In This Chapter

On one recent trip to the mall, my adorably clueless five-year-old fell in love with a litter of brand-new puppies at the pet store. After we left, with him nearly in tears, he asked (begged) if we could get a puppy. Being the stereotypical dad, I searched frantically for some way to avoid being the bad guy, and unfairly dished it off on my wife. I told him that “it wouldn’t be fair to Mommy to bring a puppy home without talking to her first.” His reply was that we could get Mommy a puppy as well. Trying not to laugh, I retreated to the old stand-by of, “We just don’t have the money to spend on a puppy right now.” To this he replied, “Duh, Dad, just go to the ATM!”

My son’s very simple view on problem-solving left me rolling my eyes, much in the same manner as when parents tell me about the financial impossibility of sending their child to college and I recommend that they simply send their child to a “free college.” I usually get some combination of dirty looks and an “Okay … free college …. Gee, why didn’t I think of that?!”

But as absurd as it sounds, there is really such a thing as “free college.” Or, at least it’s free in the sense of not having to paying large amounts of cash out of pocket. No, I’m not talking about cheap community colleges, free online classes, or classes offered in the back of your local bowling alley. There really are legitimate, accredited colleges that for one reason or another let the majority of their students attend without paying a dime in tuition.