In This Chapter

Questioner/Guardians scan for danger. You can’t always trust what is apparently so; you’d better check for deeper motivations and determine what is real. Once tested, 6s tend to be loyal to the max and expect the same from others.

All of us are fearful and vigilant, at times, in the face of real or imagined dangers, but 6s live in that state as a preset condition. As a 6, you are wired to prepare for worst-case possibilities. Security comes when you have planned enough and feel ready. But can you tell the difference between real dangers and concerns generated in the mind? If this describes how you think, welcome to your type. You’re a 6!

6s have a million questions to ask. You notice the positive, but your mind generates limitless negative possibilities, so your attention is focused on problems and problem-solving. Issues of trust, doubting, and fear abound, so you are always on guard, scanning the environment for dangers.

Let’s get real—6s need to prepare! Forget about fantasy and romance and imagination for a moment. There’s no time to live in an imagined world. You never know what’s around the corner, so it’s important to plan for contingencies—constantly. Crisis mode becomes your modus operandi. The problem is you don’t see that living in a hyper-aroused state of adrenaline, in case an enemy shows, is just as unrealistic as being totally unprepared. Just in case, however, should the enemy appear, you are ready!

You test for danger and may never trust completely. Why should you? You can go back and forth, for and against, for and against. Amidst nature’s uncertainties—global warming, earthquakes, snowstorms, outages, avalanches, hurricanes, tornadoes, forest fires, floods, disease—there is no end to danger. And people cause just as much distress: betrayal, death, lies … can anything or anyone be trusted?

You look for certainty in an uncertain world and hope another person or situation can create the solid ground you seek. Once you have found that person, group, or cause, your loyalty knows no bounds. 6 is a Head type. You overmanage in the mind to protect yourselves and those you care about. You forget to use your bodies to feel secure.

6s are the only type that divided into two categories:

Actually most 6s are a bit of both, but some can be quite one or the other. Think of trial lawyers and stunt men and women as possible counterphobics and lab technicians and insurance analysts as probable phobics.

6s are the guardians and protectors. You are there to offer advice and to help in any storm. And you know your storms! The Weather Channel is one of your favorite TV channels. You also are ready with safety gear and are well-versed in the latest rescue techniques. You know building codes, you have spare safety equipment in your cars and homes, and your security alarms are ready to catch any intruder. You’ve practiced fire-exit drills and have your second floor window ladder ready. It’s quite likely that 6s founded the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. You also probably thought up the 911 emergency response system. You wear your bike helmet and always use hand sanitizer. Not all 6s are this prepared, but you want to be!

As a 6, you thrive in crisis situations. Problems? No problem! You have solutions, options, and strategic plans to target, change, or solve what is ailing. You know the competition and what they are up to. Generally you are a team player, and you like cooperation and mutual support; yet you can compete to win. You sacrifice for the sake of your loyal group, whether family, friends, work, nation, or group members. 6s love OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

You support the underdog and rally under stress. You are motivated by challenges and do anything to support equality and fairness, to help a worthy person win, and to do what is right. You don’t have to be the star.

You are a thorough researcher. You’ll only make purchases after reading Consumer Reports, checking the Better Business Bureau, and talking to friends. The research may take a while but ultimately you’ll make a good decision. You aren’t fooled by appearances. You go for what is solid underneath. Where’s the foundation? Even foundations can fail—check for radon (a colorless, odorless, radioactive, gas element found in rock and soil that can be highly damaging to lung tissue) and mold in the basement, where these substances can concentrate. Better to be safe than sorry.

In a nutshell, positive traits of 6 include …

6s’ spirituality relates to trusting group consciousness and believing what is tried and true. 6s attend meetings of self-help groups, perform ancestral ceremonies, and join political organizations. You believe in God as a protector and believe we must bond together in groups and communities to survive and grow. You appreciate the sacrifices others have made for your well-being.

You see the bad and need to believe in the good, so you look to have trust in others and hope for a higher power. You need to have faith there is something more reliable than your fears, dangers, and concerns—faith in life itself, authorities that really care, people motivated to do good. Your hope is that other people are also motivated by higher traits and qualities.

6s are both loyal congregational members, as well as questioners for the truth. Is the minister trustworthy? What are the real motivations of committee members? Are we promoting the right things? Are people really committed and really honest about what they are thinking? You’re willing to work through the challenges to build more trust and bonding. You are the sentinels for security for yourself and others.

