Step

12

Don’t take action right now

Someone once said: “There are two ways to reach the top of an oak tree – you climb it or sit on an acorn and wait.” It’s really important you don’t do anything. Don’t even lift a finger in the direction of your ambitions. Just keep hoping something will turn up, even though someone else said: “People who wait for something to turn up might start with their own shirt sleeves.”

Never mind all that carpe diem seize the day stuff. I mean, you’ve got all the time in the world, haven’t you? Let’s put it off till tomorrow. For instance, let’s say the average person reading this is only 35 years of age, then you’ve a good chance of living to be at least 80 (although remember, pessimists die younger, so you might have to take that into account). Now we’re told in a lifetime the average person will spend 23 years sleeping, 14 years sitting in sofas or armchairs, 4½ years eating, 2 years in the bath, 2 years reading newspapers and 30 seconds making love. So that leaves loads of time, doesn’t it? Indeed, why not delay things indefinitely? The fact is, few people have developed a real sense of urgency, apart from New York cab drivers, so why should you? No matter that Jonathan Winters said: “I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.”

It would seem there is a direct relationship between how fast you act and results. Tony Robbins, one of those sunny American motivational gurus, says: “Never leave the site of setting a goal without first taking some form of positive action.”

“As usual you should ignore the wisdom of these world-renowned experts.”

I think what he means is, as soon as you’ve written or visualised the goal, ask yourself: “What can I do right now to help me achieve it?” That might just be a phone call to someone who can give you advice. As usual you should ignore the wisdom of these world-renowned experts. This shouldn’t be too difficult because here are some universal truths:

• •You always secretly feel a bit scared when stroking a horse.
• •Driving through tunnels makes people feel excited.
• •The most painful household accident involves stepping on an upturned electrical plug in bare feet; a close second is walking on a Lego brick.
• •No one respects a man who carries a dog.
• •People who can’t drive always slam passenger doors too hard.
• •After all is said, more is said than done.

So just keep talking about what you are going to do but don’t do it. Your goal isn’t to get moving, to take enthusiastic action, right this second. Your goal isn’t to become unstoppable. Your goal is to be the same, do the same and have the same as everyone else, which you’ve got to admit, isn’t very much. Of course, if you can, aim for even less than the average. Anyway, why worry? You know you’re not willing to take action, because just like most people, you are intrinsically lazy. A Zen master observed another universal truth when he said: “After the ecstasy, the laundry.” You simply don’t want to put in the work necessary to be an outstanding success. Please don’t keep reading this rubbish – just stare blankly into space and do nothing.