CHAPTER 27

GOODWILL:
CHARITY AND COMPASSION

I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit.

—JOHN F. KENNEDY

Many people think that, when they get into positions of prominence, others should be serving them or looking up to them. This is a great way to turn people off and decrease your charisma. If your only focus is on you, then eventually all the focus will be off you. Others might try to get your attention, but they are only after you for money or recognition; they are not seeking you out because of who you are. When you start to focus on others, show kindness, and offer charity and goodwill, the focus will return to you. When you look for the good in others, you become better yourself. When you start looking for ways to serve, not only do you open the doors to influence, but you also increase your well-being and your happiness.

Having goodwill entails being friendly and showing genuine concern for other people. Aristotle said, “We consider as friends those who wish good things for us and who are pained when bad things happen to us.” This type of concern and kindness means being perceptive and thoughtful. It means being considerate in all your encounters. Always be polite, and show genuine concern to those around you. That concern is the foundation for all interactions and creates a mood of reciprocity and charisma. You will win hearts and loyalty through compassion and goodwill.

You demonstrate goodwill by focusing on positives and by being careful with the negatives. Don’t be harsh or forceful when dealing with people. Remember, people can be highly sensitive and feel overly vulnerable. Watch your statements and your actions, and always show that you have the audience’s best interest in mind. Never criticize someone unless you really need to, and then do it the right way. Criticism can damage your relationship, destroy the connection with the person, and hurt your charisma. Anytime you make someone feel stupid, you are perceived as inconsiderate and your ability to influence diminishes. Instead, find something positive and show goodwill. This will increase acceptance and self-confidence. Show that you care, show some goodwill, and you will automatically increase your charisma.

A big part of goodwill is the mindset of abundance, which is a state of mind that allows you to give, knowing that the universe will reward you. You don’t give for the sake of reward; you give because giving is the right thing to do. As author Stephen Covey said, “The abundance mentality flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. . . . It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.” You know that giving of your time, money, or even skills is not only the right thing to do, it increases your abundance, your health, your happiness, and your charisma. Get past the scarcity mentality that society has given you, and see the abundance the world has to offer. Realize that we are all on the same human team and that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Always be willing to share your strengths, and someone will come along to help you with your weaknesses.

BLIND SPOT

Having a good heart, serving others, and showing goodwill is something most of us think we are already doing. Ask yourself whether you can do more. Showing sincere kindness to others empowers them and increases your charisma. We don’t develop goodwill by getting something from someone; we show goodwill because it is the right thing to do. The blind spot is thinking that, “When I arrive [whatever and whenever that may be], I will be kinder, be more charitable, and offer more goodwill. When I have more time and money, I will give back.” The time to start showing more goodwill is now. The time to increase your charity is today.

APPLICATION

The application is simple. Start giving of yourself, start caring about others, and start showing your goodwill. You will be amazed at how much people will want to be around you, and you will become a happier person. Try some of these simple things to get started:

Do something to improve someone’s day.

Offer a compliment when it is least expected.

Sincerely ask how another person is doing.

Look for the small opportunities to serve.

Pay the toll of the person behind you.

Leave a big tip.

Give 10 percent of your income to a church, charity, or cause.

EXAMPLE

When I think of goodwill, I always think of the Chicken Soup for the Soul guys, Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield. They created the series of books that has sold over 100 million copies around the world. One of the reasons for their success is that they are both genuinely good people. They are willing to help others, give back, and make the world a better place. You could be a stranger meeting either one of them at an airport, and they would be more than willing to help you. They also have dedicated 10 percent of the proceeds of each book to charity, and they have donated millions of dollars to charities around the world. They are big believers that the more you give, the more you get. Some would say, sure, they have the money to give, so it’s no big deal. Well, when they were broke and the first book came out, they already had committed to give 10 percent of the royalties to charity. They both believe that this goodwill is a key factor in their success.

CHARISMA KEY

Be aware of the world around you. If you are like most people, you are stuck on your own life. Try to focus on everyone else you meet. Substitute positive thinking for all the negative thoughts and comments about other people. Look for the good in others, and strive to bring out the best in them. When you can improve the life of everyone you meet (it could take only seconds) in some subtle way, you will radiate goodwill. Everyone needs a little help now and then. Today, look for a chance to practice goodwill, provide a bit of service. You will see everyone benefit.

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