You search out the dark side and want to know the dirt. The dirtier the better, if it’s true! 6s are activated positively by looking for the dark side. You want to know the truth and you trust those who know their own dark side and who are honest about their own greed or power dynamics. You look for the hidden problems and like to call a spade a spade.

Looking to uncover others, you sometimes don’t see the worst in yourself. Best to uncover yourself, as much as exposing the emperor’s clothes. In grilling others for truth, include yourself or you’ll spend your time blaming, attacking, and preaching against other evils and dangers as a projection. It’s not that you make yourself out to be good. It’s more that you don’t expose what’s off in you, so as not to be attacked by the mob!

Investigative reporter, investigate yourself! You are so focused on what others are hiding that you might not explore yourself. Hold yourself to the same flashlight with which you look at others. Know your own fears, insecurities, and doubts and expose them on occasion so others might empathize, reassure, or assist you. If you’re blind to your own indirectness and dark side, others won’t trust you.

You often are worried, anxious, and nervous. This is contagious! Fairly soon, it’s Worry City. Don’t imagine your fears as always true. Be careful not to blame others for your self-generated fears. Sure, maybe there’s some truth in your fears or projections, but it’s your job to calm yourself down either way and see what’s true.

Skepticism can be healthy, but if the evidence goes against your fears or preconceived notions, be open to it. Challenging just for the sake of challenging is tiresome after a while. Not everyone likes debate or opposition. Live less in the world of what ifs!

Worst traits of the type include these foibles:

Your Stress type is 3, the Achiever/Winner. You rev up for action and completion but don’t feel centered. Make sure you need to accomplish something first and don’t run around doing actions that have no base. Sometimes just enjoy, be quiet, rest. Best to spend some time alone to self-connect and figure out what to do, and then act with less anxiety. Get some feedback, if necessary, but don’t let others decide for you. Go to the high side of 3, clarify goals, do the action steps and picture the positive happening. Sometimes your fear tells you that success will expose you to envy and competition from others. Just as likely, you’ll enjoy it and others will support you.

You tie with 9s for being the most reluctant decision makers. Ambivalence abounds or certainty-doubt, and more certainty-doubt. Decisions can be risky but so is not making any. Do your research, and then take your chances. Make some test decisions that have lesser consequences. You’ll learn, either way.

Just don’t sell your belongings, marry a stranger, and move to a new city. It’s unlikely, but sometimes you get fed up with the procrastination and make decisions too hastily. It’s normal to have some doubt—no need to freak! Think of best-case scenarios, too. Your indecisiveness reflects worst-case scenario thinking, and your real life, thank God, isn’t as bad as your mind may think it is.

Of all the types, 6s like to be typed the least, a real cue to typing a 6. Fear is a core feature. You might be perceived as negative with danger and worst-case thinking as traits.

6s ask lots of questions and may appear anxious and fretful. If danger is approaching, look for the person with the road flares, first aid/snakebite kit, and other sorts of safety equipment at the ready—he or she is likely a 6.

6s tend to challenge assumptions, can interrupt with questions, have a nervous energy, look for definition from others, and have issues with authority. 6s can be black and white and judgmental, like 1s. Judgments are not grounded as much in morality like 1s, but are concerns for the safest outcomes. When secure, 6s can be great listeners. When not, you challenge everything others say. You can have strong opinions, mostly to ensure security. Other nonverbal cues include …

6s are always trying to define things, achieve certainty, or at least clarify what is uncertain. 6s talk in a questioning, doubting tone, wanting others to be more definite, even if you are not. 6s can corner someone to question what is true or real.

Developed 6s are wonderful. You question, but not too much. You realize life is complex and accept the gray tones. You need no more definition from others than from yourself. You are protective, empathic, caring, and allow people their individuality.

You work hard for the causes you believe in and need no special attention. You fight for the underdog and justice and you understand psychological dynamics. You are not easily fooled.

Most 6s worry, focus too much on fear, and miss out paying equal attention to what is good. Relationships are important, and you expect too much from people who have their own problems. You look for security outside yourself and need to focus more on providing it for yourself. You want others to be committed to you or as committed as you. Make sure you are committed yourself, providing what people really need, not what you think they need. Make sure you can let in the good that builds feelings of security. Trust yourself on how to be in the moment.

Undeveloped 6s can be paranoid, living in worst case as a norm, and don’t trust the good. Everyone is suspect and the weather can turn at any moment. Everything is an emergency and the adrenaline is affecting your health. Practice thinking positive thoughts and using your knowledge to develop trust.

