driven and time-bound; 4s emotional, personal, and different; 5s often quiet, introverted, and intelligent; 6s planning and analytical; 7s upbeat, humorous, and quick; 8s direct, in charge, and action oriented; and 9s laid back, gentle, and agreeable. The Enneagram describes the type, but people develop beyond these descriptions. It’s important not to stereotype but rather to accept and appreciate people’s tendencies.
Egalitarian power structures do exist in business, but they’re infrequent and, even when attempted, certain individuals tend to take charge, anyway. Teams often work better when the team leader is not so dominant or judging and when the leader’s type doesn’t become the prototype of how others should be. Though on a practical level, it’s a good idea to understand the boss type, the type more in charge, and relate to his/ her world. Time to explore the boss world!
Type 1 Boss and Management
Type 1s are leaders with strong convictions and can speak up, particularly if something needs fixing. You like to model good behavior, though at the low end, you can be a critical boss with the one-right-way approach. If that’s the way you manage, your employees will typically try to avoid you!
How to Deal with Your Boss
Honesty is the best policy in relating to a Type 1 boss. Realize you might be criticized for wrong or inefficient actions or what you neglected to do. You may feel you’re being watched by the eagle eye. 1s are evaluative. Expect some critical feedback as normal. We all need feedback, and you can evaluate its usefulness. Appreciate the 1’s comments, even if the delivery is unpalatable. 1 bosses typically don’t comment on what is good or what’s working. You could risk saying you need positive comments that motivate and reinforce good behavior. You could also risk saying that while you appreciate feedback, you have a different approach that you think will accomplish the same goal—that getting a particular job done is more important than how you accomplish the task.
Warning!
It’s painful to watch a Type 1 manager yell at her employees in public on how to do procedures right. They were having a good time beforehand, probably providing better service for the fast-food clients, before the barrage. If you could see yourself in a mirror doing your worst type stuff, you’d think twice!
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
As a 1, realizing there are many ways to accomplish the goal enhances leadership development. Practically speaking, you will anger many people by being too demanding of a right way. Many 1s require training in anger management in order to realize their anger is spewing out in critical, scolding, or snide remarks or a preaching tone. Be aware of this. Accept your anger without putting a negative judgment on it. Give yourself and others more allowance for learning or forgetful mistakes. Focus on people acceptance as much as task completion and you might get both. Allow for differences.
Type 2 Boss and Management
2s manage by persuasion. You want to influence others in ways that don’t appear controlling. Look at what might be controlling, even if your delivery doesn’t seem that way to you. You can be positive, yet still be demanding. Your personal touch often works well. Sometimes you may need to focus on task completion, as much as on the personal connection.
How to Deal with Your Boss
2s want to be seen well, so don’t embarrass your Type 2 boss. Appearance is important, so think about how you present yourself. The task certainly is important, but so is the personal connection. If your 2 is sharing a personal story, listen with interest. Maybe you could offer a helpful comment. 2s love it when you go the extra step to support them or another team member in ways that make the boss or group look good and positively affect the bottom line. Be upbeat and noncomplaining. Look at a positive direction and a way of heading there through action. Gratitude and praise are welcome.
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
As a 2, your leadership development is enhanced by being as task oriented as you are people oriented. Be careful of over-involvement with employee’s problems, though it’s great that you care and often that enhances production. Don’t demand that people be overly positive, as their efforts to please you may detract from their natural talents. Don’t expect praise. Don’t punish or withdraw from those you feel don’t appreciate you. It’s your job to get the job done and not overly enter into personal dynamics. By all means, keep your positive focus and encourage employees to engage personally with each other. Have parties and acknowledge birthdays, performance, anniversaries, and the like as a way of connecting people.
Type 3 Boss and Management
3s are naturals at management. You like to achieve, win, and be on top. You don’t mind going the extra mile to get the job done and, as you see it, the faster the better. You appreciate competitive employees who excel, if they don’t compete with you to your detriment. At the same time, you create a cooperative environment that may make productivity happen even more. Be careful not to take too much credit, if it’s undeserved. You might get anger directed toward you, as a result. Put recognition where praise or reward is due.
Lifelines
3s who praise others or share the praise with the team get more praise in the long run.
How to Deal with Your Boss
If you’re working for a Type 3, be efficient. 3s typically don’t care so much how you get there, as long as you do. Of course, everyone has ideas on what’s faster or more efficient, and your 3 boss will share his or her ideas, if you ask. On average, 3s care less than 1s about having a job be perfect, so err on the side of speed over excessive detail. Slowing down is the wrong direction. 3s also are upbeat and don’t want a down energy, as they tend to see that as impeding the goal. 3s can be critical and angry if you are slow, talk too much, and aren’t committed to completion. 3s often expect overtime (completion and winning being an important focus), so you might have to negotiate on that issue if that isn’t something you’re willing to do.
