ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I begin by acknowledging my first and most significant mentor in the joyful work of bringing aikido to a wide audience—Thomas Crum, and his Aiki Approach. Tom lives his words in all that he does. His pivotal book The Magic of Conflict and the many that followed are among the earliest guides for those, like me, who sought to live aikido principles off the mat. He travels a path with heart, giving freely of himself and his work. A deep bow to you, dear friend and sensei. Words can't fully acknowledge the gift of your ki in the world.

Sheila Heen's writing, training, and insight hold a similar place in my heart. Many of the concepts in this book I first encountered reading Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most, written by Sheila and her partners, Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton. Since it was first published in 1999, Difficult Conversations has inspired a host of similar texts on much-needed practices for communicating consciously and intentionally. She has led the way for many like me, and generously shares her wisdom.

For introducing me to the world of Process Work, thank you Joy Jacobs—teacher and partner in processing the hidden gifts in daily conflict and discovering the “god in the garbage.”

For your willingness to share your own best practices when conflict arises in organizations, thank you Connie Roy-Czyzowski, Mea Allen, Fran Liautaud, Mike Bell, James Warda, and Maureen Connolly. You do this every day.

Countless friends and family members contributed to the publication of this book in ways that range from brainstorming and proof-reading to listening, wondering, questioning, and answering calls for support. For all the breakfasts, cups of tea, phone calls, and long walks of encouragement and feedback, I thank Ellen Fineberg, Susan Losapio, Nina Ringer, Debbie Rodin, Cynthia Harriman, Carol Dudley, Janice George, Donna Melillo, Mark Stailey, Melisa Gillis, Jane Wexler, Beth Boynton, and the many readers and contributors to my blog, Ki Moments, who offered their energy in finding just the right title!

Thank you to my students and aikido partners at Portsmouth Aikido, Portland Aikido, Framingham Aikikai, and New England Aikikai, especially David Halprin, Aaron Cass, Albert Delaney, and the late Mitsunari Kanai Sensei. What I know of the physical practice of aikido comes from our long association and your love of the art. And to Wendy Palmer, Richard Strozzi-Heckler, and the late George Leonard, thank you for your writing and wisdom, and for spreading the way of aikido throughout the world.

Thank you Janice Molloy, Kara Steere, Sonja Hakala, Vicky Schubert, and B. Lynn Goodwin, editors and thought partners, for getting me started, giving me guidance, and conveying faith and confidence that this book would get out into the world; Barbara Ringer—amazingly talented sister-in-law, artist, photographer, and mom, for somehow always making me look my best; my right arm and trusted assistant Tracie Shroyer, for being there, and for being me when I can't be there myself; and Adam Richardson for his intuitive renderings of aikido in motion. His illustrations bring this book to life.

I'm equally indebted to Michael Pye, senior acquisitions editor at Red Wheel Weiser/Career Press, for your encouragement, support, patience, and incredible design team. You understood the book from the beginning and helped it become its best self. And many thanks to Gina Schenck, for her careful editing and thoughtful book design, and Eryn Carter Eaton and the Career Press publicity team for their constant support.

To coaching and workshop participants, thank you for teaching me day in and day out about the beauty of centered presence and for being allies in the magical transformation that happens when conflict is reframed as opportunity.

Lastly, and most importantly, thank you to my mother, Lorna, for her beautiful heart and unconditional love; to Mike, Debbie, Susan, and Paula for teaching me how to listen; and especially to my husband, Jim, whose continued love and support is key to my success in work and life. Thank you for your willingness to be honest even when it's not easy, for your intelligent editing, and your presence with every doubt, question, and needy request. For showing me how to let go, lower my guard, and learn to be free. And for helping me find my center when I most need it.