6 children notice the difference between what adults say and what they do—causing a major mistrust with adults and parents who don’t follow through or live up to what is said. They’re always trying to figure out what is real and are hyper-alert for problems, dangers, and what to trust or not. Some non-6 kids might go through a hurricane, for instance, and not be traumatized. They might even find it exciting. 6s remember the experience and realize life is dangerous and can turn at any moment, so they may overprepare for problems and dangers, knowing that one danger may breed another. If your childhood overalerted you, best to realize that current reality might be safer.

6 children need reassurance, advance preparation, and as much explanation as possible. Talk to their level and realize children have their real concerns and need to understand what is happening. It’s best to repeat and overexplain than underexplain. The more information you can give them, the more security and less anxiety they have.

Parents of 6s need to nurture, rather than toughen up, though it’s okay to talk in real terms. Fantasy talk can cause even more fear. Encourage your 6 children to ask questions and be patient. The worst thing to do is to discourage or cut off questions. Your child will live in a state of more fear, creating endless bad-ending stories. Teach your child the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

As a 6 parent it’s important to not overprotect or share every fear you have with your kid. Children who aren’t 6s probably don’t share your fears. Let them stay that way. A little unawareness or best-case thinking can be helpful. Offer an umbrella, but don’t demand they take it on a cloudy day. Encourage the hats and mittens but realize you can’t be with them all the time. Remind them of negative consequences, if necessary, but don’t terrify them.

Ask some questions but not to the degree of causing irritation, withdrawal, or fighting if your children don’t see the danger. You are a caring, concerned parent. Teach some survival skills, to watch out for strangers and the usual concerns, and let go. Check in with your children on occasion to see what their concerns are independent of yours. Have fun, lighten up, look at the bright side, affirm what is good, and reinforce there are many forces that support the positive.

6s think about planning, what ifs, relationship difficulties, preparing for the future, and security. You think about the news and what could happen. You have fearful, angry thoughts about unfairness, injustice, liars, and thieves. You have a mind scanner for inconsistencies and deception, false images, and the bad guys. Other things 6s think about include …

What 6 adults wish they could say:

Relationships are essential for 6s. You are a trustworthy partner and friend, yet others don’t seem as accountable as you. Why did they do that? How can you say something and not do it, or at least not tell me? Why aren’t you totally honest with me? Don’t I deserve that? Questions like this abound, and you need to make sure you are being as honest, too. Are you revealing as much as you want others to reveal?

Ambivalence and doubt plague you. You like relationships, yet being too close brings up fear. It feels as if others have power over you, particularly if you like them. You are concerned if you share too much, or if they don’t share enough. It’s hard when people have different values and ideas from yours.

You are psychologically sophisticated. You tune into motivations, reasons for, and what is happening below the surface. You realize people and life situations are complex; yet you don’t want to be fooled. You are a sleuthhound: you look for clues and feel more secure when you figure things out. Sometimes you make things too simple, though, in your need for security and exact explanations. Your detective qualities are both a boon and a bust and some people feel intruded on, examined, and overexplored. Please, no more questions!

Are your questions related to general concerns or are you testing? Others are cautious of your questions, which touch on challenge, rather than caring or curiosity. Are your questions direct or do they cause more confusion? Is it okay that people are different and self-centered? Because you are more other-focused, maybe you need to take care of yourself more and be less concerned about others’ motivations. Your direct honesty can be a model for others, rather than expecting others to lead first.

You are a great model for sacrifice in a relationship. You understand crises and challenges and can stay resolved and committed during difficult times. Having a problem to fix is a catalyst for action and connection. It’s also as important to be steady and relaxed during times of ease and solidity. Don’t fill your mind with potential problems. Enjoy life and have some comfort for now.

You are family-oriented and your definition of family is extensive, embracing friends and groups. You value bonding and contribute greatly. Realize, though, that things change and you need to manage and adapt to change. You want solidity and consistency but the only true solidity is within yourself. Don’t push others for definition, when they have their own confusion. Balance yourself with play, adventure, tolerance for others’ independent process, and more acceptance of change.

You want consistency or at least the truth in others but don’t always provide it yourself, as you can be private. In general you are solid as a rock, but your inner questioning can cause you to go back and forth on important decisions related to relationships, work choices, and money issues. You need to communicate more of your truth, which includes your ambivalence, confusion, and difficulty with choice and imagined loss.

