Step

23

Don’t use inside-out thinking

What’s going to create a worse future for you is you. If you haven’t already, wake up to the fact that the difference that makes the difference is you. Now you could carry on regardless, as you have been doing to date, giving no conscious thought to the world you are creating for yourself. But I think, if you want to be a spectacular fuck-up, now is the time to think about what is going on, on the inside. Because it’s what happens on the inside, not the outside, that counts. Now I know to date you’ve blamed everything in the outside world for your not getting what you want. This excuse works well because it’s the one most people use. So don’t be embarrassed to use it.

The following story illustrates my point: Two workmen sit down at lunchtime and open their lunch boxes. “Oh no! Banana sandwiches again, what have you got, can I swap?” says the first workman to the second. “No, I hate banana, especially in sandwiches,” comes the reply. Next day the same two workmen open their lunch boxes again. “Oh no! Banana again, please swap.” “Look,” says his colleague, “I told you yesterday that I hate banana.” The third day exactly the same thing happens. “Listen,” says the exasperated second workman, “Why don’t you get your wife to make you something different?” “My wife?” says the first guy, “I’m not married. I make my own sandwiches.”

Who made your sandwiches?

Just as an aside. For as long as I can remember I’d hated the smell and taste of bananas. I avoided eating them my whole life. Something deeply unpleasant must have happened between me and a banana when I was small! Then at the age of 61 after I caught the running bug, I decided I’d have to train myself to love them because they are the best, most convenient energy foods to have if you’re on or about to start a long run. Now I can’t get enough of their yellow curvy goodness. If you’ve a big enough reason why, you’ll be amazed what you can do. On the other hand, you must keep saying there are certain foods you will never eat. Or as Candy once said: “Steve, you’ve goji berries stuck in your teeth again!”

You see, most of the things we complain about in life, we did. Life really is a do-it-yourself project and here’s how to make a botched job of it. If you want to have a below-average job, a below-average relationship and a below-average life, just have below-average excitement, below-average dedication and below-average enthusiasm. The formula is simple: to have less, simply become less, from the inside out. Remember, work harder on other things than you do on yourself because only successful people do it the other way around. Console yourself with the thought that even if you stayed just the way you are, in our fast-changing world, you’re still going to be left way, way behind.