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
As a 3, you need to see that others don’t always have a bottom line of winning. Many people feel a 40-hour workweek is plenty and don’t want their lives dominated by work. Don’t load your work beliefs on others who are balancing work, relationships, family, and personal goals. Prioritize people as much as tasks, and you’ll accomplish what you need. If you overwork, your stress level might be too high to get the job done as efficiently as you like. Support what can get you what you want with less stress—such as breaks, variety, feedback, and having balance in your life.
Type 4 Boss and Management
Type 4 bosses will support aligning work and personal goals. 4s are individualists and don’t expect others to conform to a unified way of doing things. 4 bosses are open to the personal level that includes feeling, creativity, new or unique approaches, and fitting work with life purpose. Of course, an undeveloped 4 boss could be overreactive and lost in personal feelings, making it hard to be objective. Often, in the world of work, a 4/3 will lead with her 3 wing and seem like a 3.
How to Deal with Your Boss
It’s okay, on average, to be personal with a Type 4. 4s can be empathic with your personal needs and desires and want to please you, if you are personally developing yourself as well as accomplishing a task. You can show your emotions more than with other types, but don’t be competitive with your boss. Type 4 bosses are open to new ideas and some risk-taking and like new spins or twists. 4s can be moody, so don’t expect a consistent demeanor. Listen to what’s going on for them. Don’t take it personally, if they change quickly. They can embellish for effect, so don’t be surprised if facts become analogies, rather than exact details.
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
As a 4, attempt to stay objective and goal-oriented and not let your feelings or desire for aesthetics overshadow goals and how others see you. You can’t lose it at work. Avoid personal reactions and others perceiving you as unstable when you’re upset. You can be a leader to support others in their personal process and even in using their unique growth process and goals to coincide with work goals. As a leader, learn to balance your individual pursuits with containment of personal expression.
Type 5 Boss and Management
As a Type 5 boss, you tend to keep on an objective and analytical level. Let’s get the facts and understanding first and action will follow. As a boss, you often must act before all the facts are in. You need to engage with your employees or audience. Information alone is not enough to lead your group. Other people need strength, inspiration, encouragement, and personal engagement, even small talk. There are many ways to get people aligned with group outcomes and purpose.
How to Deal with Your Boss
5s like to know that you understand what’s important and can critically analyze a situation. Knowledge and rational thinking engage a 5 immediately. 5s can be private, so don’t overly push for personal information. 5s sometimes post their hours to talk, so don’t assume a Type 5 boss will be chatty or want to engage at any time or during lunch. Know the boundaries and protocol. Ask for time to engage and how much time is available. 5s generally like some preparation and planning, so do your homework first. 5’s don’t always respond off the cuff. 5s will reflect before making commitments and generally wait to respond until you end your sentence—so end it, and don’t repeat yourself!
Insights
If you ask me a question, I listen to it and often need to get back to you after I think about it. I don’t like to give quick responses to important questions.
—John, 37, a Type 5
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
5s develop by seeing that leadership extends beyond knowledge to personal engagement, emotional awareness, and risk-taking. Delegating power to others, with different styles of leadership, helps with that integration. Hiring people as coaches for self-development certainly can be valuable for all types, and especially beneficial for 5s, who can isolate and lead from an ivory tower. 5s do well to get feedback from constituents in their information gathering. 5s are wise when they can lead from a detached, intuitive, and compassionate level. Give people information to process, as you research issues. Don’t just give them your conclusions.
Type 6 Boss and Management
6s tend to lead through building alliances and support. At the same time, 6s can be afraid of negative outcomes and can overplan and overprepare, isolate too much, and not build those alliances. Balance among research, planning, and action. 6 bosses want to make sure what they are doing is right and need feedback from those who can be objective, courageous, and clear about the deeper purpose. Type 6 bosses question, but it’s important not to overly test as a way to check loyalty. Be directly honest.
How to Deal with Your Boss
6s want any concerns allayed, so do your research and present your case on what is safe, what is problematic, and how to manage the discrepancy. An overly positive focus won’t work, if it isn’t backed up with forethought and practical solutions. Vision alone isn’t enough, though you can help your boss with having a positive vision and remembering what is already good. A 6 boss wants as much information and insight as possible, so don’t hold back. Be as rational as you can and present data, though share your hunches, too.
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
6s develop when you can keep a positive vision, and, at the same time, have clear guidelines for dealing with real or potential problems. It’s important to have faith in your ability to handle situations and not create major problems from minor issues. Focus on what’s at hand, instead of possible or imaginary problems. If 6s can use humor and be less crisis-oriented, more relaxed and self-secure, problems remain problems and not disasters. 6s can utilize the strengths of others, who trust in the good and aren’t anxious about what might occur. Lead with a focus on what’s constructive and create the reality you want from the inside out, with hopeful vision, as well as with outside action steps. Check out all information to relieve anxious concerns that may be untrue.
