CHAPTER 8

SELF-DISCIPLINE:
WILLPOWER EQUALS COMMITMENT

In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves . . . self-discipline with all of them came first.

—HARRY S. TRUMAN

When we hear the words self-discipline or willpower, we tend to get a little tense. We think of all our bad habits, things we don’t want to do, or all the times we tried to exercise willpower and failed. Self-discipline is a critical life skill we need to develop to be charismatic and highly influential in the long term. Sure you can have some charisma without discipline, but lacking self-discipline will slowly erode your ability to influence others, especially when they see your weaknesses. An old saying is that, in life, you will either be disciplined or you will be disappointed.

Discipline and willpower are also known as inner strength. This strength is what drives and motivates us to achieve true success. It keeps us going in the right direction and helps us find courage and persistence. We tend to tune out the topics of discipline and willpower because we don’t want to feel uneasy. Watching TV is easier than reading a book; picking up fast food is easier than eating a healthy diet; staying broke is easier than becoming financially independent. People want results now—instant gratification—and when they don’t get them right away, they give up or say they can’t do it. Well, look around you: Self-discipline works, and it will work for you if you make the effort. When you lack discipline in life, you feel lazy, uninspired, and often depressed. Those feelings are the exact opposite of how a charismatic person feels.

Discipline is a choice we make because the envisioned future results are better than our current condition. We can truly be happy in life only when we are accomplishing what we want and know we are capable of achieving. To reach the top, we must practice self-discipline all the time. We can’t say, “I’ve been good this week, so I’ll slack off for a couple of days.” We need to learn to control our emotions, our habits, our minds, and our bodies. When we do so, we can stay committed even when we don’t feel like it, our mood has gone south, or are experiencing negative emotions. This mental posture not only attracts different people to you, but gives you peace, increased motivation, and massive success.

Self-discipline is like a willpower battery. As you exercise your discipline throughout the day, the battery’s energy (willpower) declines. What drains your battery? Fatigue, resisting temptations, negative emotions, low blood sugar, suppression of emotions, and even peer pressure will drain your willpower battery faster than anything else. The more we sequentially exercise our self-discipline, the more we drain our battery. Charismatic people seem to have more drive and self-discipline. They will have days when their willpower is low, but they have a game plan to charge it up. What works for you? Humor, a nap, meditation, exercise, visualization, or doing something you’re good at. You must create a game plan to be aware that your discipline is low and decide how you are going to recharge that battery before the charge runs out.

Many of your habits are so deeply ingrained that it will take you time and energy to make the change. Successful people understand that changes will come only when they acknowledge their bad habits. They admit to themselves that they need to change, and they find the discipline to make the change happen. Discipline brings courage and confidence, which magnifies your charisma. I know you can’t be 100 percent self-disciplined every minute of every day, but you can strengthen your future self-discipline every day. Your life is an accumulation of all your habits. Your day-to-day behavior and results are always tied into your habits. Take a look at your habits, and acknowledge any bad habits you have. Charismatic people have discovered their weak habits and made the necessary changes.

BLIND SPOT

Obviously, if you don’t have self-discipline, you can’t really ask others to be disciplined. The big blind spot is that being disciplined in one aspect of your life does not mean that you have self-discipline. The lack of discipline in all aspects of your life will pull you down. Let’s say you are disciplined in four areas of your life, but in two other areas you are not so disciplined. Each weak area of your life affects the strong areas of your life. Self-discipline is critical in every aspect of your life. Be careful with this blind spot. Most people rate their self-discipline much higher than it actually is. This misperception causes them to never address the major weaknesses in their lives.

APPLICATION

What can you do to strengthen your willpower and your self-discipline? Doing so is easier than you think. You already have the desire, and you already know you are capable of more. You know you want more success in your life. This is what you can do to enhance your self-discipline:

Break your goals down into smaller steps or smaller pieces.

Visualize what you are going to get rather than what you are giving up.

Monitor your progress on an hourly or daily basis.

Make sure your objective is really what you want.

Recruit friends to help support you on your path to success.

Mentally prepare yourself that you might have a few setbacks.

Have a game plan when your willpower is drained and needs to be recharged.

EXAMPLE

One of the greatest inventors in history was Thomas Alva Edison. When we think of self-discipline and sticking to a task we always think of Thomas Edison. There are many stories about Edison’s failing thousands of times in trying to develop the electric light bulb. Sources say he never claimed those as failures, but as successful attempts at finding things that would not work. His ability to overcome setbacks and his quest for perfection are obvious parts of his success. He was so focused on what he wanted that his self-discipline became a natural part of who he was and what he accomplished. He was one of the most prolific inventors in history. He had 1,093 U.S. patents, which include the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and, of course, the light bulb.

CHARISMA KEY

The key to self-discipline is to understand how your habits are helping or hurting you. What can you do to develop healthier habits and a stronger self-discipline? Choose the one habit that is really holding you back from achieving your objectives. Ask yourself, where are your habits taking you? Then ponder the long-term consequences of the habit. Come up with a game plan for replacing the habit and for what are you going to do when your self-discipline weakens. Choose your weakest habit today, find your solution, and create a game plan.

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