People can never be as consistent, reliable, and as solid as you like. One of your lessons is to put more trust in yourself and less in demanding that others make you feel secure. Everyone has differing needs and no one can devote his or her life to you to make you feel secure. That’s your job. Let go of the ideal of a perfect protector and your life will be more flexible and realistic. Don’t provide something to others (loyalty, devotion) thinking they will give you the same in return. People give what they know to give and not what you expect. If there’s a contract, make it clear.

Focus more on providing for yourself—self-esteem, safety, security, loyalty, compassion, understanding, etc. Be your own authority figure and let go of some of the needs for approval from others. Trust yourself as your foundation, rather than obsessing about whether to trust another or not.

Because a good chunk of your fear is mind-created, it’s important to discipline yourself. Consciously think of positive things that happen, say affirmations, and notice worst-case thinking and stop it. Redirect your attention to activities or interests. Your mind is your main culprit. Don’t let it dominate you!

The Growth type for 6 is 9, the Peacemaker/Accommodator. 9s know how to relax, tend to be positive, and imagine people and life being nice, rather than dangerous. All these qualities are balance points for 6. As a 6 you stress yourself out with worry and fear and need stress management. Any relaxation helps and also trusting in things you can count on. 9s rest, take breaks, and enjoy the simple things in life, exactly what the doctor ordered for 6s who generally need to slow down.

6s see the bad side of life a bit too much, while 9s avoid the bad and are gullible, not wanting to see evil and corruption. Find the balance in between where you see the good and the bad, and hold both in mind at the same time. 6s need to create security based less on the environment and more from their own resources and those they trust, as well as the basic goodness of life, the 9 perspective. Search out the good people and forgive them their faults.

6s’ creativity reflects the ability to see the dark side of life and still have the courage to operate. More than any other type, 6s know that anything can go haywire, and that bad things really do happen. You have an amazing ability to plan for contingencies and can hold all the information together. You access everyone’s weaknesses and strengths and accept their humanness, if people are honest.

6s come up with creative solutions to problems and provide many options. You pick up on psychological subtleties and complexities in others and in life situations, particularly when you develop yourself. You ask creative and thought-provoking questions, bringing the unconscious to a conscious level. 6s’ keen insights and observations contribute to problem-solving. If there’s a noise in the basement, a 6 will figure it out, and get excited by the search for the answer! 6s have played instrumental roles in all the protection systems we have—dykes, weather alerts, storm surge walls, pumping stations, scanning devices, and disease control. 6s’ attention to detail can help artistically with jewelry making, drawing, painting, crafts, sculpture, or any of the other creative arts.

6s are great at anything that requires attention to detail and solving problems. 6s do well in detective work, pathology, auto claims, accident investigations, and research. You want safety, but are often drawn to danger. Insurance industry employees, military personnel, CIA agents, FBI agents, firefighters, paramedics, police, stunt men and women, emergency personnel, and meteorologists have a higher than average chance of being 6s. Great psychotherapists, 6s analyze below the surface and tie in the past with the present. 6s are often social-service workers, protecting the rights of the innocent.

You are drawn to prediction, planning, safety standards, science, and administration. You like rules and standards and rebel against them if they are unfair. You want security and react, often strongly, if things aren’t secure. You want a clear sense of expectations and guidelines that others provide, but you’ll attack them if they are unfairly used.

Many 6s tend to shy away from leadership, but will assume the role if it is for the good of the group. Usually, if others initiate, you’ll respond by either going with or against, instead of striving to be number one. Others often choose you to lead because of your knowledge, your commitment to the organization or group cause, and your protective nature. You’re concerned that others will dump on you as the authority figure, so you’ll take on the task with some anxiety, wanting alliances and backup. You see leadership as a team effort.

You are an anxious leader, scanning for dangers, problems, and what could go wrong. You might spend too much time solving problems rather than forwarding positive agendas. With security the issue, sometimes more than development or inclusion, allies and enemies are the focus. You need research and evidence to make decisions. This might create solidity but also irritates staff, who want to move faster. Explain yourself to others. Secrecy will incite other 6s to challenge you! You can be good at allowing trusted others co-leadership positions. Create best-case scenarios to encourage others.

6s have a great variety within the type. The phobic and counterphobic 6 type differences could almost be split into two types. The 6 with the 5 wing is quite serious and intellectual. The 6 with the 7 wing is lighter and chummier. The Sexual subtype challenges a mate, the Social subtype creates alliances, and the Self-Preservation subtype will do anything for security, taking fewer risks.

There are two wings for 6: the 6 with a 5 wing (6/5) and the 6 with a 7 wing (6/7):

There are three Instinctual subtypes for the 6:

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