Chapter 13 
Adventure is not without risk
The last area of training was to become familiar with the boats we would use in Antarctica. The funny thing is there are only about three weeks of the year when the boats can be used. Even though summer is formally a three-month season it takes ages for the sea ice to disappear. The ice starts to melt early in the season, about mid December. But it's thick, and it's another eight or nine weeks before the bay is clear and we can use the boats. Very soon after that the cold returns and with it the sea ice. I was doubting the value of boating training but thought, what the heck. It could be useful, and I'm being paid to learn. If you listen to the stories of sailors they'll tell you the sea is a capricious mistress — you never turn your back on her. We nearly didn't make it.
Boat training and a near-death experience
Tuesday 12th October
Big day today. I'm feeling stiff and sore all over. We took the IRBs out into the ocean and practised our Man Overboard drills, flooding and restarting the outboards, flares, beaching, trailering and docking. My back muscles are aching from pounding over waves. This training has been harder for the women than the men I think. It's all so new. The men looked like they had grown up tying knots and backing trailers! They picked it up so quickly they were able to pitch in and help out, whereas Kirsten and I were still struggling with the basics. You then have to be content with not one but four instructors — which even though they were trying to help actually made me feel even more stupid!
Pizza and Plankton tonight at the local pizzeria.
Boat training is a hoot and it still spins me out that I'm paid to do all this. The variety and diversity of our training is unlike anything I've seen before.
I was nervous at first having to do all this stuff, but now I seem to be relaxing into it. I think I put myself under too much pressure to exceed expectations so that people think I'm a good leader. But I'm starting to realise I'm a good leader whether or not I am completely proficient with a forklift, IRB, crane or extinguisher or backing up a trailer.
Thursday 14th October
Today I think we almost died.
We were out at sea and were entering a sea cave when a big wave broke over the boat, soaking us all and filling the boat with water. Before we had time to react, the first wave had pushed us deep into the cave. We tried to back out but then the cave filled with another massive wave that pushed us up near the top of the cave. We were close to panic as the water level kept rising. One of the rubber hulls snagged on a ledge and the boat was totally swamped and wallowed about in the pitch-dark cave. We all ducked as water pushed us up to the cave roof. But just as quickly as the water level rose it subsided and we were sucked back out of the cave. Thankfully the outboard was still running, but the boat was very unstable due to the extra load of the water in the boat. We bailed out with our hands as fast as we could. Our instructor opened up the scuppers and revved the engine hard to drain the boat as fast as possible. Thankfully it drained and soon we were headed back to Hobart. In the driving rain and hail coming back across the bay we all felt miserable, wet and cold.
Boating rule #1: Never turn your back on the ocean.
I asked Tim our instructor, ‘That was a bit gnarly, hey?’ He sheepishly replied, ‘That's the closest I've ever come to dying. It was stupid of me and I'm furious with myself for taking you in there.’
I started to rationalise with him and tell him it was OK, we were all safe, no harm done. But nup. I was just too tired. Not interested. I've got 17 other people I need to take care of and, sorry buddy, I just won't add you to that list. You'll have to deal with this one yourself.
The expedition nears
By early November we had completed training and felt prepared for what lay ahead. There was still much to do. We had to find and pack personal supplies that would last 13 months. I knew how many t-shirts I would wear in a week, and I could multiply that by 4.25 for a month's worth. But how many would I need for a year? How quickly would they wear out? Were the washing machines nasty top-loaders that wreck clothes or were they gentle front-loaders. That could make a huge difference. How fast do pyjamas wear out? How many toothbrushes, hairclips and pairs of sunglasses would I need? How much deodorant do I really use? How much sauvignon blanc would I consume in a year?
Before I spent too much time on these questions I sat back on a Friday afternoon and wrote in my journal all the things we had been taught in our training. I couldn't believe we had achieved all of this in three short months.
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Climate change IRB boating (4 days) First aid (3 days) Fire training (5 days) Search and rescue Air operations Flight planning Water desalination operations Science project briefings Sea travel procedures Ice travel procedures Quad-bike driving Hagglunds ATV driving Forklift driving Pallet racking Hydroponics Home brewing Special Police Constable powers |
Deputy Coroner powers Antarctic Treaty Inspector Fire investigation Crane sling loading OH&S legislation Polar medicine Space and atmospheric science Antarctic history and heritage Environmental authorisations Antarctic biology Fuel spill procedures Alcohol awareness Blizzard procedures Survival techniques Ice climbing Crevasse awareness Scientific instruments Manual handling |
But more than anything else, I had learned about myself and the sort of person I must become.
Friday 5th November
I can't believe how intense this last three months has been. On one hand it's been highly technical and practical. But on the other we have been forced together in a way that has required us to understand each other and reconcile our differences. It's caused me to recognise that I have a lot to learn about leadership, particularly leading myself, managing my emotions and getting the most out of my team. It's going to be an incredible year. To make it through mentally and emotionally intact I must be stronger, smarter, braver and more in tune with myself and my people.
We were sent home to pack and say our goodbyes. I cancelled my lease and set about moving my belongings into long-term storage. There wasn't much! For a 35-year-old woman I had accumulated surprisingly little! Packing up was fun and easy, but it troubled me that I wouldn't have a place to come home to.
Saturday 13th November
Back in Melbourne. It's important that I spend some good time with Mum before I go. She will miss me the most of anyone — no matter what I say or do. But she'll be there when I get back …
It was great seeing her face when I stepped off the plane. And when I got back here she had put fresh flowers and a box of tissues in my old room! Is it any wonder I have the confidence to do the things I do when I am so loved? We went out for dinner to a little Malaysian joint in Syndal. It was great fun and we did laugh at the $50 ‘no expense spared’ send-off! I teased Loz that on my return we'd lash out and spend $60 on a meal for the three of us.
But it's good to be home, even though it signals the home straight. Not long now.
Sunday 14th November
BBQ dinner with the family and friends. I loved seeing Nicki again and meeting Max. It was sad saying goodbye to Aunty Pammy and Shauna. I didn't know Pammy was upset until Uncle Pete told me tonight. Sam had morning sickness. I'm going to miss the birth of my first niece/nephew … that makes me sad.
We all wore Davis Station gear for a family photo and had lots of laughs. It was great to have everyone together and the usual family jokes and discussions in the lounge room.
Last day in Melbourne and the day dragged on like I couldn't believe. Every minute felt like an hour. I'm itching to get back to Hobart. My emotions are very close to the surface. I'm crying or laughing constantly! It has been an amazing three months and I've learned stacks — especially about myself. I feel more confident than at any other time in my life. I can't believe I'm the same person as the little 17 year old who left home for Warrnambool all those years ago.
What I learned
- Leadership is a lifelong journey. No matter how accomplished your résumé looks there is always room to grow. There will always be something new to learn about yourself. There are always new techniques to try. There are always better ways to deal with issues, conflict or motivation. Keep striving, testing and refining yourself.