Step

36

Don’t think of your own idea to go here

If you can come up with an extra idea on how to be a complete and utter fuck-up, please let me know (my contact details can be found on at the back of this guide). I’m guessing if you’re reading this then it won’t be you. By the way, if you’re unlucky enough to have a bright spark within your organisation or life (by definition they won’t have been with you long), don’t stop using any of the following responses in order to kill their ideas: “We tried it before.” “That sounds crazy to me.” “Maybe next year.” “It would cost too much time and/or money.” “Our customers would never go for that.” “You can’t do that here.” “Get out of my office.” “You’re fired.” Don’t think my reaction to any of your ideas would be open-minded interest either.

Of course, if in the unlikely event you’re the one having the ideas, you might do well to note Howard Aiken’s advice: “Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.”

“Simply settle for the first bland, boring or safe idea that pops into your head.”