Chapter 18      

Ambiguity and leadership go hand in hand

One of the biggest challenges for an expedition leader is to set the right tone for our combined work and home environment. There are obvious, generally accepted standards for the workplace. We are firm about bullying, choice of language, viewing of unsuitable material and, in general, being politically sensitive. ‘Political correctness’ has had a bad name since the expression emerged in the 1990s, but I really believe it in it. I don't use it in conversation, though. I use the term ‘respect’, which is basically what political correctness boils down to. It is mostly self-evident how to show respect to your colleagues when you're at work, but at home you make your own rules.

What you did at home back in 2004 was largely your own business. You could shout at the cat, drink yourself silly, swear like a sailor and basically do whatever you want, and your boss wouldn't know or care. As long as you fronted up to work on time and got through your work, then what happened at home stayed at home. This demarcation has been eroded since the advent of social media, smartphones and the permanent connectedness we now ‘enjoy’.

Still, in 2004 work and home were very, very distinct. But when your workplace is your home, as at Davis, that distinction completely disappears. ‘Home’ is reduced to the small room you sleep in. This means that most of your normal home activities take place within the workplace.

Shades of grey … well, blue really

I had started to experience some of the unacceptable behaviour Richard had warned us about back in training. Behaviour that was unacceptable in the workplace was being played out at night (well, after 6 pm as there was still no night!), in the bar, in the theatre — in our workplace.

I made it clear to my expeditioners that they could do whatever they liked in their room, but outside of the room it was a Federal Government workplace and professional rules applied. But of course those normal rules didn't and couldn't always apply. We had a bar and we served alcohol at dinnertime — and that's not in the government handbook! It was a grey area, an issue that could not be solved by hard and fast rules, one that could only be managed through mutual respect.

Before leaving Hobart I had heard stories about a recent expedition where the women expeditioners were sent out camping on the plateau so the boys could have a ‘porn and prawn’ night. I was floored at the time. What decade were we living in? So I kept my eyes and ears open, or so I thought.

Respect was sorely missing on the night of Saturday, 18 December. The day had gone well, dinner was over and many expeditioners were looking forward to Blake's screening of the home movie of his trip through Thailand. After dinner I said good night and retired to my room to write my daily Station Log and rest and reflect on the day. Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the door.

‘Rach, you better come down to the theatre. There's a walk-out. It's messy.’

I hurried down to our small cinema. It was really just another square, flat room but at least it was completely blacked out so we could watch movies. The door was shut and on the door was a hand-written sign ‘This movie contains graphic content. Don't come in if you are offended easily. If you are offended easily, fuck off now!’ That was a bad sign! The door opened as I approached and two expeditioners hurried out, ashen and with a look of disgust on their faces. I stopped at the door and poked my head in. I couldn't believe it. Blake's home movie was a full-on account of his sex-trip to Thailand. Everything was on display, close-up and personal. I quickly shut the door, horrified.

Many thoughts ran through my mind. This could easily become a station-wide issue. How many of my expeditioners had been exposed to this? It wasn't just distasteful, it was illegal. It is illegal to screen pornographic movies in a workplace. I thought about how the AAD would respond once they heard. I thought about the reams of paperwork I would face dealing with the complaints. But most of all I thought about my people. Those still inside obviously had an appetite for this at some level, or perhaps they just felt too intimidated to walk out, but there would be many now locked in their rooms trying to purge those images from their minds.

I asked my colleague, ‘How long to go?’

He poked his head in just as the film was ending. ‘It's over.’

I sighed. At least I wouldn't have to go barging in and pull the plug on the projector. Instead I went looking for casualties.

In the bar two guys were playing darts. They waved and went back to their game. Okay, I thought, they're all right. I went into the mess. Empty. The entire place was deserted. I thanked my colleague and quickly went back to my room and drafted an email to Hobart. I had to get on the front foot ‘up’ the food chain. They needed to hear it from me first before it filtered up from one of the other stations, all mixed up and misinformed. I spelt out the exact scenario and the expected impact on the station, and recommended Blake be given a formal warning.

I tried to sleep but couldn't. I would need to address this head-on in the morning. The cinema held 40 people and there were only about 50 on station that night. I needed to know who had been exposed to the movie so I went looking for Blake. The theatre was empty and I tracked him back to his room.

