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Master the Art of Difficult Conversations

The moment has arrived. You have to tell an employee that her work is unacceptable. You feel discomfort building. You anticipate a torrent of recriminations. As in the past, she will say everyone is picking on her. It could get ugly. It won’t if you remain calm.

“Steady as she goes,” was the Star Trek captain’s command to the helmsman as he steered the Starship Enterprise through cosmic battles. An accuser will throw everything at you. But the person will run out of steam more quickly if you exhibit a steady hand.

Vernice Givens, the president and owner of V&G Marketing Associates in Kansas City, Missouri, fired an employee who wasn’t a team player. The woman reacted with threats of violence. Vernice remained calm. “The calmness made all the difference,” she said. “It left her pretty much arguing with herself.”

If the employee becomes insubordinate, end the conversation and tell her you will resume it at a later date when things calm down. Your objective is a win-win situation until an employee seems unredeemable for your company. Until that point, it’s “Steady as she goes.”