5
Be a Good Listener

One Father’s Day, the minister of my church gave a sermon praising her father for helping to lift her out of a dreary situation. A seminary had offered her a full scholarship. But she visited the campus and found it lifeless. On the other hand, her first choice for school was a prestigious school with a bustling campus where students engaged in spirited debates. To go there, she would have to pay for her education with student loans. Because she didn’t want to face a pile of debt after graduation, she felt she had no choice but to accept the offer from the less appealing school.

When she told her father about her Hobson’s choice, he presented another scenario. If she attended the prestigious school, she would mostly likely find a well-paying job after graduation. That would enable her to repay the loans. That insight buoyed her. She took out the loans, attended the school, and did, indeed, find a great job.

Her dad exemplified a good listener. He didn’t judge her. Instead, he just heard her out and then graciously suggested an option she hadn’t considered.

Good managers serve the same function. They don’t judge when an employee seeks advice on how to resolve a conflict. Instead, they help subordinates see the problem in a different light.

That open-minded approach will serve you particularly well in tense, one-on-one meetings with employees. When you listen, they will know you take them seriously. It’s hard for them to argue with that.