I found him smiling and enthusiastic about the showing of the film. What?! What was going on in his head that made him think I would condone it, especially in a workplace?

I explained to him that what he had done not only went against our code of conduct, but was illegal and it was within my powers to have him removed from the station and sent back to Australia at the next available opportunity. He insisted it was just a bit of harmless fun, and the sign on the door was obvious — they knew what they were coming to see. It was an adult choice. Everyone had a ball!

How do some people go through life and still not have any idea about what is socially acceptable? I talked through what I remembered about the laws governing what is permissible for public display, the AAD policies around appropriate behaviour and finally the cultural norms we were trying to instil. I think most of it was lost on him, but he did get the bit about being sent home. Still professing he had done nothing wrong, Blake gave me a list of who had been in the room when he started the movie. I think he had been so engrossed in his own performance he hadn't noticed people walking out!

Strike while the iron's hot

It was late now, but I knew I had to deal with my people right there and then. One by one, I visited each person on the list to let them know I understood what had happened and was dealing strongly with the issue. They were surprised to find me at their door. At least I had changed back out of my pyjamas! The reactions were mixed: some people defended their adult choice to watch the video; others were apologetic, indicating they had no idea of the content and hadn't read the sign on the door. They figured it was going to be just a gardenvariety holiday film.

The point was it wasn't a judgement by me on the merits or otherwise of pornography. As I'd said all along, what you did in the privacy of your own room was your business. But this wasn't private, and this wasn't a bedroom. It was a very public screening in a workplace. No shades of grey. It was black and white.

It was 1 am by the time I finished checking in on all those who'd been in the theatre. With just three exceptions my people said they had made the choice to go in, knowing they might be surprised by the content. They had made an adult decision to watch, and when it was clear that it was just a showcase of Blake's sexual conquests most had made an adult decision to leave. Few had stayed to the end, which was when the worst of the movie was played.

Unsurprisingly, Antarctic expeditioners are a resilient bunch. I was lucky. The impact wasn't going to be as bad as I'd originally thought. And it was luck, pure and simple. We were all grown-ups and could make adult choices, but it was also a workplace where legislation on bullying and harassment applied.

In the morning I addressed the expeditioners at breakfast. But I had another challenge, as Blake was one of the aviation team. Taking him off station would severely curtail our science operations. The AAD and I were faced with a moral dilemma. Send Blake home and send a clear signal about appropriate behaviour, or accept this was a serious but one-off event, counsel Blake and continue to run the science program. The AAD agreed with my concerns but thought it would quickly blow over. They were keen for me to let it go. I was less convinced but in the end agreed. It was in poor taste, it was unbelievably disrespectful and it was illegal. And he was going to get away with it. Shades of grey indeed!

White Christmas

The lead-up to Christmas was challenging for me. I place great stock in celebrations. At home, my birthday is referred to as ‘the Festival of Rachael’ because I somehow manage to string it out over a week. This was my first Christmas away from my family and friends in 35 years, and it felt hollow. I knew I had some presents to open but it just wasn't the same not being with them. I began to feel quite homesick.

I pulled myself out of the funk by staying busy. I would do all my work then go looking for extra work. The whole station seemed like they were coping in the same way. Just stay busy! Try not to think about it.

I spoke to my family on Christmas Day on the telephone. I had about 15 minutes available but by the time I'd spoken to everyone I'd spent 20 minutes. I let Mum know I really loved the new handbag she had sent down. I gently explained that, while it was lovely, it would serve absolutely no purpose in Antarctica! We don't carry money as there's nowhere to spend it. I don't need a wallet, loyalty cards or mobile phone, and don't carry keys as there are no locks on the doors. The only personal effect I carry is my lip balm, and that slips nicely into my pocket. We had a great laugh about it!

Many handmade cards were distributed on station. I still have my card from Josh, one of the meteorologists. It was a lovely card, full of beautiful thoughts and sentiments, but his writing reminded me of a colt learning to gallop, or a 14-year-old boy after a growth spurt — all arms and legs. He wrote like I did in Year 12, full of huge, elegant and poetic words, all in context, but very much overdone.