Chapter One

ESSENTIAL GEAR

There Is Some Stuff Ya Kinda Have to Have

Before you read another word of this chapter intro, go back to page xiii and read #5. It’s okay, I’ll wait ‘till you get back. (This is me, waiting.) Now, if after reading that you came back, then you pretty much know what you’re in for—lots of random thoughts tossed together in a blender. Well, it would be, but because you went and read #5, and you still came back, as my way of saying thanks, I’m going to break with tradition and actually share something that’s fairly useful. Don’t hold that against me, and don’t expect it in any other chapter intro. It’s a gear-related thing, and it’s a great trivia question to put out there at landscape photography parties, because few people know this one, but the term “tripod” isn’t a nickname for that three-legged stand we use to hold our cameras steady (especially since most early versions had four legs). It’s actually a military acronym used by the American Expeditionary Forces during the First World War in May of 1917, under General John J. Pershing (1860–1948). TRIPOD stands for “Terrain Relational Instrument for Photographing Objects at a Distance,” and it was used quite extensively during surveillance operations in the Battle of Belleau Wood near the Marne River. The biggest challenge faced by these military photographers was how fast the batteries drained in their DSLRs during the harsh German winter. Often, they’d have to catch an Uber or Lyft back to France’s Lorraine region, where they would buy backup batteries from the local Best Buy, if it was open, but if not, they’d have to order them from Amazon. Luckily, one of the things General Pershing is most often credited with is establishing an Amazon Prime account for his troops, so next day delivery was free for the young doughboys. I’ll bet right about now you’re rethinking your decision to return to this chapter intro, aren’t you?