APPENDIX F

SAMPLE AGREEMENT

The following agreement is an example of one created by two parties engaged in a process like the one described in this book. I asked questions and facilitated the writing, but they developed the parameters and the language themselves; I merely wrote down their thoughts.

This agreement is specific to these parties, and addresses basic commitments and requests. Your parties will have their own considerations, and your HR department may have a document you can use as well.

Agreement between:

Date:

We, _________ and _________, as employees of _______________, are grateful to have engaged with each other in a professional development opportunity offered through our organization, and with the coaching assistance of________________. We have made certain agreements with each other that we would like to express in this document. In addition, we respectfully make requests for support to reinforce the process in future interactions.

We agree to:

• Put forth the effort, energy, and patience toward continuing a healthy work relationship by fully listening and communicating openly about any issue or conflict that arises.
• Express anger—and emotions in general—in a constructive and purposeful way.
• Be open to hearing each other's perspective when we disagree.
• Be respectful and keep an open mind about our own and other coworkers' perspectives.
• Meet monthly, off campus, for one year, for a relationship check-in.
• Meet conflict head-on by holding conversations privately, first putting forth our positive intention, forgiving easily, and assuming positive intent on the part of the other.
• Remember that there are often external factors at play.
• Be grateful for the opportunity any conflict presents to problem solve and strengthen the relationship.

We request of each other:

• Patience, openness, and commitment.
• Specifically:
  • ________ requests that ________ be patient and open to hearing a different perspective.
  • ________ asks that ________ communicate about conflicts or issues as they arise.

In order to move forward, we respectfully request of our organization that:

• We have a team get-together once a month, contingent upon interest and willingness from coworkers.
• We have a ninety-day follow-up session with ________________.
• We receive immediate and specific feedback from senior management as appropriate regarding behavior and work style.
• This agreement remains confidential to the parties involved.

Addressing Setbacks

In the course of our work, if the relationship should once again become adversarial or in danger of reverting to old behaviors, we will:

• Stop immediately and set a time to talk privately.
• Acknowledge our individual contributions to the situation and apologize where appropriate.
• Revisit this agreement, find the areas we've neglected, and apply the conflict skills we've acquired through this program.
• Ask senior management for feedback and support.
• We understand that frustrations and conflict may and probably will happen in the natural course of working together. We promise each other to do our best not to let those frustrations undermine our positive intentions as enumerated in this agreement.