How to be a Complete and Utter F**k Up is your ultimate ANTI life coach. Be warned: whatever you do, dont do the opposite of what you learn here or else youre in serious danger of making some positive changes and leading a more successful life. How to be a Complete and Utter F**k Up turns the concept of self-improvement on its head. It brings together 47 and a half leading ideas in personal and business development, and oers a total antidote to the motivational, gung-ho, over-enthused tone of all the usual self-improvement guides. Delivered in fast, easily digestible chunks, in a style that makes you laugh while you learn, this book oers tongue-in-cheek advice about what not to do to ensure certain failure in every aspect of your life. From not having any goals, to not getting advice from people youve never met or who are dead, to not taking personal responsibility for your life and results, every idea, strategy, suggestion and story is guaranteed to propel you into the slow lane of total inadequacy and has been tested with thousands of real people. How to be a Complete and Utter F**k Up comes with a warning that you dont think about taking the direct opposite steps to those outlined in the guide, as this could seriously damage your chances of becoming a failure. Behind the humour, though, is good advice and a serious message. And whether you choose to heed the warning or not, its an extremely entertaining read.
Table of Contents
- Cover
- Title
- Copyright
- Contents
- About the author
- Publisher’s acknowledgements
- Preface to the third edition
- How to get the most from this guide
- Introduction
- 1 Don’t decide what you want. If you do decide what you want, don’t think about why you want it. And if you do decide why you want it, commit to believing you can’t have it
- 2 Don’t do things on purpose
- 3 Don’t stop working for a living
- 4 Don’t know what you value in life (and if you do, lose sight of it)
- 5 Don’t spend any of your time in the future
- 6 Don’t have any goals
- 7 If you do have goals, don’t put them in writing, and if you do, don’t think too big
- 8 Don’t plan your priorities
- 9 Don’t involve other people
- 10 Don’t have a mentor or be a mentor
- 11 Don’t get advice from people you’ve never met or who are dead
- 12 Don’t take action right now
- 13 Don’t get feedback on your actions
- 14 Don’t adjust
- 15 Don’t get even more feedback, don’t be flexible . . . (you get the idea)
- 16 Don’t practise continuous improvement
- 17 Don’t wear a parachute
- 18 Don’t change your beliefs
- 19 Don’t stop having a deep fear of fucking up and of making a fool of yourself
- 20 Don’t take personal responsibility for your life and results
- 21 Don’t stop believing in luck
- 22 Don’t expand your comfort zone
- 23 Don’t use inside-out thinking
- 24 Don’t put things in before you try to takethings out
- 25 Don’t control your moods
- 26 Don’t transform your language
- 27 Don’t think about the first four minutes
- 28 Don’t talk and think about what you want
- 29 Don’t go to the movies
- 30 Don’t stop being an unthinking dog
- 31 Don’t ask, “How do you do that?” Don’t act ‘as if’. And don’t be naïve
- 32 Don’t change the meaning of things
- 33 Don’t stop thinking only about money, money, money
- 34 Don’t have a good laugh
- 35 Don’t be creative or innovative
- 36 Don’t think of your own idea to go here
- 37 Don’t stop always taking ‘no’ for an answer
- 38 Don’t be grateful
- 39 Don’t commit to lifelong learning
- 40 Don’t be a leader
- 41 Don’t learn to communicate
- 42 Don’t understand the secrets of great teams and great customer service
- 43 Don’t develop winners and winning relationships
- 44 Don’t start moving
- 45 Don’t believe you can be a fun-loving non-drinker
- 46 Believe you can beat depression
- 47 Don’t step up. Don’t do extraordinary things
- 47 ½ Don’t stop doing everything by halves, that’s if you do anything at all
- Disclaimers
- Answers
- Index