Type 7 Boss and Management
7s lead with a positive vision and trust in a can-do spirit. 7s might not acknowledge all the important details in depth or deal with immediate painful problems head-on. 7s expect others to remain positive and can be critical of those who don’t. The right attitude cures all, from the 7 view. 7s create an affirmative environment of excitement and possibility and are optimistic and energetic in maintaining it. Commitment can wane if others don’t stay optimistic or problems seem too difficult. Follow through can be a challenge.
How to Deal with Your Boss
Type 7 bosses love positive, upbeat people so be that, yet offer all the practical information that a 7 needs. Talk about the problems, yet be encouraging. Anything can be fixed! Be oriented to the present and move toward the future, not the past. 7s love brainstorming options. Talk about the positives in your let’s get it done attitude. Mention ways the situation is getting better and what a good outcome looks like. Type 7 bosses want to feel free with options, so don’t use the language of crisis, unless you’re actually in one!
Lifelines
7s can’t stand slowness and hesitation, so make your point quickly and succinctly. Move it or lose it!
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
For 7s to develop, leadership style needs to be a balance of the positive with an awareness of dealing directly with the negative. Sometimes 7s transfer ideas onto future solutions, rather than handling a current issue. Deal directly with others’ concerns, before affirmations are mentioned. Stay connected to your ability to hold a positive vision, but be open to the inclusion of other ideas and attitudes. Don’t see others as obstacles. It’s your job to include their vision and put a positive spin on it for them.
Type 8 Boss and Management
A Type 8 boss is The Boss. This is a strong match, as 8s feel comfortable being the boss and uncomfortable not. 8s take charge, and that’s the issue: you can be too much in charge and not inclusive enough of other’s opinions. Learn to hear those opinions, even if you disagree. Inclusion creates more buy-in and less resistance. Your way or the highway attitude causes others to take secondary roads to avoid you and that delays the mission. Some detouring is okay. You can’t force a unified approach. Allow some unresolved conflict and trust it will be resolved later.
How to Deal with Your Boss
Be direct. State your opinion and back it up with evidence. 8s will often consider what you say, if it makes sense. 8s like strong character with backbone. Disagreements are fine, if you aren’t challenging an 8 on power itself. Then it’s like two bucks vying for territory. There are plenty of female 8s who do the same. Don’t talk behind an 8’s back, or you’ll be perceived as either a wimp or an enemy. Ask questions of the 8, if you need clarification, but get to the point. 8s are impatient if you are unsure.
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
8s need to back down when you’re wrong and admit mistakes. You’ll still be seen as strong, even more so, if you can be human, too. Humans make mistakes! You are not the only authority, and people aren’t betraying you if they have a different opinion or create an alliance with someone else. People have a right to their individuality—what you so preciously protect in yourself. Fight a bully, but not those who are just expressing who they are. Don’t threaten people, as that will create the very enemies you are trying to avoid.
Type 9 Boss and Management
9s don’t like to boss. It’s against your nature to be in charge or be focused on power and control. But that’s exactly why you often can be a great boss! You aren’t in it for the ego or power. You are in it to include others, create harmony, and please your employees and customers. You can see all sides and you validate and include others. Step up to the plate, as you are often the best boss possible, but only if you can be commanding, state your beliefs, hold your opinions, and not let anyone run roughshod over you or others. You can redirect the egomaniacs and not let them be in charge.
How to Deal with Your Boss
Type 9 bosses want harmony, so don’t go in with your guns blazing. A peaceful approach that is inclusive is best. If you are in it for your own ego and gratification, it won’t work. A weak 9 boss may be influenced and give in just to stop feelings of conflict or to please; in the long run, however, you will lose. 9s always think of the whole. Support your 9 boss to be strong and more self-centered. Listen to his or her struggles. 9s can be indecisive, so maybe brainstorm with them or listen to their process, in order to support clear decisions.
How to Develop Your Own Leadership Style
9s need to be assertive. You have so many good qualities already, but you need to trust yourself more and state your ideas with assertion, passion, and conviction. Back up what you say, and go into action from your intuition. Listen to others, but trust yourself with a clear conscience, as your purpose is to include all. You have good solutions. Don’t doubt. You can edit your decisions, but typically what you say and do from your heart is the truth. Commit to truth, rather than to pleasing. You already are compassionate, so you don’t have to worry so much about displeasing or conflict. That will occur on occasion, and it’s normal.
Of course, use any of these leadership development tips, no matter what your type. We are or have the potential to be all nine types and the ultimate purpose is to have a richer, more meaningful life. Don’t limit yourself to your one type!
The Least You Need to Know
• All perspectives need to be included and validated on any team.
• Each type has unique leadership skills and challenges.
• Bosses vary, so it’s important to vary your approach accordingly.
• It’s best to know all the typical type strengths and weaknesses and be prepared in advance.
..................Content has been hidden....................
You can't read the all page of ebook, please click here login for view all page.